Chapter 10

Ameerah's POV
I stayed in that room and just sat silently while refreshing what Alderie told me.
Whatever she said makes sense but it's not enough for me to believe. What if, it's just a coincidence? And he just added? I can't just believe her. I love Valdus that's why I trust him.
But is it enough? I know I need to learn more and that's what I'm going to do. I want to know the truth. But what if it's true? What will I do?
I slowly turned around as I felt something enter. My eyes locked with Valdus intense stare and because I'm aware he can read my mind. I keep it blank.
"What are you doing here? It's dinnertime," he wondered
I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. Should I ask him now? But I said I will wait he told me everything but I was confused. I am already hurt by what I know.
I was distracted by someone holding my shoulder. Valdus stepped back when he saw me flinched. Its forehead furrowed even more.
"What's wrong?" He asked a short question
He seems to know something is wrong. Anyway, it's not hard to say that because it's obvious from my actions. Maybe it's time to know everything. I stood up and faced him.
I saw that he was surprised by my sudden standing up and my evil stare but he also recovered quickly.
"You're acting so weird. What happened to you?" He asked
I gritted my teeth before letting out a breath, "A-Are you using me? Answer me Valdus. G-are you just using me to invalidate the curse?" I asked in a hard voice
His jaw dropped and his eyes widens in shock. So it's true? I looked away because he didn't answer right away. I looked at Amber whose eyes also widened. It was as if my heart broke when I realized he also knew the truth.
"A-Ameerah," he whispered hopelessly
My tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked at him. "K-If that's true? It's true that you just used me to take your child and lose the curse you're carrying because of your greed !!" I shout
Pain flickered in his eyes but he didn't say a thing. He averted his eyes because no heels met his gaze. I clenched my fist.
"You brought me here to use! I-Is this what you're saying to pay for what you helped us with? Or did we really help you? Ha? Answer me! Is that why you really don't want me to know the past because you're scared you lose me because of your lies !? " I shout
My eyes are full of tears but I don't want to wipe them. I want to see him how much he hurt me. I don"t want to be strong in front of the person who hurt me! Because I don't want to be a liar like him !!
I was tired of sitting down. Tears kept falling in my eyes. He didn't even defend himself. That's enough. That's right Alderie. Maybe the person in front of me now is the real cheater.
"I'm sorry," I said in a weak but cold voice
I can feel him staring at me but I don't dare look at him. No. I don't look at one who betrayed me.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like this. I'm such stupid. I'm not even your wife. Just queen me in front of them. I should know my place," I stood up and was cold who stared at him
I saw something in his eyes but I'm too angry to read it. I have no appetite. It"s true what they said. Too much madness can blind people but I will do nothing to not be one of the people who send anger.
Because I know anything else will try to make me forget what he did. It will come back and come back. In a more serious way.
"Whatever you think. It's not that. You are my Queen and I—"
I cut him off, "Save it King Valdus. I'm sorry for being dramatic and stupid. I won't ask questions anymore. I'm going now, your majesty," I politely said in a formal and cold voice then I yumuko
His lips parted and for the first time. I saw how afraid he was. I just laughed. Looks like the King feared that he won't have his two child anymore. Well, I won't give him the satisfaction.
I"ll make sure he doesn"t get what he wants.
Without saying a word I turned my back on her and started walking when I saw Amber with teary eyes. My chest tightened.
How could you hide this to me Amber? I thought you didn"t want me to be ignorant for being ignorant?
Who did I cheat on? Of course she'll cover up her brother instead of giving a damn about me.
I smirked coldly at her. I could see the flow of her tears, "You didn't tell me because you wanted to break the curse. Right. How stupid I am. You betrayed me. You made me look like a fool and I won't never forget that, "I said emphatically
"Y-Your majesty—"
"Get my things out and transfer it back to my room. NOW! I want it tonight. If you don't do what I order after I take a bath. You won't eat in 3 days," I commanded authoritatively.
She sobbed and bowed. It hurts to see her like this. I treated him like a brother but he cheated on me. She had all the time to tell me but she didn"t.
I looked back at Valdus who's looking at me like he was about to lose something.
'I can't believe my King is my traitor'
-
The tears I had held back earlier flowed. I let the cold water swallow my body. The pain of my heart.
