Chapter 12: Maybe, Not Ever

Tamia, 4:34 P.M.

"Hello?" I said angrily into the phone.

"Tamia?" asked the familiar voice on the other end. "What's wrong?"

It was Jason. The one person I wanted to talk to just called me out of the blue.

"How do you know something's wrong?" I asked. How did he know that something was wrong? Was he somehow aware of what had just happened between me and Watson?

"I can tell by your voice," he said, "but I did have this sudden urge to call you. I wasn't sure if it was I good time, but I just called anyway. Something tells me I called at the perfect time."

I smiled. He did sense that something was wrong, so I told him everything.

"I'm coming down there," Jason said as soon as I finished.

"What?" I asked. I was only hoping that he'd want to stay on the phone with me all night--- maybe even video chat. But I did not expect him to want to come to San Diego.

"I'm coming," he repeated.

"Jason, you can't," I said. "It's like a two-hour drive. And it's almost 5 P.M. so you're gonna get stuck in traffic."

"I can be there in an hour," he said.

"How?" I asked.

It's a one-hour flight from LA to San Diego," he replied.

"You're gonna fly down here?" I asked. "For me?"

"You are still my best friend," he replied.

Only Jason's words could bring me comfort and wound me at the same time. I was glad to hear that I was still his best friend even though we haven't really seen in other, but it was just another reminder that that's all we were.

"Right?" Jason asked.

I couldn't help but smile. "Right," I said. "Alright, come on. I'll even show you around."




Jason, 5:47 P.M.

It was close to 6 P.M. on a Wednesday evening, and I found myself in San Diego. I was still regretting my decision to start dating Abi, so I broke it off with her earlier this week. She did not take it too well because she quit as our choreographer. Maybe it was for the best, but Caiden and Raymond were pissed at me. So I spent the last two days to myself, either locked in my room or in the studio, writing music. By this time I was content with my decision, but I just had to talk to Tamia... maybe even see her? And here I was.

I didn't tell my brothers or father where I was going, but I did tell my mother. So I hopped on a jet with my favorite bodyguard, Braden— who was more like a father figure to me than my actual father, but that's another story for another day.

"You must really like this girl," Braden said to me as he was driving me to the Cal Southern campus in the rental car.

I smiled to myself. My first reaction was to deny it, but Braden was one of few people that I couldn't fool. "I do," I admitted, "but I don't think we could ever be together."

"Why not?" asked Braden.

"Because we live in two different worlds," I replied. "When I told her I was coming to see her, she didn't realize how easy it would be for me to hop on a flight and come here."

"But she will understand why you're wearing a disguise right now," Braden said.

"That's just it," I replied. "I have to wear a disguise almost every time I go out. I'm always either on tour or doing something else for my career while she's in college studying psychology."

"I think she's good enough for you," Braden said, "no matter what your father thinks."

"I know," I said, "but sometimes I think I'm not good enough for her.




Tamia, 6:17 P.M.

I was still in my room, waiting for Jason to text me. I was assuming that I'd have to pick him up from the airport, which I could do since my parents gifted me a car for Christmas. It was a used red Volkswagen Beetle convertible, but it was still a car and it was cute. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door— my room door, not the door to my apartment-dorm— and I jump up to open it. It was Taja.

"There's a guy here to see you," she said, smiling.

My first thought was, Did Jason really just show up at my door? And he did, but he was disguised so Taja didn't recognize him.

"Hi," Jason said.

"Hi," I said back to him, just as awkwardly and we started laughing. We instantly fell back into what we had before, and it felt just like old times.

An hour later, we were still lying on— not in— my bed talking.

"So you just hopped on a jet," I said, "that you just so happen to own, to come and see me."

"I told you," Jason said laughing, "yes!"

"And you couldn't have done this sooner?" I asked, joking. "But seriously, I don't think your girlfriend would be happy to know that you're here with me right now."

"Oh yeah, about that..." Jason started... "we broke up— well, I broke up with her."

My jaw dropped. I was trying not to show my excitement, so as sincerely as I possibly could, I said, "Oh no, what happened?"

"That was terrible," Jason laughed.

"What?" I asked. At this point I could no longer hold in my laughter.

"I know you're happy to hear that me and Abi are over," Jason said. "I mean, I could tell you didn't really like her, but I know that's because she didn't like you."

"Was it that obvious?" I laughed. I wasn't sure if I referring to me being relieved that they'd broken up or that it was obvious that Abi didn't like me. I guess both were blatantly obvious.

"I promise that my next girlfriend will like you," Jason continued.

My heart sank. He already had his eye on another girl? I guess I shouldn't be too upset. Again, I was the one who said we'd be better off as friends. But I had to put up a brave front.

"How can you be so sure of that?" I asked after swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Trust me," Jason answered. "I mean, what's not to like?"

*Yeah*, I thought, *tell that to every other girl you've dated*. I guess I was going to have to get used to the idea of us not being together in the way I wanted right now... and maybe, not ever.