Chapter 6

“Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there is no right choice in a situation. You can go over it and over it in your mind, looking at every angle, and there is simply nothing you can change. I would rather have her by my side, but then she would be in perilous danger. So, I will send her home, but then she is out of my reach if something does go wrong. I must choose the lesser of two evils, but I’m beginning to wonder if even that will be too much a price to pay.” ~Cypher


“Enter,” Cypher called over his shoulder at the sound of the knock. He was attempting to sound civil but there was nothing in him at the moment that felt civil. Lilly was gone. He had sent her away. And so now here he stood on the brink of some sort of war with his brother and no mate to tell him all would be well. Whether a man knew it or not, he needed a woman at his back: someone to remind him that all is not lost, someone to show him the sliver of light that is creeping its way through the dark, someone to hold him, even when he didn’t realize he needed to be held.
“She is gone,” Gerick, the general of his army, spoke softly behind him.
Cypher bit back the snide comment that was on the tip of his tongue. It wasn’t Gerick’s fault that Lilly was gone. It was nobody’s fault but his own.
“I know, but thank you for telling me.”
He knew that Gerick wanted to say more, but was not sure if it was his place to do so.
“What is it, Gerick?” Cypher finally asked as a loud sigh gusted from his lungs.
“Was it really necessary to send her away?” Gerick was attempting to keep the accusation out of his voice, but he wanted his king to be fully aware of the disapproval. “It isn’t just you who feels her absence.”
Cypher closed his eyes as he thought about the past couple of months that Lilly had been with him and his people. They had grown to love her nearly as much as he did. She was kind and understanding, willing to just listen when someone needed to talk. She had brought something back to their kind that had been missing, compassion and hope. Cypher never thought that he would find a mate, and his people were convinced that they would eventually fade away as the magic continued to fade from the human realm. Cypher wasn’t sure if that was what would happen, but he understood what they meant. They felt insignificant, without purpose and unsure of what to do while they watched their king flounder his way through his existence, trying to make sense of what he needed to do next.
Humans simply did not understand the importance of a mate in the supernatural community. A mate was more than a spouse, more than someone you just spent your life with or procreated with. A mate in the supernatural world was the completion of something that was not whole. A mate filled a space that no one else could.
Lilly was that person for Cypher. She was his, and through him, she was his people’s as well.
“Gerick,” his voice was soft as his head fell forward and a rush of air left his lungs, “I would not have sent her away if I had thought there was another option.”
“I know that. But by sending her away you have brought fear into the hearts of our people.”
“They should be afraid!” Cypher snarled as he whipped around and his eyes bore into Gerick’s. “My brother has nothing good left in him. Anything worthy in him died with his woman, and all that is left is an empty shell, yearning to be filled with the blood, sorrow, and grief of others. They should be afraid,” his last words come out in a near whisper.
Cypher knew that his words were cruel and that his anger was misplaced, but that did not help him keep it under control.
“I will be leaving in a little while to go to the Romanian pack. I’m going alone. You will need to keep an eye on the perimeter. The blackness in the air hasn’t grown any thicker, but it has not abated at all either,” Cypher’s voice had lost some of the edge and he was beginning to lock up the emotions that were threatening to consume him. He didn’t have time to pine over his mate. He had an enemy to defeat and he could not defeat him by standing in this throne room whining about things he could not change.
Lilly was gone, at least for now. Once the threat of his brother had been neutralized he would go and get her back. He only hoped that her heart did not move on while he fought to keep her safe and alive.



Decebel closed the door quietly behind him as he walked into the room Jennifer and he shared at the Romanian pack mansion. He watched quietly as Jennifer went into the closet and began bringing out clothes and laying them on the bed. She didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he was in the room, so he waited. He didn’t have any idea what he was going to say to her, but he was terrified that as soon as he opened his mouth it was going to be to beg her to stay and plead for her forgiveness. He had hurt her so much in the past month, and he knew that she would only continue to hurt. What choice do I have he growled to himself. He wanted to save the life of their child, and he didn’t want to put Jennifer in a place where she had to choose between him or their baby. This was the only solution he could come up with, and he knew Jennifer would tell him it sucked and to come up with something new, but he was fresh out of new.
