The Anatomy of a Breakdown

Anton’s POV
“Craaash!” “Bamm!” “Craasshhh!”

I was smashing and hurling everything I could hold. Alda and Jenkins stood frozen at the threshold of the living room. They couldn’t dare to enter.

I seized a vase from the mantelpiece and hurled it against the wall, where it exploded into fragments. That vase alone was worth more than what she asked.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

I sank to my knees, my hands trembling, the silence that followed the raw sound feeling heavier than the noise itself. It was as if the silence was pressuring my eardrums.

It wasn’t about the money. It wasn’t about being unable to give her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. I could lay the planet before her. I could make the pavements she walks on gold if she liked. I could buy her houses, boats, planes, damn it. But she had to say she would leave? That I wouldn't see her face again? Why would I want that? If giving her this money meant she would go away from my side, I would never do that. I cannot. I CAN NOT!

I was feeling addicted. To her presence, to her scent, to her sass. Everything about her was custom-made for me. How could I let her go? But I acted recklessly. I should have given the money and found another way to keep her by my side. I panicked. I never panic. I am a businessman. I do million-dollar deals every day without blinking. But when it came to her, it was more than that. It was life itself. I lost my temper. I lost her trust. She came to me. ME! When she was in need. She came to me. What did I do? I turned her away.

Alda came closer and sat down next to me. She seized my trembling hands with her old, wrinkled hands. She had been my maid and my nanny long before this. She knew everything about me. At this moment, she was the only person who could dare to come close to me.

“Cos'è successo, figliolo? (What happened, my son?)” “I turned her away.” “For what?” “She asked for money, and I turned her away.” “Why?” “Because she said she would leave if I gave her the money, and that I would never see her again.”

She patted gently on my hand and smiled.

“Oh mio figlio, you fell in love?”

“... No. I am not in love.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” she smiled again.

“Don’t mock me, Alda. I am not in the mood.”

“I can tell that too. Look, I’ve known you since you were in diapers. I’ve never seen you throw a tantrum over a girl. Matt? A million times. He always had girl issues. But you? Never. Until now.”

“Tantrum? I never throw a tantrum.”

“You trashed the whole living room per l'amor di Dio. And I will be the one who cleans that. You are too old to lie to yourself, tesoro. You must be honest with yourself, first.”

“What should I do, Alda?” 

“It is never too late to apologize.” 

“I don’t apologize.” 

“Everything has a first, mio figlio.” Then she calmly got up and started collecting the things thrown everywhere.

I went to my room and threw myself into the shower. I needed to calm down. Think better. The only tool I had sharpened through the years, which let me to grasp everything I wanted so far, was my mind. I needed to calm my mind, and answers would snap into place.

While cold water glided over my overheated body, my consciousness started coming back to me. Alda was right. I could have apologized. And given her the money she needed. And that would be it. And in return, I could ask her to work to earn the money back. So, she had to stay. She couldn't leave. I can do this. I should do this.

I jumped out of the shower. I could still fix this. I hurried to my walk-in closet and changed. I had to look perfect. I selected my navy blue suit that I saved for a special occasion. I perfectly styled my hair. Selected my watch and my tie. When I looked at the mirror, I liked what I saw. A man, sharp and determined. I could take her out to a nice place. A midnight date? Why not. But maybe she doesn't have a dress. Of course, she doesn’t. I am paying too little. I must raise her salary. I decided to go to that boutique where I also selected the other dress for her.

When I left my room, Alda was there.

“Are you going then?”

“Yes, thank you, Alda.”

She smiled and caught a small thread from my suit.

“You look good. Good luck.”

I left the house quickly and jumped into my Rolls-Royce. Next station was the boutique. The moment I entered the boutique, all personnel were already waiting for me. Normally they are not working at this hour. But for me, there was no such thing as a 'no' in the world.

We swiftly scanned the shelves and I selected a short pink dress, which would show off her beautiful legs and define her curves. And the owner of the boutique helped me to complete the dress with shoes and a bag. All set.

