21

Slowly, she broke their hug and when he stared at her, she weakly closed her eyes, “I’m sleepy,” she uttered, feeling the way the blood wasn’t oozing out anymore.

It was as if what she said had reminded him of their situation, he cupped her face and stared deeply into her eyes, “Where should I take you to? Can I take you back to your mother?” He asked tenderly and she shook her head lightly at him.

“She’ll kill you, Lorcán. She can’t know you’re here...” With each word she had uttered, she was getting weaker and she wanted nothing but to sleep, in his arms, until her eyes are tired of sleeping. She didn't mind about what had happened or the brutal act that nearly happened, she wanted him and that was what she was going to get.

“Where do I take you then? I don't mind even if she’s going to kill me, Aranya. I have to make sure you’re safe, that’s what’s the most important thing as of now.”

“There’s a cave...” She closed her eyes, regaining al the strength left in her before she told him where the cave was. She had never thought that a day would come when she would go to that cave, not alone, but with someone. And that someone had to be Lorcán, which she was so glad of.

Within the blink of an eye, they disappeared and reappeared in front of the cave, with Lorcán holding her firmly into his arms. He walked into the cave and the door immediately opened, sensing her breath. She was the only one that could access the car and now him. It was a suite, fully furnished and when Lorcán laid her down on the bed, she lifted her eyes weakly at him.

“You have to be safe, Lorcán, please. Don’t let her see you, don’t set your feet...” He placed his index finger on her lips and smiled softly.

“You don’t have to bother, okay? I won’t step away from you, I'll be safe, Aranya, you just need to rest for now.” She barely nodded her head before sleep overtook her soul and he sat there beside her on the bed with his hands firmly holding hers as she slept.

He couldn’t believe what was happening to him, how he was acting or what his feeling for her had made of him. He was just staring at her and when his eyes wandered down to her bleeding stomach, he figured he had to heal her wound. He shifted away from her and folded his two fingers before he aimed at her stomach and watched as his magical powers slowly began to heal her and when he was done, he realized that nothing could heal the wound on her heart, it had to heal on its own.

Was this the point at which she was powerful and only her and her mother could hurt her? He wanted to free his mind of all the thoughts that were trying to bring him down, not knowing what he had to do, he stood up and moved to the kitchen. It wasn’t a fully covered and while he cooked, he could watch her peacefully sleeping as he moved the duvet over her chest, she was beautiful, even in pain.

He thought of Dûsan and wondered what he would have felt about all this. Would he have preferred that he took his revenge on her and left her there to die? Or he would rather he saved her like he did? Because he loved her to so much to hold a grudge on her for taking his life?

Dropping the knife he was using, Lorcán rubbed his hand over his eyes and sighed, he didn’t know what to do. He was feeling extremely guilty for what he did, for saving the woman that was responsible for taking his brother’s life, but then his heart. He was certain that what he felt when he thought she would be dead, if he had left her that way without saving, he would live with the grief for eternity. Dûsan would understand, he spoke silently, trying all he could to console himself. He was sure he would forgive her and understand that he had to do what he did. At least he did try to kill her, right?

•

Aranya began to open her eyes and she squeezed them lightly, when she tried to breath heavily, the pain that surged through her heart was what reminded her of what had happened and she wondered if everything was real or a painful dream. Which she didn't know what she would choose, to wake up from it and leave Lorcán behind or stay in the dream and face whatever it was he had come to her with?

She sighed and began to open her eyes slowly until she placed them on his face, he was sleeping beside her, with his hands firmly holding her to himself. She smiled, but the pain was there, she realized. Not the physical pain he had inflicted on her, but the one that surged through her heart at the realization of what he did. He wanted to kill her, but for what? She thought he liked her? Or was he angry at the way she had left that he had to track her down to Zinambra and kill her for making a fool of him and marrying someone other than him?

Jaromir. The moment she thought of him, she quickly brushed his thought away from her heart, it was done, she had nothing more to do and she didn't feel guilty about it. Her eyes softly wandered at his face, the subtleness and masculinity of his face. He looked worried, judging to the worry lines on his forehead and he looked scared, she didn’t know why though. He was powerful enough not to be scared even though she knew that if they were going to fight with Betla, defeating him will be the easiest thing for her.

She tried to sit up when he held onto her and his eyes lazily opened. “Where are you going to?” He asked, and it was as if he didn’t register everything into his brain. When he realized what was in front of him he quickly sat upright and held her hands, “Are you alright? God, I thought something was wrong with you, Aranya.” He pulled her to his chest and hugged her, slowly tapping his hand on her back.

