32. Soulmates

Kiran knocked on Seff’s bedroom door. He had his shit-eating grin waiting, ready to charm her the second they saw each other. But he wasn’t happy when he heard not just her heartbeat but *three*. And the hushed curse and the sounds of scrambling.
He knocked again. “Seff,” he commanded.
The door flung open and she smiled sweetly. “Kiran. Can I help you?”
The Alpha tried to look over her shoulder, but she flipped her hair and stepped to block his line of sight. She pressed her breasts together then, and he diverted his attention—just as she wanted him, a naive tactic, but an effective one. “I hoped you would join me for a picnic in the orchard.”
She blinked in surprise. Kiran had to admit, he was a shit werewolf lately. After Aster and the following days *cuddling* his newborn twins in their nest, and after his ugly tantrum over Selene’s sextuplets, he hadn’t been bedding his Omegas in heats, thereby shirking his obligations. And had been ignoring Seff—which he regretted, but she most likely did not.
“Oh. Sure.”
He grinned. “Great. How does right now sound?”
She quirked her mouth, forgetting everything bad in light of the humor. “Sure.”
Kiran offered his arm; she took it without hesitation. Together they made their way down the hall to the open gates, where a wicker basket sat waiting. He scooped it up with his free hand and guided Seff through the neat rows of the apple trees.
It was just before the afternoon and the summer sun was glorious on bared skin. Kiran felt Seff’s rub against his, and for a brief moment, he was transported a hundred years ago, where the same sensation had made him want to be better. To be all the things he wasn’t. To be kind. To be good.
Maybe Seff could make him feel that way again.
Her hair was unbound, stirring in the breeze. Her green eyes sparkled and her beautiful mouth was still curved in a faint smile. She didn’t glance toward him because her head was tipped toward the open sky to watch the clouds drift by. She looked…happy. Or at the very least content.
“Here,” he said, almost passing the spot. He’d laid out a blanket himself. Letting her arm slip out of his, Kiran set the basket in the middle while they lowered themselves down. Seff crossed her legs and arranged her silks to cover herself as much as possible.
Zinnia had been unafraid of every inch of her skin. Kiran loved—yes, loved, because he’d been capable of it back then—how shameless she was. She’d move her body, speak her mind as if no one could tell her otherwise. Like Aster, she found a chink in his armor that was soft for crude humor.
Kiran flipped open the lid of the basket so the scents of their lunch could waft out. But he held his breath as Seff leaned down to sniff. *Please*, he hoped.
Seff’s eyes flashed and she jerked up. She looked confused, searching his face as if frantically trying to recognize who he was. Kiran’s damned heart betrayed him by fluttering like a godsdamned butterfly.
It flew just a little too high.
“Who did you threaten to find out that sheep is my favorite meal?”
Wings ripped. *She doesn’t remember.*
Well, he saw their shared favorite was at least the same.
Kiran leaned back on his elbows and grinned. “You looked like you had a hankering for Greek.”
She snorted. “May I?”
“Please do.”
It wasn’t hard to see that she was hungry. The lesser Alphas he charged her with, Altan and Elio, reported to him at the end of each week. They said that she ate all her meals, but never the entire helping. She just picked at it until she stiff-pawed it away from her. Was she trying to starve herself? Lose weight so she would be an ill fit to bear his pups?
Whatever her mental process, she scarfed down the slabs of lamb meat, licking her chops after each one before starting the next.
Then she noticed his staring and froze, juice dribbling down her beautiful chin. “Oh.”
Kiran laughed deeply at her scramble to straighten and clean herself up. “No, no, I welcome candidness. Wolves are in tune with nature. We can’t fend our instincts off, can we?”
He didn’t miss the small cock of her head, picking up his innuendo. “What instincts would those be?”
“The desire to press flesh against flesh, slow and smooth,” Kiran said huskily, eyes heavy-lidded. “Lips to lips, soft. The feel of silk…or grass.”
Seff’s leg, slow and smooth indeed, extended off the blanket and curled her toes in the sweet summer grass. So tantalizing, all of it. And lips? She licked them. And Kiran? He was set ablaze.
It was a risk to break their gazes apart, so Kiran’s hand slipped over hers without looking. She didn’t pull back, though she tried to hide her wince. She was afraid of him—of what he would do to her. Because he hurt her too many times already.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Seff blinked twice, going wide. Those soft lips parted in surprise, in disbelief. Obviously she didn’t believe him wholly, but it seemed like she *wanted to*. “For?”
“Everything,” Kiran confessed, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. “Being such a knothead to you, to your beloved friend—”
“Allium.”
“Allium,” he amended, remembering to be more considerate when it came to Seff’s protectiveness over the female. “I mean no offense.”
“But all the cruel things you *have* done…have been on purpose.” Seff drew her hand out of his. “How can I even *like* you if you haven’t made one effort to be kind?”
Kiran forced himself not to scowl. This wasn’t going as planned. Romancing wasn’t as easy as it used to be after one stowed their heart away for so long. He had to switch tactics. “I can change, Seff. For you.”
“Why?”
*Godsdamnit, woman, stop making this so hard*. Kiran released a sigh, the absence of her skin on his leaving him cold. “Soulmates can continue after death, you know.”
Seff’s dark brows knitted. All he and Selene were doing were confusing her more, but neither wanted to scare her away with the truth—and what they believed the truth could entail. They didn’t want to lie, but they couldn’t exactly *not* lie.
*Soulmates after death* wasn’t a lie either, but could it be a truth? Kiran didn’t know. But seeing Seff’s face…there was a great chance it very well could be.
“You…you had a soulmate?” Seff whispered. “You had a *mate*?”
The jab—intended or not—found no mark, because Kiran felt like they were on the cusp of something the universe made for them to find. Something that might make Seff realize she was *supposed* to fall in love with him, because he was already in love with her.
“Yes. By ‘after death’ I mean after one’s death, the living can still find another. And…Seff, I think you are mine.”