Then there was only one thing left. An apology gift. If I should do it, I would do it right. I went to our jewelry store, which belongs to Alonzo Corporate, and selected a good diamond necklace for her.

Now I was ready to go to her place.

When I pulled up in front of her building, my heart was pounding so crazily, it was even visible from my shirt. Could this be really it? No, I shouldn’t even think about this.

I climbed the stairs two-three steps at a time. When I reached to her door, I was hardly breathing. I let myself cool downfor a second or two. Then gathered all my courage and knocked on her door.

Nothing…

I knocked on her door again.

“Alice… This is me. Anton.” I said to the closed door.

Then I heard some footsteps. She was coming. I put the dress bag next to the door, fixed my tie, combed my hair back with my hand. Then the door opened.

It was… Matt.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

She couldn’t have him in. We had a deal with her. She should have stayed away from him.

“What does it look like?” he asked. Then he took a step back and revealed the scene behind him. It was Alice. Sleeping on the sofa, in only lingerie. Does this mean? No! No, no no.

“What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything without consent,” he winked. “But I tired her out, I can say.”

I couldn’t process what I was experiencing now. Couldn’t react. I just stood there confused, looking between Matt and the unconscious Alice. Did he do something to her, drugged her?

I was about to pounce on him and beat the crap out of him. He saw the rage on my face and chose to poke it further.

“Tsk, tsk, poor little Antonio. Look at this disappointed face. Oh, you also bought her a present? I can get it to her,” he extended his hand to the boutique bag I placed next to the door. Next thing I know I was holding the collar of his shirt and banging my fist onto his jaw. He didn’t do anything, he didn’t fight back, he only laughed between the punches. Until I saw a red line of blood oozing from the corner of his mouth, but the bastard was still smiling. When I managed to stop myself and throw him back to the wall, his face was in an unrecognizable condition. His cheek already started swelling, a purple patch started growing from the top of his nose to under his eye. But he was still smiling with bloody teeth.

“What the hell! Are you crazy?”

“You know Anton, all this time I have done countless things to get under your skin. None of those worked. You never grew any emotion towards me rather than a distant annoyance and repulsion. But this time, this time you raged, actually raged. Not like the other times you pretended. Who would have known a small piece of pussy would bring you down to your knees?”

“Stop talking trash about her or I will—”

“What? You kill me? I’d rather that than your indifference.”

“What is wrong with you, Matt? Where is all this nonsense coming from?”

“From the place I hid for many years, Anton. All these years I was a shadow around you. I waited for you to realize me again, love me again like you did when we were kids. When we were kids, you were my hero and I was your little brother. But after mom left, you started burying yourself in perfection. Your grades, your education, your success became the only thing you cared for. You left me behind, Anton, left me alone. No matter how hard I tried, first to be like you, then to be the opposite of you. Just to catch your attention again. But now, the little bitch sleeping inside is the only thing that matters for you.”

“Watch your mouth.”

“Or what? You beat me?” he touched sarcastically the blood oozing down from his mouth.

“But guess what, Anton? She is mine now. I have taken the only thing you cared for after all these years. I have taken her, rode her like a damn slut all night. And she obeyed all of my desires willingly. You should have seen what a slut she was.”

“STOP IT! NOW!”

He sneered.

“Look at you… Big, unreachable Anton Alonzo, cannot stand to lose a girl. This conversation is over Anton. Now get out of here.”

He turned to the door again. I held his arm. I didn’t know what I should say, but I couldn’t let him go like that. But he shook off my hand. “Good night, Antonio,” he said mockingly and closed the door behind. I stayed there looking at the door, unable to process what just had happened now.

My own brother betrayed me. The only woman I cared about more than anything after all these years chose my brother over me.

I cannot remember how I got back to the car. But I only remember I hardly found my cell phone and called my attorney.

“Mark?”

“Yes, sir?” he answered in a sleepy tone.

“Were you sleeping?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Not anymore. Meet me in thirty minutes at my house. There is a contract I want you to finalize until morning…”

You wanted recognition, Matt? You will get what you want as my enemies did.

Both of you will…