70. Bloody White Part II

Seff’s heart cracked into a dozen shards. *No. No no no… Allium… *
*It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. Ever since the Choosing—*
“Seff!”
The shards seemed to freeze midair in her chest as if they had been falling into the pit of her stomach. She heard the pounding of paws on grass and then sand. It kicked up over her fur and into the deep wound she only just realized was gushing blood from her flank.
Fear coursed faster than adrenaline through her veins. *I can’t fight, I can’t—*
It wasn’t the Sun Alpha that skidded in front of her, but…but…
She breathed, “Allium.”
Her best friend’s muzzle was spattered red, but her eyes were vibrant. “Seff.” She pressed her to Seff’s in reassurance. “I’m okay.”
She was stunned into disbelief. “Allium… But… I thought…”
Allium burrowed her snout under Seff’s neck to lift it. “Alpha males,” she grunted with effort, “aren’t very strategic. C’mon, we have to get you up.”
If she had been weak with exhaustion and near-paralyzation, she was certainly weaker with relief. “I thought you…”
“I jumped out of the way last second so he bashed straight into the tree.” They managed to get Seff at least laying upright. Allium conformed her body to hers, pressed together, resting her head on Seff’s paws so Seff could rest hers on Allium’s neck. “I never thought I’d be relieved to hear a skull go *crack*.”
“He’s not…dead, is he?”
“No, he’s still breathing. Just knocked out cold.” In spite of everything, she assumed a gossiping tone, “He won’t be too happy when he remembers a skinny little Omega female beat him.”
Seff was dizzy with blood loss and confusion. Though she was comforted by her friend’s thick fur, she managed, “But why is your muzzle bloody?”
“I told him I’d bite his fucking face off, didn’t I?” she said innocently.
“Alli!”
“What? I didn’t *actually*. I just chomped on his leg because he bit yours. Retaliation!”
They were quiet for a moment. Seff closed her eyes. As her racing thoughts slowed and sorted themselves out, she mumbled, “I thought you hated me.”
Allium lifted her head to meet Seff’s gaze. Seff was able to keep hers aloft just a little. Her friend, despite her light tone, looked miserable. Seff had a feeling it was more than just the blood and the rush of the fight. It was still possible for their wolf forms to cry, and that’s what Allium did.
“I never did,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Seff, I’m so fucking sorry.”
They had been friends, sisters, for longer than Seff could remember. They shared smiles and frowns and stories. They lost baby teeth together, they lost their virginity the same night on their first trips to the Frisk Floors. Allium’s to Warrin from the Winter pack, Seff’s to one of his friends. They had arguments but never fights.
They promised to never let *anything*, *ever*, come between them.
But when the only thing Allium ever wanted—to stand before Kiran Cyrus and be Chosen to bear his offspring—was ruined by Seff’s simple presence… That promise dissolved like sugar.
“You made me feel so alone.”
Allium’s ears flattened and she looked away.
“You yelled at me and let our own pack mates attack me. We promised—we promised, Alli—we *swore*…” Seff’s voice rasped as tears burned her eyes. “We swore to never let the other get hurt, no matter what or how, and always be there for each other. I don’t understand… I don’t understand why you abandoned me so easily.”
“It wasn’t easy. I don’t hate *you*, Seff.” Allium looked at her with such sadness and regret that it physically hurt. “I hate *me*.”
Seff released a shuddering sigh. Released with it was every bad feeling she’d harbored toward her sister. Though those things were true, and Seff’s knowledge of how much hell she was put through… If Allium was willing to admit a heartfelt apology and wanted her friend back…then Seff would choose her love over resentment.
She touched her nose to Allium’s, startling her. “I forgive you. I love you, Allium.”
She made a strangled noise and nuzzled Seff, pressing into her for warmth and comfort. “I love you, too, Seff.”
The river rushed behind them and crickets chirped in the grass. Seff could have fallen asleep then and there in her friend’s embrace, but she was starting to shiver.
“Oh gods,” Allium realized. “We need to get you to the medic! Oh gods! *Hawthorn*!”
She eased away from Seff and bolted to her paws just as there was a croaked, “I’m okay, thanks for asking,” from above. His fur was almost entirely stained red. He limped and skidded down the small hill, stumbling into the sand to them, where he collapsed beside Seff, his head falling onto the tops of her shoulders. “Are you?”
Seff held in her yelp of pain. “You probably made my injured spine worse and I’m bleeding out, but otherwise…yes.”
“Alli?” Hawthorn mumbled, then his voice took on a horrified note. “Alli! You Shifted! The pups—”
Allium had settled into a sitting position in front of Seff to watch them and had begun to smile in relief. But at those last two words, her ears went back and she looked away. She started to shake.
Seff tried to make eye contact, but gave up quickly in favor of her gaze traveling slowly to her friend’s sandy belly between her forelegs and stared. Stared, and felt her battered body fill with anguish.
Her voice and heart broke even further. “You did that… You risked your life…and…and your *babies*…for *me*? Alli…your pups could…”
She couldn’t bear to say the word. Die.
Allium nodded once, dropping her head. It was clear she was too afraid to Shift back in fear of making it worse. “I know.”
Now it was guilt crashing down on Seff. Werewolves weren’t supposed to Shift during pregnancies because it could alter the form of the pup, sometimes causing deformities, caught somewhere between human and wolf, or them being delivered stillborn. Sometimes the mother could die, too, unable to birth them, Omega’s bodies being so small in more ways than one.
Her best friend wanted to bear Kiran a litter for the past decade. She got that chance—but it was ruined by Seff for a second time.
“Hey, now,” Hawthorn said hesitantly, unsure whether he’d make the situation lighter or worse. “It hasn’t been that long, right? Maybe the pups haven’t formed enough that it alters them.”
*Even if I could forgive her*, Seff thought,* even after just now, how could Allium ever forgive me for what I’ve done?*
“Maybe,” Allium murmured.
Then her ears perked and she went on high alert. A moment later, Seff picked up what she heard: thundering footfalls. Allium posed protectively in front of her and Hawthorn as two more Alpha males appeared at the top of the slope.
It was bad timing that Seff was overtaken by lightheadedness. Her vision started to blur and grow dark. The Shift suddenly ripped her back into her human form—which only heightened her pain tenfold, her legs numbed by the impact of her spine as well as the gaping gash on her thigh. She was shivering terribly.
Hawthorn grunted as Shifted as well, which also did no wonders as his weight dropped onto her back. He managed to roll them both over so his back faced the new enemies, shielding Seff. She wished she could tell them both to *stop protecting her*, but her mind was fading into unconsciousness.
Seff then heard barking voices, angry and deep, and Allium barking back. She sounded strong and unafraid.
*That’s my best friend*, Seff thought in admiration before she blacked out on the shore of the Crystal River.