Chapter 20

“Decebel,” Cynthia’s voice came through the door.
Jen struggled to sit up, but he gently pushed her back down.
“Hey, just cause I said you could touch me again does not mean you get to push me around,” Jen snapped at him.
“Yes, it does,” he told her as he walked towards the door. He pulled it open to see a very tired Cynthia Steele standing before him.
“I know you guys want to be alone, but I really need to check on Jen and the baby.”
Decebel opened the door wider and stepped aside so that she could walk through. She walked over to the bed where Jen lay.
“How are you feeling?” Cynthia asked, with a sympathetic smile.
Jen shrugged. “Well if you would like me to be honest, I feel like someone who has been beaten, taken against her will, given herself to the wrong man, lost her baby, screamed at the man she loved, and cried for things that hadn’t really happened.”
“Jennifer,” Decebel growled from the other side of the bed.
“Basically, I feel like crap doc,” Jen finished, without acknowledging her mate. He sat down on the bed next to her and took her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently.
Jen refused to look at him, she knew that if she did she would lose it and she wasn’t ready to lose it just yet.
“I need to listen to the baby for a minute and check your vitals okay?” Cynthia asked.
Jen nodded.
Cynthia pulled Jen’s shirt up to expose her abdomen and saw that she was beginning to show.
“When did this happen?” She asked.
Jen looked down at her stomach and saw the small hump.
“It wasn’t like that a week ago,” Jen told her.
Cynthia gently probed her stomach and then laid her head against it. She closed her eyes and listened for the fast flutter that would indicate that the baby was doing well. It didn’t take long before she heard it. She smiled as she listened. It was a strong heartbeat, a healthy heartbeat. Cynthia clenched her eyes tight as she thought about the fate of the little being with the strong heartbeat, a fate she didn’t deserve.
She lifted her head and smiled at Decebel and Jen. “She’s doing good. I’m going to do some research on the gestation of wolves, it’s been a long time since I’ve been around a pregnant Canis lupus, but I’m pretty sure the gestation is not the same as a human.”
Jen nodded as she pulled her shirt down.
“The Fates said they would take her in nine months’ time,” Jen pointed out.
Cynthia thought about it. She wondered if the Fates were jerking Jen’s chain. Surely, they wouldn’t allow her to have the child and watch her grow only to then die, in such a short time.
“With the Fates, anything is possible. I’ll look into it. It may just be that the baby will be bigger than a regular human child.”
Jen frowned. “That would not be cool.”
Cynthia got out the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope and checked Jen’s heartbeat and blood pressure, both of which were normal.
“Now, this might be uncomfortable,” she looked up at Decebel. “You might want to step out.”
Decebel’s eyes began to glow. “I’m not leaving her.”
“Dec, babe, calm down,” Jen told him, as she squeezed his hand.
“I need to do a pelvic exam, Jen,” Cynthia told her.
“Doc, I know you must know about the birds and the bees, but in case you need a refresher, Dec had to have seen all this in order for me to end up in this particular situation.”
Cynthia chuckled. “Some wives aren’t comfortable having a pelvic exam done in front of their spouses.”
“Mate,” Decebel snarled.
Jen rolled her eyes. “He’s a tad touchy right now.”
Cynthia leaned over to help Jen remove the sweatpants that she had put on her before the curse had been broken, but Decebel gently pushed her hands away.
“I’ve got it,” he told her.
“What is your problem?” Jen asked as he helped her remove the pants. He quickly covered her with a sheet and gently rubbed her stomach.
“Leave it alone, Jennifer,” Decebel said, not unkindly.
Cynthia did the exam as quickly and efficiently as possible, keeping it all very clinical. Decebel stared at Jen’s face the entire time and twice leaned down to gently kiss her.
“Okay,” Cynthia said, as she pulled off the medical gloves that she had donned and threw them in the trashcan next to the bed. “Everything looks good.”
Jen snorted. “Seriously, nothing in that area ever looks good.”
Cynthia laughed, a genuine sound and a much-needed release. “Okay, I can agree with that, I guess I should say everything is as it should be.”
