CHAPTER 28: SOLVING

Zelfon was speechless after looking at Xcerox. He flinches when Xcerox starts to get near him and glowers at him.

"Why have you never told me any of this?!" He asked in a small yell.

Zelfon could not understand for a moment. Was Xcerox asking about the past or his well-being?

He moved his body to sit and felt a tinge of pain in his head. It seems just like before, the scramble memories were still unable to piece together. The pain was hidden by his expressionless face.

"What now, Xcerox? Clearly, you have never allowed me to explain. Why after seeing me like this that you felt the need to ask? I have nothing to say to you. Please leave."

Zelfon turned paler because of the incoming headache. He didn't want to have a further conversation because it was pointless. It will become worse like always. He knows he was unable to tell Xcerox anything because he can't remember the past.

Moreover, it felt like he did see a boy get killed but the blood and scattered pearls along with the screaming and burning house, everything wasn't clear to him. When he tried to remember, the headache became more severe. It was like his brain automatically shut down the awful memories to protect him.

Xcerox breathes heavily. He pushed his hair back.

'Calm down, Xcerox! Don't provoke him! He is injured!'

Xcerox scolded himself internally. He still takes note of Zelfon's appearance. This was the first time since he had the argument to look at Zelfon clearly.

The latter was sweating and Xcerox could see he was holding his pain silently. He took the chair beside Zelfon's patient bed and sat on it. Zelfon glared at him.

'Did he not understand me or did he like to see me torment? Would he be satisfied then?'

Zelfon slowly gets angry but the headache makes his sight a little blurry. He closed his eyes immediately and let himself fall onto the bed again. He turns his body away from seeing Xcerox.

He won't talk anymore. It's better for him to sleep. A few minutes later…

'Shit! Is he still not going to get out? I can't sleep knowing he was behind me.'

Zelfon cursed silently.

Unbeknownst to him, Xcerox was looking at him with guilt and sorrow. He hated himself for not trying to find out about Zelfon's circumstances in the past. He should have helped Zelfon and stayed by his side while believing in the latter.

Isn't Zelfon his best friend too? How could he have ignored his friend's pain and added more to it when the latter might need him the most?

When Zelfon didn't talk to him, he was reminiscing about the wrong assumption and mistakes he had made in the past until now. He was cruel and more to a demon instead of a human.

Xcerox cupped his face and another set of tears fell down his cheeks. He was unable to ask for forgiveness and when he wanted to apologise, the words were unable to let out from his lips. It was the reason there was a silent moment for both of them.

Zelfon's eyes open once more and he stares at the curtain that was hiding him from the sunlight. He sighs.

In the end, he couldn't ignore the big package behind him. They need to talk. It will be impossible to reconcile after many years but this could be their only chance to correct the misunderstanding.

After all, he was older than Xcerox by a year. It was childish of him to make the same tantrum as Xcerox. He was the brother. He needs to act maturely and calmly.

"Xcerox…"

"I'm sorry!"

They both said simultaneously and startled each other.

Ah?

Zelfon slowly turned his body to look at Xcerox. He was surprised again by the latter's tearful expression and it was more awful than before. And Xcerox, who saw Zelfon stare at him, instantly broke the dam.

"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" He cried out while using his hands to hide his shame and hideous appearance.

Zelfon went silent and blinked his eyes multiple times. He felt unbelievable. But a sudden heat in his eyes told him that he was going to do the same. His chest felt painful and tight.

Zelfon took a deep breath. "I am unable to forgive you, Xcerox and you know why."

The latter flinched. "... I, I understand…"

Zelfon's sentences were enough to show the pain that he had to bear alone all these years. Such misery makes Xcerox cry more.

"... Maybe in the future, I will forgive you. Just not yet."

He was stunned by Zelfon's continued sentences.

"No, you don't need to forgive me! I understand! I did so many horrible things to you and it was unforgivable!" Xcerox stood up.