Aranya smiled and hugged him back, she rested her head on his shoulder and realized this was the place she had been longing to be. She had been yearning to be in his arms, to be firmly held by him and her wish had finally been fulfilled. He broke their hug, and when she tried to smile at him, she didn't fail this time, she did smile. Even though not as brightly as she would have, if she was not sick.

“Are you alright? You’ve been asleep for two days, Aranya” He asked, and she nodded her head at him.

“I'm alright, just that...” She let her words trailed, not realizing how he knew of her real name because she was sure she had never told someone her name. To seal her astonishment, her fingers softly touched the hole her hairpin made on her chest, right into her heart and she looked up at him, “It pains here, not a lot though, I would be fine in a few days. And my stomach,” she quickly placed her hand on her stomach and she felt nothing, as though nothing had ever happened, as though he had never tried to kill her. “You’ve healed me.” It was more of a fact than a question and he nodded his head.

“I realized I couldn’t heal the wound in your heart later on.” He spoke and took his eyes away from hers. She didn’t know why he did what he did, but she could see the way he was battling with himself to act as nothing nothing had happened. But they can not pretend forever, right? And for them to act normally, this would have to be spoken about.

She sighed, palmed her face and braced herself for the worst. “Why?” She whispered dainty, audible enough for his ears only. Through a hole in the cave, she stared at the forest they were in and realized it was still dark and Zinambra was as scary and cold as it had always been. He said she hadn't woke up for two days, right? How did he live? Did Betla noticed there was an intruder in Zinambra? How did he even find the entrance? And Zartan, how did he let him in?

She slowly lifted her eyes to him and when their eyes met, Lorcán realized she was waiting for an answer from him. Even though she was the one that had to explain to him why she did what she did to his brother that did nothing but loved her, he knew she had to know why he wanted to kill. And maybe if he could, why he didn’t let her die the way he had initially planned it.

“Dûsan, he’s my brother.” From the way her eyes dilated and the way she shifted away from him, Lorcán knew he didn’t have say anything further. She knew, she realized who he was talking about and she realized why he did what he did.

She began to shake her head, she couldn’t believe it. Why hadn’t she realized that from the first day she had seen him? The resemblance, oh god, the resemblance. She palmed her lips and stared longer at his face, even though elves looked somewhat the same, but the way they looked alike had to be blood related. The softness, Lorcán might be a bit tough and he was undoubtedly more powerful than Dûsan, but they were both soft. When they smiled...

“Oh god...” She whispered and palmed her face, not being able to look into his eyes. The explained it, the howl she did in Elara, she did that once, the day she had kissed Dûsan. Dûsan was the only man she felt guilty for a very long time after she had killed him. “I'm sorry,” it was barely a whisper, and she didn’t know why she felt the urge to apologize, she was having mixed feelings at the moment.

Lorcán stared at the way she was grief-stricken and lifted her chin to face him, he tried to smile but blatantly failed. “I don't know why you did what you did or why you’re still hunting for powerful men and killing them, Aranya. It can be your mother, hell, it can even be you, I don’t care.” He sighed, this was harder than he thought it would ever be. “Dûsan loved you, he wanted to protect you for the rest of his life, he wanted to be your family, stay with you, and it wouldn’t be surprising if he would be brought back to life and asked, I'm sure he would say he would be willing to die for you.”

She still wasn’t looking into his eyes, knowing that Lorcán was Dûsan’s elder brother whom he talked so much about was enough to make her sad for a few years, “He loved you a lot. He talks about you everyday, he told me that after we got married, you’ll be the first person we will visit before we leave to tour the world. He wanted to give you this huge hug....” She widened her hands to show him, just like Dûsan always showed her whenever they spoke about his brother. She felt as tears choked her throat and before she was able to control herself, they burst out of her eye sockets.

Lorcán stared at her while she silently cried, and from the way she acted one could easily tell she had never cried, or maybe, since she knew herself not as a child anymore. It was uncomfortable, crying and when she looked up at him with her wet eyes she spoke, “Don’t stare at me, I'm sure I look ugly when I cry.”

Swiftly, he turned off the lights in the cave and it was so dark. “You weren’t ugly, but I could see that you’ve been holding a lot of things in your heart, cry them all out, okay?” She fell into his chest and broke into tears. Dûsan, Jaromir, there were lots of them. Bunch of amazing men that even though she wouldn’t take any of them as her lovers, she would have had amazing friends that would truly love her. And knowing the way they all died, the way she had killed them, that brought even more tears to her cheeks and Lorcán wrapped his hands around her as he silently rocked them.