I can imagine how thrilled I was because of what he was saying. I remember everything we did in a short time. And I couldn"t help but be angry with myself. I 'm stupid. I am stupid! I want to be like Mom but when it comes to this thing. My fool!
I let myself be blinded by the love I discovered through him. I don't want to believe it but it's obvious in his eyes. He fooled me. He's just using me.
I dipped my head under the water. I want to go home and hug my mother. Tell her I'm sorry for being stupid.
I went upstairs and wiped my body and then put on my underwear. I went inside the room and found Amber standing there. I averted my eyes.
"You can now go," I coldly command
"Y-your majesty—"
"I said go away. You don't understand what I'm ordering you to do?" I shouted loudly
He stepped back and bowed. I know she was about to cry but she's forcing herself not to.
"Y-You still haven't e-eat dinner, y-your majesty," he muttered
"I don't want to eat. Go away," I refused then took a thin dress
He stepped back again, "I-I'm sorry your majesty. I'm really sorry," he said before finally leaving.
I dropped my body on the bed and then buried my face in the soft pillow. I don't want to see him like that but I can't just forget and forgive that easily. If only.
If only I had known from them myself.
Maybe I understood more.
Because if it was on their own, I would think they had changed but they didn"t. I found out from others that it meant they had no intention of saying and they just kept fooling me.
I wonder how long will they keep that secret if I don"t find out right away.
I wonder what will happen to me and my child if I never know about his plans.

Valdus's POV
I'm starting to feel nervous as I stare at her, eating her food silently. I know everything has changed in his behavior over the years and I'm to blame.
I do not know what to do. What to react. Who to blame. With each passing minute it was like a snowball because of the extreme cold. The fear I'm feeling doubled every single minute.
The fear of being left out
I can't help but to miss her smiles, how she tease me, being so stubborn and so understanding. I should've tell her. I should! I shouldn't pretend that he will wait for the day when he will say everything.
And now, I felt like I lost my Queen. My strong, independent and adorable Queen. After what happened. She become distant, formal and cold. She don't want me to touch even the single strand of her hair.
I remembered the day when I decided to take her with me in one of our general meetings. She was so far from and acting like a behave Queen which broke my heart.
Seeing her justifying her own words not to invade again and stay silent. Broke my heart. And I don't know what to do.
"I'm taking my leave now, your majesty," She said in a very formal tone before bowing her head
I moaned as I looked at him. She was about to walk out when I held her hands. He looked at me quickly. Damn it! She didn't really leave without a fight.
"We need to talk. Stop acting like this," I whispered emphatically
But to my surprise. A cold smirk form in her lucious lips like she was mocking me, "Stop like what? I'm just placing myself majesty. Isn't this what you want? I'm just following our contract,"
I frowned at her. Contract? "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, confused
She pulled her arm from my grip forcely and I know it hurts. He just doesn"t show it with his eyes.
"Yeah. Contract. You want me to be your cheat Queen for me to pay our debt, right? And that's enough to let you know that no one is interfering with us and you have no right to confront me. Because I'm only doing this ... for my country not in a traitor like you, "
The words he uttered seemed like a slap in the face to me. I knew. It's my plan because I'm too desperate to break the freaking curse but I regret it now.
I just wanted what's best for my people and the child I wanted will gave back the life that was once taken to us but now that I saw her. Now that I knew her. Now that I already like her.
All I want is to be with her. F-ck that curse but even Ameerah is pregnant. I won't never leave her. Yeah. I'm selfish but damn! No! I can't just let her go.
Like what I promised to myself when I realized how precious she was in my life.
I won't never surrender my Queen
"I-I made mistake. Y-yeah it's my plan in the first because I'm desperate. I'm cruel. I'm selfish. But ...," I trailed off
"It's good you know what kind of creature you are," she snorted
Again, her words break me again. Damn. She was just so independent that her words become strong and making sense. And it was too painful to accept.
"I can never bring it back but I won't never surrender you Ameerah. I'm willing to tell you every detail you wanted to know. Just please. D-Don't be like this?" I almost begging in her with my men around but I don't care
What I care is her forgiveness
"What's the use? I seem to know everything. I don't need to know anything else. Then what if I'm like you?" She smirked. "Don't you like it? You have two Alderie in your life,"
I clenched my fist then held her back to when she started walking away. No. She can just leave me here before I went insane.
