83

AURORA

“Usually returning to the scene can help jog memories,” I explain softly as Cassian and I walk the gardens a few days later. “But other than returning to the road where I hit you, I’m not sure how much help that would be.”

Cassian nods slowly, keeping pace with me but his head is low and his gaze fixed on the path we walk.

“And,” I add gently. “Given that you were tortured and you’re still recovering, doing anything to recover those kinds of memories before you’re ready could do more damage than we expect. You forgot for a reason and I think, given how the memories haven’t returned yet, we can rule out the car and link it to the trauma.”

“I suppose things will look different,” Cassian says finally. “Since what I do remember is snow, and now we have this.”

The trees around us fight to reclaim their leaves, and green grass stretches as far as the eye can see, weaving between cracked stone walls and trellis.

“That’s true,” I admit. “You escaped through a winter wonderland, not a springtime plain.”

An amicable silence falls. Birds dance and sing around us, gravel crunches underfoot and leaves rustle with the occasional light breeze. It’s peaceful, and from what little I know about Cassian, he probably needs it.

Even though my fantasy of a foursome with him, Lucian, and Orion remains burned into my mind.

Greedy.

“I want to offer my apologies,” Cassian says, breaking the silence.

“For?”

“Letting slip that we were all Bratva. It did not occur to me that it was a secret. Given Lucian’s reputation, I presumed everyone here was part of this.”

“His family’s reputation,” I correct gently.

“Of course.” Cassian nods. He glances across at me, and his gorgeous, thick hair glints like silk in the sun.

“I’m the nanny, so they don’t run important things by me,” I joke softly, waving off his apology. Given the circles they all move in, I can’t blame him.

“Still, they clearly value you greatly and I am sorry if I marred their images in your eyes in any way.” His apology is surprisingly sincere.

“You haven’t,” I reassure him. “I mean, it’s a lot to take in, and I still haven’t quite made my peace with it, but I try to judge people based on what I experience, not what the world tells me.”

Cassian’s smile is full and bright, crinkling the corner of his eyes. “Admirable.”

I brush that off quickly. There’s nothing admirable about any of my actions. “Speaking of family, what about yours? You’d asked after them, I remember. Is there no one who will be missing you?”

Cassian’s smile vanishes, and his gaze fixes on something ahead. “My father is dead. My mother, too, and that was more recent. Things have been a struggle since then because my father’s death was…” Cassian pauses, and his shoulders bunch up. “Many were convinced it was an inside job so distrust ran rampant. My mother’s death was a—a shock, and so the responsibility to keep things together fell to me. I have been doing everything I can to keep our heads above water, including stepping on the toes of your boss.”

Cassian flashes me a smile but it lacks the same warmth as earlier.

“We’ve fallen far but I’ve been trying. It’s difficult to make a name for yourself in a world like this, and even harder to keep a name weighed down by reputation.”

“I can imagine.” Oddly, I wonder if my mother feels the same kind of responsibility there. “Is that what your deal was about? The important feeling you remember? Or some sort of secret that you might have forgotten that led to you being tortured?”

“You think I stepped on the wrong set of toes?” Cassian asks, slowly starting to walk closer to me. “Secrets are what make our world go around.”

“Maybe,” I muse. “It might be the key to finding who took you?—”

Words die in my throat as we turn the corner and Cassian darts forward, suddenly crowding me up against the wall. Stone bricks press into my back and cold moss scrapes against my hands when I press backward. My heart flies in my chest and Cassian places one arm above me, leaning in very close.

“Why didn’t you tell Lucian that I asked for him on the road?”

“What?”

“Lucian was asking why I would come here as if I was lost or had wandered here by mistake. When he asked me that, I realized he didn’t know that I had asked for him. Which means you didn’t tell him. Why?”

My mind falters and my lower lip trembles. Why didn’t I tell Lucian that?

Why?

“I—”

Cassian lifts one brow, and a light smirk dances across his lips. A light, floral scent fills my nose as I breathe him in, and this close I can make out the subtle heart shape of his lips.

“I don’t know,” I answer. “All I heard was ‘Lucian’ and I didn’t make the connection because only Selene calls him that. Plus, I’d just hit you and everything was so hectic, I guess it slipped my mind.” Guilt swarms my chest, so I straighten up from the wall and lift my chin, mildly distracted by how good he smells. “Why, is it important?”

Cassian studies my face for a moment. “You tell me, you’re the memory expert.”

We’re so close, one wrong move and his lips could end up on mine. Does he think the same?

“I think…I think if you remember that, it’s a good sign. Maybe you said his name because you knew where you were.” Keeping my mind focused on that is a struggle with Cassian still so close. “Maybe try and work out why you would come to a man you hate. If we find out what prompted that, maybe we can find out the truth.”

The effects of Cassian being so close linger with me for the rest of the day, not fading even when I persuade Orion to take me shopping. I need a few new clothes, and with spring well on its way, treating Selene is at the top of my list.

The only problem is, Cassian turned me on.

