85. The Amaranth Records

*Let me start off by saying that I’m sorry.*
A sob burst from Seff’s throat. Wrapped in Hawthorn’s arms, she forced herself to keep reading.
*Our last name is Amaranth and we’re the last descendants of one of the founding families of the Magnolia pack over one hundred years ago.*
*I’m writing this after I realized you were the next reincarnation-slash-doppelgänger in our family, the third one after our whatever-greats grandmothers Zinnia and Calla. Gods forbid anything happens to me, but if something does, I’m giving you the key to what we call the Amaranth records.*
*It’s just a white box on our bookshelf in the living room. Over one hundred years’ worth of journals and diaries and conspiracy theories and research findings. Things our Omega foremothers passed down daughter to daughter with hopes they won’t be the next female with Zinnia and Calla’s face. The fear was always that their respective mates would find the next one and do whatever they could to bring back their lost soulmates.*
*It’s known that they have been spying on us each decade in hopes the next one would reappear and it’s driven some wolves crazy. My own mother was so paranoid that she rarely let me leave the house by myself.*
*Her fear stemmed from reading those records. Even after it was certain I wasn’t the next doppelgänger she thought Kiran and Selene were watching us every day. That’s why we didn’t go see her very often. Especially after your father and I were certain you WERE the next one.*
*Seeing my mom so distraught made me decide what every she-wolf before us wouldn’t: the records would end with us. She gave me a new diary to start. Apparently each generation contributed by researching each writing before and then forming our own theories.*
*I thought it was all too much. There shouldn’t have been this much evidence on so little evidence, if that makes sense. Two members of our pack found their mates and fell in love. They died horrible deaths. It was the anomaly of past lives in the same bloodline that fascinated everyone, but I didn’t understand why it was so all-consuming.*
*I didn’t want my pup to have to bear the dark history of all that paper. I never wrote anything. And I never want you to even touch the box.*
*I’m writing this after Kiran and Selene visited to sniff Potentials. I was terrified they would be able to scent Zinnia and Calla from you, and so relieved when they didn’t that I cried. I couldn’t let you see because it would make you so confused.*
*I thought it was a miracle that your scent changed to an Omega’s but you didn’t have heats, because there was a tiny hope they wouldn’t Choose you. I never wanted you to even be near them. The one thing I learned from those records is how to hate those Alphas. They destroyed our family just because they loved too much.*
*I did write one theory. Just one piece of paper: why you don’t have heats or produce slick. I think it is because Calla and Zinnia endured horrible injuries to their reproductive organs. Zinnia wrote about hers, but it was a friend of Calla’s at Castle Night who described her death*.
Seff tore her eyes away to look frantically at Wisteria. “How did they die?” she rasped.
Wisteria’s expression was pained. “It’s in the records—”
“Tell me now.” *I’ve endured so much pain and fear*, she thought frantically, *because of my inability to function like every other Omega werewolf. How much isolation—*
“Zinnia was in an abusive relationship,” Wisteria said, and then sighed. “Linden let me read most of the records. Her lover, Larkspur, before Kiran didn’t want her to have pups with him, especially because they already had twin daughters together. So he…tore our her womb.”
Seff didn’t know if she could bear much more.
“And Calla…” Wisteria looked around the room, taking in all the luxury, the gold and the white. “Kiran raked his claws across her belly so deep it killed her.”
Oh, gods. “Kiran…” Her voice cracked. “Kiran…killed Selene’s mate—one of my foremothers—my…my…past life?”
Wisteria nodded. “Please finish reading.”
Like a puppet jerking her head on a string, Seff continued, now on the front of the fourth page.
Y*our father and I came up with every stupid thing we could think of to keep you off Kiran and Selene’s track. I never told you our last name. We gave you a Lovell name. And yet my pride and loyalty couldn’t bear to leave Magnolia Manor. Even if we moved to your father’s pack, we couldn’t escape the Choosing. It was a Magnolia’s duty.
And it was Zinnia and Calla’s fault. The Alphas only Chose Magnolia Omegas because they’re obsessed with their mates’ features.*
*The bottom line, my Seff, is that I’m trying my best to protect you. I don’t know when you’ll read this, but know I’ll be proud of the wolf you are. I know I can be strict, and I blame it on my mother, but it’s only because I love you.*
*And if the theory is right and you remember Zinnia or Calla’s memories, please PLEASE don’t fall in love with either of them. Get as far away as you can from those harems. Gods forbid you go to either of them in the first place. I want you to live free from the shackles our family put us in the moment we knew how to write.
Keep close to Allium and Hawthorn. Right now you’re only ten years old, but I know you’ll be friends for a very long time.*
*Don’t lose this key. Unlock the box and read only what you can handle. DO NOT let Kiran Cyrus or Selene Hilal read ANYTHING*.
*The records are the Amaranth daughters’ only legacy. No one remembers we were a founding family. It’s just the two of us and we have nothing left but each other (and your father and brothers).*
*So, only if you want to, you can burn it all.*
*Love, your mama, Linden Amaranth*