43. Bashful

Seff felt dwarfed by Kiran’s massive four-poster bed. She also couldn’t stop thinking about how many Omegas he had sex with in it.
Miraculously, she was tired enough to fall asleep not long after. The day’s events drained her mental and physical reserves too much. She would write Hawthorn before breakfast.
She dreamed, though.
It was short.
Just a moon that dripped blood into the calm water of a pool, deep in a forest.
Seff jolted upright with a strangled gasp, hands flying to her throat.
Her heart pounded and her eyes burned with tears. *What kind of dream was that?*
A knock on the door made her jump. “Seff? It’s Altan. Can I come in?”
Her friend’s voice calmed her immediately and she wiped the tears away with the heels of her palms, slipping from the bed onto the floor. She made sure her silks sufficiently covered her and, glancing in the magnificent gold-gilded mirror, called back, “Come in.”
“’Morning, Bleize! I brought you—” Seff slammed into the young Alpha, burying her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around him; as much as she could, at least, with their size difference. “Whoa. Hey, are you okay? I mean, I’m not complaining, but…”
She associated the twins’ scents with safety and comfort. As Alphas, they were musky and strong, but there was a hint of their Moon heritage—Baran, their mother Aura’s last name from the Sky pack, not Oriana, given by Kiran used to conceal the secret. Moonflowers and sweet winds.
Altan rubbed her back a bit awkwardly. “Seff…uh, as much as I want… Ah.” He cleared his throat. “This isn’t the best place for this. What’s wrong?”
She withdrew and wiped away her tears aggressively, looking up at Altan’s Sun features, unable to hide her quivering lower lip. “Lots of things,” she said with a short laugh. “Right now? A bad dream.”
His brows knitted, looking between her and Kiran’s bed. “Sleeping on a cloud?”
“How many other people slept on that cloud?” she asked with her brows choosing to raise.
Altan’s mouth quirked toward a smile. “Good point. That’d give anyone nightmares.” Then his good humor faded some. “You still look beautiful, Seff.”
She sniffed and ducked her head before resting her hand on his cheek. “Thank you, Altan.”
He leaned into it. “I—and my brother—meant what we said. We’ll never betray you. We’ll always be here, good times and bad, Seff.”
Her hand slipped down to rest on his chest over his heart, which beat steady but hard. “You have perfect souls. I wish you didn’t have to…” She lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “Play double agents. It’s dangerous.”
“It’s worth it for the females we protect,” he said just as quietly with a hand over hers. “You, Selene, and our mother. Even Kiran can’t scare us away. Besides,” he continued with a lighter tone, “if he ever found out, we can finally brawl.”
Seff dropped her hand to cross her arms. “Altan.”
“Yes?” he asked innocently, distracting her by offering her a box she hadn’t realized he was holding in his other hand. “He doesn’t always have good taste, but I have to admit, this is pretty classy. Also, I know it’s stupid but maybe he’d reveal who our father is.”
She clicked her tongue but accepted the box, tossing the lid aside with a spark of excitement—she loved getting gifts, being it a rarity—only for her jaw to drop. Underneath the velvet cushioning she unfolded was a dress. Altan took the box so she could hold it up. The soft fabric was white with a single large magnolia flower artfully printed across most of it. The necklace was almost straight across and would cover most of her breasts, the sleeves starting just below the shoulders and ending right below the elbows, the hem mid-thigh. It was classy.
“Gods,” she breathed, finding herself not hesitating to shed her silks and pull the dress on.
“Ah!” Altan covered his eyes with a hand and spun around. “I’d love to see you naked, Seff, but under special circumstances.”
“Sorry,” she said hastily, now in front of the mirror to adjust the sticky band that held up the strapless garment to her breasts. She twisted this way and that to admire the fit. It really was beautiful. Much more her style and comfortability than scanty strips of silk. “I wish I could hate him for this.”
“I’m guessing it’s having the opposite effect.”
Seff’s mood dimmed when she looked back at Altan. His mouth was skewed and body language conveying bitterness—and not jealousy, but *envy*. “I don’t love him, Altan.”
“Yes, but this might make you lean toward the feeling.”
Seff didn’t want to fight with her friend. She was spared by a knock on the doorframe. Altan retreated just in case it was Kiran, but it was Sol. Ever neutral, she gestured to follow. “He’s waiting at the gates. Hurry up.”
Kiran’s back faced them as he spoke to Elio, which meant he didn’t see Seff stumble over her own bare feet. The lesser Alpha saw her first and his eyes went wide. Kiran cut off and turned—his eyes seemed to glow gold and his grin made her heart stutter.
He strode up to her, taking her hand and spinning her around, much to her surprise. “You look magnificent. The dress compliments your eyes.”
“The white blends in with my hair,” Seff pointed out, “but it is nice.”
His scowl was playful. “Beauty is beauty. Come.” Kiran offered a crooked arm. Seff looked from Elio to Altan, whose expressions were warily supportive. She tried to assure them with a small smile before looping her arm in the Alpha’s.
Kiran altered his much longer gait to accommodate her smaller one as they strode through the gates and the orchard to the Crystal River. It was a warm morning, the sun arose just before noon. There was a large quilted blanket just above the sandy shore with a picnic basket in its center. Seff already scented meat.
Pressed together, Kiran leaned down to ask her, “How is your leg?”
“My leg? Oh.” It must have completely healed in the night, because she hadn’t felt a single stab of pain. “It’s fine now. I can take off the bandages when—”
Kiran purred. “It’s provocative if I take them off slowly.” She snorted, but he changed the subject by nodding his head toward the basket. “Her mouth was watering and she suddenly hated Kiran’s doting because he was catering to what she’d secretly daydreamed about: a sweet gift, a date with fine food, skinship… All the things that maybe…she imagined with Hawthorn. Not the Sun Alpha.
They unhooked arms to stretch out onto the blanket with the basket between them. The sound of the river soothed Seff’s nerves—*stupid nerves, why are you nervous?!*—as she looked out at the rest of the orchard and the fields beyond, and the forest beyond that. They were north-facing; the route to Castle Night was eastward. Seff didn’t dare crane her neck too far east.
“I wanted to…to…apologize.”
Seff stared at Kiran, who clearly had trouble even pronouncing the word. He was looking out ahead too and raked his fingers through his thick gold hair that Seff suddenly wanted to feel—hating the thought immediately after. “There is a list of things to apologize for, I believe.”
Kiran chuckled and glanced at her. “Yes, I believe so too.”
“Start with *soulmates after death*.”
“Ah. Yes. That.” Kiran rubbed the back of his neck as if he was capable of bashfulness. “Seff, I—”
“*What* after *what*?!”