Jen nodded. “Better choice of words.”
Cynthia packed up her stuff and turned to go. Just before she opened the door, she turned back and looked at Jen, avoiding Decebel’s gaze. “Just in case you were wondering, it is alright for you to be intimate.”
Jen grinned. “Are you telling me I can get it on like Donkey Kong?”
Cynthia let out a chuckle. “Hmmm, maybe not like Donkey Kong. Why don’t you stick to Curious George just to be on the safe side?” With that, she opened the door and closed it quietly behind her.

The smile faded from Jen’s face as soon as Cynthia was gone. She couldn’t look at her mate. The thin thread by which she had been hanging was about to snap and she knew that he had been through enough already. She bit her lip in an attempt to hold herself together and turned her head away from him.
“Jennifer,” Decebel reached over and gently pulled her chin so that she was looking directly at him.
“Baby, talk to me.”
“How did you survive so long?” She asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean in the In-Between,” he flinched, as she spoke of the hell he had been in. “How did you survive watching all of those things for so long?”
“I just kept telling myself that it wasn’t real.” He stretched out beside her and propped up his head on one elbow.
“I tried to tell myself that. I tried Dec, but it felt…” Jen closed her mouth against the bile that she felt rising.
“Shh, baby, it wasn’t real, none of that happened.” Decebel rested his hand on the small swell of her stomach. “This is real,” he told her as he gently rubbed her, “my touch, our love, our baby, all of this is real.”
Jen was nodding, though the tears had begun to fall. Decebel reached over and pulled her into his arms. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m not letting go.”
Decebel struggled to keep his rage contained as he felt the strongest woman he had ever met, fall apart in his arms. He didn’t try to get her to talk. He didn’t ask her how he could help, he just held her, and if that was all she ever wanted from him ever again, it would be enough.
“Not for me it wouldn’t,” Jen told, him through their bond. “Make me forget Dec.”
Decebel pulled back so that he could look into her blue eyes.
“It’s too soon Jennifer, give yourself time.” He gently brushed her hair from her face and kissed her forehead.
“Have I ever let you get away with telling me what I needed?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m telling you that I need you. I keep seeing and feeling those faces, those hands,” Jen let out a choked sob as she stared up into his amber eyes. “Don’t make me beg.”
Decebel sucked in a breath as he saw the fear in her eyes. Fear that he would reject her, fear that he would be disgusted by her, fear that he would no longer want her.
Decebel growled at her as he leaned down. His lips caressed her face gently until they hovered just above hers. “You never have to beg. I’m yours and I will always give you what you need. What do you need baby?” His lips brushed against hers as he spoke. “Tell me what you need Jennifer and it’s yours.”
Jen trembled as she felt his hand slip under her shirt. He stroked her abdomen and then trailed his fingers up the side of her body tracing her markings.
“You,” she breathed out, softly.
He pulled back to take his shirt off and grinned at her when her eyes widened.
“Does that mean I still do it for you?”
Jen smiled through the tears as she nodded. Decebel helped her remove her shirt and then pulled her body tight against his. He kissed her deeply and growled when she ran her fingers through his thick, dark hair.
“I love you, Jennifer,” he told her over and over as his hands roamed and his lips followed. “You are mine. Every inch of you, every strand of hair, every soft moan, every beat of your heart, belongs to me.”
Jen’s heart swelled with love as she listened to his words and then felt the truth behind them with every kiss and touch.
“Baby, open your eyes.”
Jen opened them to see him hovering over her. He kissed her cheeks, her nose, and across her jaw before kissing her softly on the lips.
“Keep your eyes open,” he whispered. “I want you to see who is with you, and who is touching you, who is loving you.”
“Okay,” she told him, softly. And she did. And, they were still open long into the night when he lay beside her watching his fingers as they traveled up and down the markings that ran from her hip to under her arm.
“Are you okay?” Jen asked him.
He looked up from his hand to meet her eyes. “As long as you’re with me, I’m okay. Are you? Did I hurt you?” He laid his hand across her abdomen as he asked.