“Are you going to tell me why you are okay with letting your pregnant wife fly halfway around the world with a woman who is being hunted by a crazy warlock?” her voice was calm and even.
Decebel took a step toward her but she held up her hand to stop him.
“Answer me, B,” she told him firmly.
“I love you, Jennifer. I love you more than any man has a right to love. That is all you need to know.” He tried to implore her with his eyes to just trust him. But could he ask that of her when he knew he was planning on ending his life without telling her?
“As romantic and fuzzy as that sounds, it’s a crap answer Dec and you know it.” Jen grabbed her suitcase from the closet and started putting the clothes she had laid on her bed into it. She let out a dry laugh that said she was anything but humored. “I mean seriously, after all we’ve been through together? After all we’ve done together, you honestly believe I will just take what you’re telling me and act like I have my head shoved so far up my butt that I can’t smell the shit you have spewing from your lips?”
His eyes widened at her language. He used to her being crass, but even for her, this was intense.
“Yeah, I said it,” she threw her arms out wide, “what are you going to do about it, Alpha? Tell me another sweet nothing and hope that I choke on it so I can ignore the fact that my mate is shutting me out and shipping me and his unborn child off to another country without so much as a ‘bye babe, hope our baby lives through delivery.’ Come on, Dec. What the hell is that?!”
Decebel turned abruptly and slammed his fists into the wall tearing through the plaster even as her words tore through his heart.
“HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK SUCH A THING?” he snarled but kept his back to her. “You have no concept of the pain that I am going through right now, mate.” he turned slowly to face her as his breathing increased and he fought for control to keep from phasing. “The thought of you gone, where I can’t touch you, can’t hold you, can’t be there if you need me, is like a hot skewer being shoved into my gut.”
“How am I supposed to know Decebel?” she snarled right back. “You won’t let me in. You hide your thoughts from me. You keep your touch from me. It’s like you can’t stand to be with me. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?” Tears were sliding down her cheeks and she had abandoned the half-packed suitcase.
Their eyes met and the pain they both felt radiated between them. Decebel stumbled forward and fell to his knees in front of her.
“Please, I know I don’t deserve it, but please trust me,” he whispered against her stomach as he leaned against her.
Jen closed her eyes and soaked up the contact as she ran her fingers through his dark hair. It had grown enough in the past couple of months that it dropped in front of his eyes, adding to his off-limits allure.
She felt more tears slide down her cheeks and drop onto his face as he looked up at her. Decebel stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly as he could without hurting her.
“Baby,” he whispered against her hair. He breathed in her scent and could taste her on his tongue and he longed for the nights of shared laughter, whispers, and love. “I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. But you have to believe me, I love you, I love our baby, and I’m not abandoning you.”
Jen shuddered as she felt his breath against her neck and his hands run up her back, firm and confident in his touch. She loved that about him. He saw what he wanted and he just took it. He had wanted her, and he had taken her and she had gone willingly with a big fat grin on her face. That felt like ages ago, but it hadn’t even been a year. She never thought she would need anyone, not the way she needed Decebel. As he held her, asking her to trust him, even though he wouldn’t tell her what he was keeping from her, she knew she would. She would give Decebel anything he asked for, even if it broke her heart to do so.
“Promise me you will be alright,” she told him as she pulled back far enough to be able to look up into his amber eyes, “promise me that you will come for me and your child. Promise me that,” her words were cut off with a choke as she tried to keep from falling apart.
“Shh, Jennifer,” he told her gently. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, and then her lips. Decebel’s hand slipped up into Jennifer’s hair on either side of her face, holding her still as he took her mouth in his. He kissed her deeply imprinting his taste in her mind, his love in her heart, and, as usual, she gave as good as she got. He nipped at her lips and smiled when she moaned and pressed her swollen body against his. He continued to kiss her but let one of his hands slid down until it rested on her stomach. She gasped as she pulled back from the kiss and pressed her forehead to his. Her eyes met his as she covered his hand with her own.
“I love you,” her whisper reached into the dark places that were beginning to form as their bond began to weaken. He pushed the thought from his mind and focused on the woman in his arms―his woman.
