31

Cadence
The condo is too quiet when they leave.
I try yoga.

I have a shower.
I make myself a tea and take my book out to the balcony overlooking the beach, but even the distant sound of the waves isn’t enough.
I don’t even have a phone to play music.
I don’t remember the last time I had a day with nothing to do. My to-do list is long and involved and there’s no way I will ever get to the bottom of it. Not that I want to, because work is my world.
It’s always been like that. When I started dancing, when I finally had a place of my own, the first thing I did was get my GED, and after that, college courses on anything from business to website coding to the philosophy of sexuality.
When I started charging men for more than private dances, I was always thinking of creating something with the other dancers as a way to stop relying on Paolo and the bouncers to find clients.
When Paolo was killed, I started looking at buying the club.
I’ve had a never-ending to-do list, a plan of making the most out of every opportunity. I see positives when others would have curled up in a ball. I should be looking at this weekend as time to regroup and recharge, because I never get that opportunity.
I should be with Max, trying to find out more about Moon’s bid for Tingel Island.
When they invited me to go with them, I was tempted for a brief moment. But a flash of what happened the last time I was on a boat stopped me cold. The memory of those men jumping into the icy-cold lake to rescue one of their friends has prevented me from visiting the island, but I’m going to have to get over that soon.
Also, seeing the boys together. They would have fun together. They needed to be together.
They didn’t need me. I wouldn’t have fun.
The boys—and I can’t stop thinking of them as boys—are puppies. All three of them are puppies and I’m a cat. One of those pretentious, naked cats who look down their noses at the rest of the world.
But I was still tempted to go with them, and I really wish I did because I have no idea what to do with myself.
Not stay indoors, that’s for sure. The condo is beautiful, but the world’s best beach is right outside. I push up from the table and go to put on my bathing suit.
Ten minutes later, wearing a black bikini under my cover-up, skin slathered with fifty proof sunscreen, I step onto the beach.
Warm, white sand, with umbrellas and lounge chairs waiting in polite lines. The water is bright blue with white-capped waves rolling in.
More like crashing—the wind whips my hair and creates bigger waves than I expected. A few people have ventured in the water, but most walk along the sand, keeping a healthy distance so they won’t get splashed by the waves.
A few birds, boats in the distance, and empty lounge chairs make it as close to perfect as I’ll ever get. Just stepping onto the sand seems to release the tension in my shoulders that’s been building since I found out about Novi.
He might not approve of me being here, but for the first time, I couldn’t give a shit.
I couldn’t give two shits.
Throwing my towel and book onto a chair, I start walking with a smile on my face. Novi will never again be able to dictate what I do. He’ll never get a say in my plans.
Yes, he’s gone, and the willingness to advise and encouragement he always showed me is gone as well, but being here, getting some distance from it all, I can start to see the relationship for what it was.
Not a great one.
But that’s over now. And a weekend away with Maximilian Stonee should prove to Preston that I had nothing to do with Novi’s death.
It’s not the worst place to hide out.

I’ve been to the Caribbean before: I had a memorable two days in Grand Cayman with the president of a bank once. Memorable for him, at least.
I’ve been to Mexico twice. Again, with clients.
Being an extremely well-paid escort meant that my clients often had more money than they knew what to do with and liked to spend it on me. Trips and jewelry and clothes.
Which is why I didn’t like Max buying me the dress.

Most of the clothes were low cut and revealing. They liked to show me off, and I went with it because they paid the bills. But when I finished with that life, those clothes were the first to go.
Maybe that’s why I dress so conservatively now. Even the bikini covers more than the essentials—high-waisted and high-cut, with a top that goes for coverage and functionality rather than fashion.
It’s like I’m trying to turn off Max.
Maybe not, but he doesn’t need any encouragement.
That’s not a bad thing. He’s a nice man, but the problem is that I don’t know many nice men, so I don’t know what to do with them. I don’t know how to be myself—other than the Cadence who will take care of your every need.
Max seems like he wants to take care of my needs, and that’s such a foreign concept that it makes me more nervous than I need to be. It makes me—
“Hey, beautiful.”
I ignore the call and keep walking.
“Hey!”
Someone really is persistent.
“Cadence!”
I turn to see Max loping toward me, and I swear, the crack that starts in my heart is like an ice cube breaking.
Why? It’s only Max.
Ha came back.
“What’s wrong?” I call to him. “I thought you were in a boat.”
He shakes his head as he comes up to me. And that smile. “No boat. Not for me anyway. I thought I’d hang with you instead.”
I can only blink with astonishment. “But your friends…”
“Are perfectly happy without me to nag them about wearing a swim belt.”
“Like a life preserver?”
“Naw, just a floaty belt. Nick went after a turtle the first time we went out and had to be towed back by the captain. I’ve never let him forget it.”
“But he’s…”
“He was nineteen at the time.”
“Ah. You’ve known them a long time.”
“Feels like my whole life. But I don’t want to talk about them. How was your book?”
“I couldn’t get into it,” I confess. “It’s kind of driving me crazy not having my laptop. Or even my phone.”
He laughs. “I did peg you for a bit of a control freak.”

A laugh bubbles up. “I guess I am.”
“You’ve got a pretty laugh.”
“Thank you.”
“Where are we walking?”

“I… I don’t know. I just thought I’d walk. It’s so beautiful here.”
“It is.” But the way he continues to look at me makes me think he’s not talking about the beach or the water.
I’ve been called beautiful my entire life, but when Max looks at me like that… I drop my gaze to the sand, where my purple-painted toes disappear under a wave.
“Cadence?”
I look up at Max’s intent stare. “Mm hm?”
“Can I ask you something?” I nod. “Are you shy?”
“Shy?”
“Yeah, you know—a slightly introverted person who likes to spend time alone and doing alone things, like reading, and doesn’t always like to talk to people.”
I stare off into the water and think about my answer. “I’m not sure I’ve ever let myself be shy, but it definitely sounds like me.”
“You’re an intriguing woman, Cadence Quiler.”
“You’re going to have to be a tolerant man to get to know me, Maximilian Stonee.”