Chapter Forty Two
*Ariya*
I don’t think I’m ever going to get over Boss’s habit of giving me a big reveal before he leaves a room. My jaw hit the ground as I stared at the door that Boss walked out of.
“Wait, what?!” I stood up, in disbelief and walked after Boss.
The chains stopped me in my tracks. My breathing quickened. I wanted to know what happened. I pulled at the chains, trying to get the door so I could go after Boss.
“Ariya, stop! Don’t pull at them. If you break them, he’s going to put you back on the table.” Justin said, snapping out of his trance.
I froze in place, “Why…Why would he tell me that?”
“Probably to give you a bit of hope, Ariya. Or maybe he felt bad? I don’t know.” Justin said, stepping closer to me.
I looked at him, the fear and worry across my face like an open book. I didn’t try to mask my feelings around Justin.
“What did you remember, Ariya?” Justin asked.
My eyes grew wide, “I told Boss part of it. But There was a bit more. Ivan was there…”
“Do you know what he looks like? Who is he?” Justin probed.
I took a step back from Justin, “I don’t know. He was in his wolf form. Why are you asking me this?”
Justin looked at me, “Ariya, I don’t mean anything by it. But we need to find out who he is. Don’t we?”
I hesitated, “I need to find out who he is. I don’t think YOU need to find out though.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Justin asked, appalled.
“Whose side are you on, Justin?” I challenged him.
“Wait, what?”
“If you’re on my side, then you are trying to find Ivan to get him out of here safely. But if you’re on Boss’s side, then you’re trying to find Ivan to kill him. So whose side are you on?” I growled at Justin.
“I don’t know anymore.” Justin said, looking at the ground.
“Why not?” I challenged him.
“This is what I’ve known. All my life. This is what I’ve known, Ariya. But you, you confuse me! You make me question what I know. I don’t know whose side I’m on. I want to be on yours, but everything I know and believe tells me I should be on Boss’s side. I don’t know anymore.” Justin confessed.
Justin seemed to be breaking apart in front of me. I wanted to comfort him but I wasn’t sure if I should move closer. The last thing I wanted to do was cause problems and get us both into trouble.
“Can you come closer?” I asked him.
He looked up at me, confused, “What? Why?”
I blushed, “I want to hug you but I don’t want to freak you out or get into trouble for doing so.”
Justin laughed and came over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I put my head against his chest, snuggling in. It seemed that he was trying to comfort me more than I was trying to comfort him.
“You’re going to get through this, Ariya. I believe in you. All of this is so confusing for me. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Justin said, taking my face in his hands.
I looked in Justin’s eyes, “I’m not trying to add to your confusion, Justin. But I think if you’re confused it’s for a reason. Maybe what you know isn't the full truth?”
Justin sighed, “The more we talk, the more I seem to learn. Some of it seems true though. For instance when you bit me.”
I flinched, “I’m really sorry about that.”
Justin laughed, “I forgive you for it, Ariya. But it adds to the confusion. Why are you behaving so much anyway?”
“I don’t see a reason to make things harder. I mean yeah, I could refuse to tell you guys the truth but where does that get any of us? Telling you the truth seems to go further. Whether you like the truth or not, it matters. Lying doesn’t get you anywhere except in a deeper hole.”
“I guess you’re right. Boss did give you a lot more freedom this last time.” Justin went a little pale, “I didn’t know about your Mom.”
Hot, fresh tears burned my eyes. My body began to shake.
“I’m sorry!” Justin said, instantly regretting bringing it up.
Justin wiped the tears from my eyes and hugged me tightly. I breathed his scent in, relaxing more. I suddenly felt safer again. I couldn’t explain why I felt this way and I knew if I told Keo he would be livid at me for feeling safe in the enemy's arms. But was Justin really an enemy? I didn’t know for sure and I couldn’t be sure.
“Will you tell me when you decide?” I asked suddenly.
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me whose side you’re on. When you know. Will you tell me?” I whispered.
“Pretty sure I already showed you whose side I’m on.” Justin laughed.
“You’re still torn. I can feel it.”
Justin stepped away from me and took my face in his hands, “Ariya, I’m only torn by what I believe to be true. But I know you, and I am going to need to be reminded about that from time to time. Ok? Keep showing me the truth. But Ariya, I’m on your side. When it comes down to it. Thinking of telling Boss something important that could hurt you makes me sick. Thinking about Boss torturing you…I can’t. I can’t deal with that. I don’t want you to be hurt, Ariya. I’m on your side, but I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to do what Boss tells you to do. Until all my memories are back.”
“What if he asks me to torture you?”
“Then you have to do it.”
Justin went pale, “Ariya…I don’t think I can do that.”
“Then you need to leave me here and get out while you still can.”
“I can’t do that either.” Justin growled.
I looked at Justin grimly, “Well then you either do what Boss tells you to, or you will end up being killed. If that happens, I’ll probably be dead shortly after that.”
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