29. FIDGETING

Alina stepped into her small dorm apartment, her heart sinking when she noticed the emptiness that greeted her. Her mother had gone back to their hometown with her father, and Jace was off in another city for a project launch. The place, filled with the comforting buzz of family chaos, was now silent. The air felt heavy, and for the first time in days, the loneliness crept in, curling around her chest like a vice.

Her thoughts kept drifting back to the scene in the library earlier that day, the intensity of it clawed at her insides. She hadn’t understood it then, but now, in the solitude of her empty room, something about Caelan’s presence lingered. It was as though his very being had been tied to the tension that had unraveled in the library, the way the air seemed to shift when he was near. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was connected to it all, that somehow, without even meaning to, he had become a part of the puzzle.

Alina sat down on the edge of her bed, her hands gripping the comforter tightly. She knew she shouldn’t get involved. Going to his house, seeking him out, it was reckless. She barely knew him, and yet... she couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through her mind. There was something about him that unsettled her, that tugged at her in ways she couldn’t quite understand. He felt like a mystery, one that she was desperate to unravel, even if it meant crossing lines she wasn’t sure she was ready to cross.

She told herself to wait until morning. It was late, far too late to go rushing off to someone’s mansion in the dead of night. But sleep didn’t come easily. Her mind kept replaying the library, his presence, the way he was sitting in the garden. She felt as if she were standing on the edge of something, teetering, waiting to fall.

When the first hint of dawn broke through her window, she bolted out of bed. The decision had already been made in the dark hours of the night, as she tossed and turned, unable to escape the pull that Caelan had over her thoughts. She dressed quickly, her heart pounding in her chest as she left the dorm, the early morning chill biting at her skin.

The walk to his mansion felt surreal. The streets were quiet, the world still waking up as she hurried along, her mind consumed by the growing need to understand why she couldn’t stop thinking about him. Why he seemed to haunt her in ways she hadn’t expected.

When she arrived, the towering gates of Caelan’s mansion loomed before her, imposing and cold. She stood there, hands stuffed into her coat pockets, waiting, unsure of what she’d even say when she saw him. Her breath formed small clouds in the crisp morning air as her mind raced, her thoughts jumbled and frantic.

Time dragged on. She felt ridiculous standing there, waiting for a man she barely knew, but something inside her refused to let her leave. She had to see him, to confront the thoughts that had plagued her since the library. To figure out what it was about him that seemed to stir something deep inside her.

After what felt like hours, the gates finally opened, and there he was, Caelan. His expression was calm, almost indifferent, but his eyes, there was something in his eyes, a flicker of surprise at seeing her there.

“Alina,” he greeted her, his voice low, sending a shiver down her spine. “What are you doing here?”

She swallowed, suddenly unsure of herself. “I... need ride to my university,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I forgot my card in my class.” Lying through her teeth

Caelan’s gaze softened ever so slightly, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he nodded, as if understanding more than he was letting on. Alina felt a surge of frustration at his calm demeanor, at the way he always seemed to keep everything so tightly controlled, while she was left unraveling in the chaos of her emotions.

“I don’t know why I'm here,” she continued, her voice rising, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. “It just felt like, only you could help me. I don’t know any other person than you.”

He looked at her for a long moment, his grey eyes piercing through her, as though he could see everything she was feeling, everything she was struggling with. “You shouldn’t have come,” he sighed quietly, his tone carrying a weight that only deepened the ache in her chest.

“I know,” Alina replied, her voice trembling. “But I couldn’t stop myself.”

For a brief moment, silence hung between them, thick with unsaid words. Then, almost unexpectedly, Caelan nodded toward the street, his expression softening. “Come on, let’s walk.”

She blinked, surprised by the offer, but nodded, falling into step beside him. The early morning air was cool against her skin as they walked together toward the bus stop, the streets still quiet and empty.

As they walked, Alina glanced up at him, her heart still racing. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she began hesitantly, trying to focus on something other than the knot of emotions inside her. “There’s an event coming up. A three-day Chinese literary event. I’m helping organize it. I thought maybe, maybe you’d like to come? Also,it will be best because you helped me with it.”

Caelan didn’t respond right away, his eyes trained on the road ahead. Then, after a long pause, he nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

Alina felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment at his response. She had expected something more, though she wasn’t sure what. The tension between them remained, unresolved, hovering like a weight that neither of them knew how to address.

As they reached the bus stop, Caelan turned to face her. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in the way he looked at her that made her feel exposed, vulnerable.

“Whatever’s bothering you,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper, “don’t let it consume you, Alina.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut. Before she could respond, the bus arrived, and Caelan stepped onto it, leaving her standing there, still caught in the whirlwind of her own feelings.