Jen shook her head. “You didn’t hurt me.” She placed her hand over his, loving the warmth she felt from his skin. Her eyes felt heavy though she tried to hold them open.
Decebel chuckled. “You can close them now, beautiful.”
Jen growled at him.
“Don’t go starting something you can’t finish,” he teased.
Jen felt something inside her loosen at his teasing. It was right. They had grieved, they had held each other, made love, and now they just needed to be together, doing what they did best.
“Crap, for a minute there with all the tender loving and what not, I forgot that I was mated to a perv.” Her eyes sparkled with laughter.
“Oh, we can’t have you forgetting something so important.” He grabbed at her playfully. “Come here and let me remind you.”
Laughter filled their room, where once tears had been, as Jen let Decebel heal her heart over and over. Bit by bit he reminded her who he was, and who she was to him.

***

Fane closed their door and turned the lock. After finally getting her to invite his touch, he helped Jacque undress and into the shower as silent tears slid from her eyes. He had tried to get her to lie down, but she kept insisting that she needed to get clean, that she felt dirty. So, he helped her shower and then dried her off and carried her to their bed. He climbed in next her, pulled the covers up over them, and enveloped her in his arms.
Jacque wrapped her body around Fane’s, seeking the heat from his body, needing to feel all of his skin against all of hers. She didn’t realize that she had been whimpering until Fane started speaking to her softly. He smoothly transitioned from English to Romanian and back again, as he attempted to soothe her.
“Luna,” he pulled her face up to look at him. “Tell me what to do. Please, I don’t know what to do.”
Jacque stared into his glowing blue eyes as she felt the beat of his heart against her chest. He wiped the tears gently from her cheeks and kissed her slowly. When he pulled back, he saw that her eyes were glowing as well. “Sing to me,” she whispered.
He brushed the red curls from her face as he stared into her eyes and began to sing the song he had shared with her on the night before his battle with Lucas, and night that now seemed so very long ago. His eyes softened when she ran her fingers across his lips as he sang.
As his rich, deep voice reached into the broken parts of her soul, Jacque grabbed onto his words like a lifeline. She ran her hands across his shoulders and chest, following the touch with her kiss. Fane’s words trembled slightly as she pushed him on his back and laid her body over his. She laid her head on his chest and tried to melt into his touch as he ran the tips of his fingers from her shoulders to the backs of her thighs. She took comfort in the touch that she knew so well. She pushed away her pain and fear and latched onto the feeling of hands that knew her better than she knew herself and a man who loved her more than any other ever could.
The room was quiet when the song ended. Fane continued to caress her skin wherever he could reach and kissed her hair as he breathed in her scent.
“Fane,”
“Yes, love.”
“We’ll get through this,” Jacque made it a statement, needing to hear herself say the words out loud.
“Together,” he agreed.
He rolled her over quickly yet smoothly until she lay beneath him. He stared down into her eyes, as his fingers brushed gently against her jaw. He leaned down, kissed her, and groaned when she yielded to him instantly. Jacque opened her mouth and welcomed the deep kiss as his tongue explored her. She pulled back and smiled at the surprised look on his face.
“You told me touch was healing to wolves, that it brought comfort and security,” she told him.
He nodded.
“I need healing, comfort, and security Fane,” she whispered, against his skin as she kissed his neck, shoulders, and chest in between each word. She pushed his hands, showing him through their bond where she wanted them to be. Fane’s chest rumbled as he felt her need and was surprised when he realized it was every bit as great as his own.
“You need me, my touch, my kiss, my love,” he hovered over her, looking down at her face and body.
There was a time when Jacque would have blushed under his gaze, but not now, not when Fane had shown her just how completely a male loved his female in their world.
“I do,” she agreed.
“Good,” Fane growled, as he lowered his body to hers.
No more words were needed as they clung to one another. Fane met her every need and Jacque took greedily from him, knowing that it pleased him to provide for her in any way, whether it be physical or emotional. She let go completely, knowing that he would always provide for her, always protect her and always love her.
“Always,” she heard him whisper in her mind and felt the certainty of it in his touch as he made love to her.