Everything about how he pressed me against the wall, pinned me there with his body and his gaze, and even how he spoke to me was oddly intimate and I can’t get it out of my mind. The more I replay it as we travel from shop to shop, the more my core aches and my body heats up. With no outlet, there’s only irritation at how long I have to wait to get home to satisfy myself while suffering under the annoyance of being so affected by him in the first place.

“Alright,” Orion says eventually as we stride back to the car. “Out with it.”

“With what?” I snap without thinking, not even glancing back at him. It’s not until he doesn’t respond that I finally pause and turn to see that Orion stopped a few feet away, back where I snapped at him. Despite the sun glinting off his sunglasses, I can tell from his stance that he didn’t appreciate that. He stands there, arms crossed and head tilted to the side, not moving.

The signal is clear.

Sighing, I slowly walk back toward him. Stopping a foot away, my heart picks up a little when his head slowly moves to tilt in the other direction.

“Right. Let’s try that again. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.” His tone is sharp and alarm bolts down my spine, followed by the tell-tale prickle of sweat. “You’ve been brisk all afternoon and that’s not like you. You don’t tend to snap at people either so something’s wrong. And if you’re going to lie to me again, I’d prefer you didn’t say anything at all.”

He’s scolding me? I’d be so completely taken aback if it wasn’t turning me on further. Something about the power in his voice and the tilt of his head has me wanting to hear him talk like that more. It’s also probably the longest set of sentences I’ve ever heard him say.

“Well?”

Heat jumps down my arms and I tighten my grips on my bags. Defaulting to it’s really nothing won’t work here.

“You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”

“I’m horny.” Warmth flashes across my cheeks at the confession, but I admit it mostly hoping to shock Orion so we can go home.

“Do you need help?”

“Huh?” Not the reaction I was expecting.

“Do you need help,” he repeats, his tone still firm. “Because if all you need is a good working over, then I’ll be more than happy to help you.”

“Because of my bad attitude, right?”

“No, because I’ve been dreaming about your cunt ever since I first tasted it. So.” Orion straightens up, and my legs tremble. “Do you need help?”

“Yes,” escapes me without much hesitation, surprising myself. I’m so turned on by Cassian, and Orion’s sudden display of dominance isn’t helping. My pussy throbs at the thought of Orion thinking about me in that way, and as he starts to smile I know I made the right decision.

How we made it to the car in one piece is anyone’s guess. By the time Orion throws me down on the back seat and buries underneath my skirt, my panties are soaked and my core twists with anticipation.

“You weren’t kidding,” Orion remarks. He drags his tongue against my soaked panties, pressing against my pussy and licking at my juices like some kind of delicacy. Moaning, I arch off the seat and hurriedly gather my skirt to my waist.

“Please,” I beg breathlessly, “please don’t tease.”

“Are you sure?” Orion lifts his head and slowly licks his hips. “I love teasing.” As he speaks, he slides his thumb over my panties and presses the fabric between my soaked folds. Stroking over my clit, he uses the slight drag of the fabric to toy with me and my heart pounds into my throat.

“Please,” I whimper. “Please, I need you.”

“How can I resist you begging so sweetly?” Orion disappears once more between my thighs, sunglasses discarded somewhere on the front seat.

My left foot rests against the floor while my right hooks around the headrest. Orion wastes no time tugging at my panties, then there’s a sharp click. Lifting my head, I’m just in time to see Orion cut my panties away with his pocketknife and a pulse of lust cascades through me.

That’s fucking hot. Oh my God.

Then Orion slides his hands around my thighs, pulls me an inch closer and buries his face against my pussy with a loud groan.

I reach for him immediately, sliding my fingers into his sleek black hair and tugging sharply. My head tips back against the seat, and my world narrows to the heated pinpoint of Orion’s tongue stroking through my pussy. Switching from long licks of his flat tongue to rapid strokes of his tongue in a pointed tip, he keeps me on edge the entire time. My clit throbs in time to my racing heart, my core clenches rhythmically and my temperature rises.

My T-shirt soaks in a light sheen of sweat, clinging to my skin. My hair sticks to my neck as I toss my head back and forth and the most erotic thing is hearing how Orion is audibly enjoying everything he’s doing. He moans and groans, even whimpers when he focuses on my clit with gentle licks. In between the assault of his tongue and lips, he pulls away and breathes lightly against me, sending tingles of anticipation all the way up my spine. Then he dives back in and thrusts his tongue as deep as he can reach.

It’s a wonder I last as long as I do.

As my orgasm starts to crest, I writhe against the seat with breathless moans but Orion’s iron grasp around my hips prevents me from moving even an inch away from his talented mouth. He holds me in place and focuses all his attention on my clit.

I come hard with my eyes rolling back and my toes curling almost painfully tight within my shoes. Orion drinks me down, licking me through every ripple and clench then he kisses my clit and pulls away.

I open my eyes, and his face swims above me. His warm brown eyes dance with desire and without the sunglasses, the scar across his right eye is on full display.

Smiling lazily, I cup his cheek and he leans down. His damp lips land on mine in a kiss so gentle that it takes me by surprise.

“Better?” he asks, writing his question against my lips.

“Infinitely,” I reply breathlessly.

He’s the perfect distraction, but his attention only further cements a growing conflict in my heart.

I can’t have all three…can I?