“Sometimes I love you seems inadequate for what I feel for you,” he whispered back.
“Please tell me to stay,” Jennifer pleaded with him and it brought a fresh wave of anguish.
“I want you to baby, more than you know. But you need to go. You will be safe there.”
Decebel’s wolf snarled at him. We make her safe, he told the man. We protect her; she is ours. He couldn’t argue with his wolf because all of those things were true, but the man knew that sometimes protecting meant letting go of the one needing protection, no matter how badly you want to hold on.
Jen waited, but he didn’t say anything more. She pulled him tighter against her, trying to memorize the feel of his body.
“I’ll go,” she told him finally, “but I’m still pissed at you.”
A small smile curved the side of his lips and she reached up to kiss him.
“It is noted that you are still pissed,” he told her in between kisses.
Their kiss grew more and more intense as words seemed incapable of describing the love and need that had been growing in both of them. Jen grabbed on to him like he was a life raft in a turbulent storm. Her hands roamed over him and he didn’t stop her the way he had so many times before.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m so sorry,” he murmured over and over and his own hands caressed and loved her as he had not allowed himself to do in so long.
He knew he should just kiss her, help her pack, and then walk her out to go, but he couldn’t. This might be the last time he would be with his mate, the last time to kiss her, touch her, and love her, and so he would take what was his, what he had denied himself and her for too long.
“I love you, Jennifer,” he told her as he laid her on their bed and covered her body with his own.
“Show me,” she was breathless as the words left her mouth.
“I plan to,” he whispered against her ear. His wolf howled triumphantly and Decebel was powerless to stop himself as he sunk his teeth into his mark on her neck that branded her as his.
“Yours,” she agreed.
“Mine.”



“I understand why you want to go.” Fane was standing with his back against the wall and his arms were folded across his chest. He just barely kept the growl out of his voice, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from glowing. He was angry - angry with Cypher for sending Lilly away, angry at Jacquelyn for deciding to go without speaking with him first, angry at his father for agreeing to it, and angry at himself because he couldn’t do a damn thing about any of it.
“If you understand, then what is the problem?” Jacque asked as she threw her clothes haphazardly in her suitcase not bothering to check what was in her hands.
“The problem is I’m not going to be there to keep you safe.”
Jacque stopped what she was doing and looked over at her mate. “Have I not proven that I’m capable of protecting myself?”
“That’s not the point,” Fane snapped, “You’re my mate. You belong by my side.”
Jacque groaned and threw her head back. “Are you kidding me? Look, I understand that you males have this weird complex that makes you all possessive and whatnot, but this is my mom, Fane. She’s hurting and I’m not going to stand back while she goes back to the states after the man she loves has sent her away.”
“It’s for her own good. He’s just trying to keep her safe.” Fane pushed off of the wall and walked toward his mate. “It’s not like he doesn’t love her.”
“And you think that makes it less painful?” Jacque slammed her suitcase closed and zipped it shut with much more force than was needed. Poor suitcase, she thought, it’s not your fault all the males on this blasted continent are clueless buttheads.
“I can hear you, you know?”
Jacque raised her eyes to look at Fane. “Yes, I’m well aware of the fact that you frequently listen in when you are not invited.”
She jerked the suitcase from the bed and set it on the floor, pulling up the handle so that she could roll it behind her. She made another pass through the bathroom but then decided that whatever she’d forgotten her mom would have at her house. If not, then Walmart was a hop, skip, and a jump away.
Fane watched in brooding silence as his mate flitted around the room. He couldn’t make her stay. He had argued all the things he could think to argue and it just wasn’t enough. As she headed toward their bedroom door, dragging the suitcase behind her, she looked back over her shoulder.
“Walk me out?” she asked him in a voice that was much softer than the one she had been using with him. It was the voice she used when she wanted something, the voice he could rarely deny.
He growled but walked to her and took the suitcase from her.
“I’m not happy about this Jacquelyn,” he told her as his blue eyes bore into hers.
“Noted.”
“Do you care?”
She huffed, “You know I do.”
“But you’re still going?”
“Yes.”
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, surprisingly gentle considering the scowl plastered on his face. He grabbed her then and pulled her from their room, suitcase in one hand, Jacque in the other. There was nothing more to say. Now he just had to hope that he could hold it together until they were together again.