"I'd never plead to anyone Ameerah but I'm begging. Stop—"
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat when she stood in front of me, looking unblinking at my eyes. She was too closed for my restraint.
"What do you want to happen? Is this what you want? This is what you made me look like then isn't it? This is also the reason why I'm here. What am I like to you now? What am I to you Valdus?"
I wanted to slap myself when I saw her eyes were wet but because she was so strong. She didn't shed even a single tear.
"Explain it!" She hit my chest repeatedly and I let her. "Because it's so painful to know that the person I've learned to love is just using me! Please. Don't let my heart hope Valdus because I don't want to be hurt until I don't realize that I might forget you and hate you!"
I"m just being used by the person I"ve learned to love
Love? S-She loved me? My grip on him finally loosened and for the second time. She ran away from me with a broken heart.
And I did nothing but watch her leave
Ameerah's POV
I lay down on the bed and lowered my face then let my tears fall. I'd been like this in the past few days because I can't handle the pain.
Seriously, I forget what cause the pain anymore. The fact that he used me or the fact that he didn't like it?
I just show that I am strong but when it comes to the four corners of this room, I bring out my weakness.
I was disgusted with myself because I couldn"t get mad at him for long. I knew he's thinking I'm mad but I just want him to come and ask for my forgiveness. I want him to show that he will not repeat that. That somehow, I'm special to him.
But I was wrong and yet I was broken because of disappointment and wrong assumptions especially expection. I can feel him staring at me every time I'm cold to him but he doesn't do anything and he just stood up to talk to me.
Which broke my heart even more. I asked him what he wants me to. What I am to him but he did not answer!
Until a woman can just invalidate the curse she thinks of me?
-
I can feel the coldness of the whole place triple now. My face and mind was blank and my skin felt so cold. None of my own was walking down the hallway where I had a view of the back of the palace.
My mind was flying back to my family in Filifia. Many questions played in my mind just like so what would my life be like if all this hadn"t happened.
I stopped walking and propped my arm on the stone railing where I could see the withered tree.
"I'm sorry but I can't help you. If only ... your king had deceived me. If only he loved me. I would probably save you here," I talked to the trees as if they could hear what I'm saying.
I bowed as tears fell in my eyes. I suddenly felt hopeless, tired and empty. I tried to wipe away my tears so that Amber and the other maid who were far away from me could not see but it keeps falling.
"B-But my parents taught me to love myself and my moving away from Valdus is the only way for me to appreciate myself," I whispered.
That afternoon I raised my arm to the railings and let the tears flow. I was like that when I felt a strong arms hug me from behind.
My heart quickly obeyed and it pounded inside my chest. I smiled wryly. How could you still beat to someone who hurt you?
I let him pulled me closer to him. He puts his arms around my waist and kisses me on the head. It felt so good but it hurts so bad at the same time. I want to pull away and push him but Im too tired for that.
Even now. I want to feel the warmth of his hug again.
"I would never surrender you Ameerah. I promised you that. I'll do everything for you to forgive me and forget the pain," he introduced me to her. "I just want you to know something,"
I stared into his red eyes as if they were sad. I didn't speak and let him say what he wanted to say.
"Even if you bear my child. I will never leave you Ameerah. You are my Queen and I'm planning to make you my wife,"
My lips parted at what he said. There's part of me that I'm happy but there's a part that I'm afraid. Because I don't know how he really feels for me.
"W-why?"
"You knew I'd been dying to ask you to be my Queen. I'm just afraid you will reject it," she said sadly.
He hugged me tightly again I could feel the strong beating of his heart.
"Because once I marry you. You'll become immortal like me. I'm afraid you will reject me so I didn't have the courage to ask," he stroked my hair. "If you saw your brother's dying. I knew it will only hurt you. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to see you regret marrying me. That's why I'm afraid Ameerah not because I don't want you to be my wife,"
I seem to have stiffened in my position because of what he explained. K-That's right. That's why he didn't marry me even though he wanted to. Because he was concerned of what I'm feeling. It was all about me. All this time, he was thinking of me.
"I'll take back Ameerah. And when the time came when you already forgive me. I'm sorry Ameerah but I'll be selfish again. I'll marry you away,"

To be continued...