"Verbal abuse and ignoring me are just mental torture. It can be cured."

Huh?

"What are you saying?! Isn't that just the opposite? Words cut someone like a knife and it is hard to cure. As for physical wounds, they can heal slowly. It is the opposite." Xcerox stared at Zelfon dumbfounded.

"Ah, then you know how much I have to endure? So, just sorry is not enough, Xcerox."

"Yes, I know that! So, there's no need to forgive me!"

"Are you stupid?"

"What?!"

"You're stupid! What kind of mental sickness do you have for wanting to be a masochist?! I said I will forgive you, didn't I?!" Zelfon yelled because Xcerox was getting on his nerves again.

What stupid person won't like to be forgiven?

"No, I won't accept!" Xcerox stubbornly said.

"Urgh! You, You…! You're stupid! And childish! Grow up already!"

"I am a grown-up! I'm already eighteen!"

"Urgh! Shut up and listen to me! I am older than you! I will forgive you now! So, stop resisting me!"

Xcerox growled but then he stopped. Even Zelfon realised something was wrong.

'Wait, did I just forgive him immediately? Damn my mouth…'

He thought he needed more time to forgive Xcerox and teach him how he felt before but it seems he couldn't hold on.

"Mmph?!"

He gasped a mouthful of air when Xcerox suddenly hugged him tight. He could hear the latter sniffing and sobbing again.

"Why…? I said… I said so many unforgivable words…" Xcerox asked hoarsely.

Zelfon sighed before he slowly patted Xcerox back.

"It's human nature to forgive… And I am older. I may be still angry about what you have done but after you apologise, my heart slowly feels peaceful. Not all is gone yet so don't think I forgive you entirely."

He could feel Xcerox nod on his shoulder and they went silent for a while.

"What happened back then? Can't you still remember?"

"... Only pieces. I can't remember everything yet."

Xcerox released the hug and stared at Zelfon worriedly.

"The doctor didn't help you?"

Zelfon let out a small smile. "Inner damage is hard to cure. I lost some memories of my childhood and I even can't remember everyone until I saw them. The doctor speculates that I need to see Elgarb to fully heal. Unfortunately, no one knows where he is…" He looked depressed.

"Or alive…" He continued.

Xcerox too feels the same. Elgarb might have died back then. If he was alive, he should have gone to find them years ago but he didn't at all. Xcerox feels bad and sympathises with Zelfon who was unable to be healed.

He grabs Zelfon's hands with his. "We will try to cure your memories without him."

"How?" Zelfon was confused.

"The demons…"

Zelfon gasped. "You don't mean to ask Zeliker and others to get into my consciousness, do you? No, it's dangerous!"

"I know. But, only they can do it. Maybe they can help gather and piece back your memories…"

"I disagree! I am okay. I just need some time to heal them. Xcerox, it's okay. I'm fine… So, don't worry about me." Zelfon grabbed the hands on him and told the latter gently.

He knows Xcerox was very concerned about him but he can't accept having someone enter his consciousness. It was his private place. And the realm of someone's consciousness has both a cheerful and dark side.

He was afraid people who entered his consciousness might end up trapped by him and unable to leave. In meaning, they would die in his consciousness if they make a wrong step disturbing something they shouldn't.

Zelfon knew he had awful thoughts and was hidden by him for years. It could have him jailed for life so he can't allow anyone to find out about it or get into danger. After all, people who enter other people's consciousness will be hopeless in it. The host would be stronger than them in it.

"... Okay… I won't force you."

Zelfon was relieved to hear it.

"So, what do you remember?"

Zelfon thought for a moment before he told Xcerox about it. He didn't hide anything except for the scene that was in a jumble. While at that, Xcerox wiped his remaining tears with his hands.

It was an hour later when Elamos return to check on his son. He entered the room along with Zeliker and his friends. Everyone was happy and relieved to see that both Xcerox and Zelfon were chatting normally. No longer there was any disgust, hate or anger in their eyes.