Sally was extremely surprised at Costin’s volatile response to her decision to go to the States with Lilly and the others. Of all the male wolves, Costin was the most relaxed and easygoing. But his relaxed nature was gone as he paced around their room, having just hastily shoved on a pair of pants, which was necessitated by his rage-induced run.
She stood silently next to her packed things and waited for him to speak. She had packed everything while he was gone and now had an hour to spare or argue with her unreasonable mate, whatever the case may be.
“I’m not unreasonable,” he snarled. “My mate wants to fly across the globe without me. I’m sorry if I find that a little upsetting.”
“Costin,” Sally’s voice was gentle but firm, “come here please.”
She waited patiently as he made a couple more laps across the room and then finally walked over to her. She looked up into his hazel eyes and saw turmoil dancing frantically in them. She reached up and brushed the hair that perpetually fell across his forehead to the side. His eyes closed and a low rumble emitted from his chest at the contact.
“I love you, and I need you to let me do this,” she told him as she stepped closer to him. She moved until she was pressed against him and his scent swirled around her. She opened her mind and their bond as wide as she could so that he could see this wasn’t easy for her. She didn’t want to be away from him. Surely he had to know that leaving him was not the ideal choice, but it was the only choice there was.
“No,” he whispered as their foreheads touched, “you could choose to stay.”
“Lilly needs Jacque, and Jacque needs Jen and me. That is the way it works with family, Costin. You know this. Don’t ask me to choose between you and my friends because you know that I will choose you. How can I not choose you, the other half of my soul? But you know it would kill me to do so.”
He squeezed his eye closed tight. She was right. If he asked her, then she would stay and it would destroy her if anything happened to her friends and she hadn’t been there. But then if something happened to her while she was gone, it would destroy him. Where was the compromise in that? How is a man to send his mate off without protection and be okay with it? He let out a slow breath and then reached up with one of his hands, gripping the back of her neck. His other hand rested on her hip and tugged her closer. He tilted her head back and looked down into her eyes before he pressed his lips to hers.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss. Costin was feeling anything but gentle and he couldn’t even feign it. He kissed her deeply, attempting to drown in her taste and hoping that when they came up for air all of it would just be a bad dream. Sally responded passionately as she always did when he touched her. She leaned into him and reached up, wrapping both arms around his neck. The small noises she made drove him crazy and he was beginning to think kissing her was a bad idea because it was only reminding him of what he wouldn’t be able to have the entire time she was gone.
“It won’t be that long,” she told him as they continued to kiss.
“How do you know?” he asked as he nipped her lip roughly.
She pulled back and looked up at him. Her cheeks were flushed and her breathing was rapid. She was beautiful.
“Because if you think it’s going to be easy for me to be away from you then you have been sniffing too many of the herbs I’ve been working with. I don’t want to be away from you any longer than I absolutely have to be.”
His hands slid to her back and then began sliding lower.
“Could I convince you to stay? Show you what you will be missing?”
Sally nearly groaned as she watched the playfulness return to her mate. It was this flirty, teasing manner that drove her wild and he knew it. He wielded it ruthlessly against her and she nearly always caved.
“Believe me. I know what I will be missing.”
Costin smacked her backside, something he seemed fond of doing, and growled at her.
“As long as you know, then you should know I will be reminding you frequently.” He tapped her head indicating their mental bond.
She felt her skin heat as blood rushed to her cheeks.
He chuckled. “I see you’re remembering just how good I am at using our bond to drive you crazy.”
Sally stepped back from his hold and narrowed her eyes at him, though there was a note of playfulness in her tone. “You just remember that payback’s a bitch, dimple boy.”
Costin grumbled as he wrapped an arm around her. “Name-calling, Sally mine? Do you really think now is the time to start that. You know that I like it when you play rough.”
Sally elbowed him in the side as they left their room, and though she appreciated the playfulness he was showing her, she could still feel the underlying anger that he had chosen to bury. She could feel his wolf fighting with the man for dominance. She tried to take a deep breath and not worry about how and when that anger might come bursting free and whether or not she would be there to help him regain control.