I LOVE YOU

I slide to the seat to allow Angel to rest comfortably on my chest. I don't know what's wrong with this kid. She always sleeps on us whenever we are on the road.
"Is she so heavy? We can lie her at the back." Andy speaks. This tiger that is going to have me on his bed tonight. I wonder what he has in mind.
"No. I'm fine. I think she has gained weight of late." I remarked.
"Why wouldn't she? You feed her like you are feeding an elephant." Andy says, chuckling.
"And I am not apologizing for that. As long as she has the appetite, let her eat."
"I'm not complaining either."
"It sounded like you were."
"I am sorry if it came out that way. I am glad you are taking good care of my precious girl. She looks big for real." He says, stretching his hand to caress the back of his daughter. After a minute, his hand falls on mine, and he rests it there, intertwining our fingers. "Thank you." He says with a smile on his face.
"You don't have to thank me. I'm just doing my job." I say to him.
"Still. Thank you." He winks at me, probably telling me to shut up, and I do just that, earning a smirk from him.
Since he feels okay driving with one hand while the one is holding mine, I choose not to say anything about it. I like the warmth I am getting from it anyways, and this feeling. I press my hand on his a bit hard, and he does the same, confirming that we are together on this. I thought he might have forgotten where he left his hand, but seems like he is enjoying the contact too. Did you have to reduce me to a beggar before you could admit you feel something for me, Andy?
He parks the car in front of our house and steps out to get the door for me. It's almost eight at night. We walk inside the house with Angel in my arms, and Andy offers to take her to bed which I don't object. As he walks to his daughter's room, I make my way to the kitchen.
Damn! The night is still too young. What should I do? We have already had dinner on our way here. I start the coffee machine. I wish this can take at least one hour to prepare, but I know I'm fooling myself. I won't deny I am excited about tonight. The whole thing is overwhelming. Me spending the night in Andy's arms, the long awaited talk, I am dying for all that. But what if one thing leads to another and..and..
"Aah!" I screamed when Andy's hands fell on my hips.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, taking a step back. I must have shocked the hell out of him.
"Ah." I take a deep breath and release a sigh. "You startled me."
"Are you okay?" He walks back to me again.
I like how he always asks me that. And like I always, do, I nod my head. "Yeah."
"How many times have I told you that you don't know how to lie?" He asks, softly, and I look away. He takes my hand, guiding me to the stool where we normally sit when having our coffee. "Sit down." He says, and I obey. He walks to my back, pressing his hands on my shoulders, moving them in rhythm up and down. My boss giving me a massage? It's ironical. I want to stop it but the feeling is too good. Still continuing the massage, he leans to my ear. "I know how this little head of yours works, Ania. You are probably wondering what I have planned for you tonight. Right?"
I forgot how well he knows me. "Y..e..s." I stammered. The feeling of his fingers in contact with the soft skin of my neck being the reason. He moves his fingers softly on both sides of my neck.
"Do you trust me?" He asks, one hand dropping on my chest, lifting my head to lean back on his chest, his other hand still caressing my neck.
"I do." I say, closing my eyes to the sweet feeling of the contact of our flesh.
"Then relax, okay?" He lines up his face with mine, giving me a peck on the lips. "Can you do that for me?" He pecks me again.
"Mh. Yes." Next thing I know, he is walking out of the kitchen with me in his hands.
He places me gently on his comfortable bed, lying me on my back, and him on the side, his chest on mine. He stares at me for a long time without saying a word, and I begin to grow weary.
"What is it?" I ask, looking into his eyes.
"Aren't you scared of me?"
"Why would I?"
"I don't know. There must be something that drives people away from me. Haven't you seen it yet?"
I look at him, moving my hands to is jaws. I see nothing as such, Andy. That is only on your mind. "I look at you, and the only thing I can see is the handsome face of a man who my heart desires. The man who my heart beats for. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Andy. What else do I need to say to you?
"Nothing, Ania. I know it even without you saying it. I know you love me. I just want to hear it from your lips. It's been long since I heard those words meant for me. I had forgotten that feeling of being loved, until you came along." He cups my right cheek with his hand, soothing me with his thumb. "But you see, those are the same words that almost ruined me. Love almost ruined me. Love showed me nothing in the end but pain and betrayal. I love you, Tania, and this scares me to death."
"But A..." he sealed my lips with a silencing kiss.
When he pulled away, he put his finger on my lips. "Sshh. You have always been the one to explain how you feel. Today let me do the talking. I owe you that much." He looks up to my eyes, and I give him a smile. "I know how it feels to love without being loved in return. I know how the longing of being loved feels. And I also know how difficult it is to give love without any hope of it being returned. I have been through that countless times and believe me Ania, that is something I wouldn't want to put someone through. Especially you. You are nice. You are sweet and kind. I will never forgive myself if I ever I heart you. I will not ask you to stop loving me, because that will so selfish of me. In a way, you have aroused in me the desire to be loved again. I will ask for one thing - time. Let's take things slow. Just give me a little bit of time to absorb everything and prepare my heart again." I nod my head. "In the meantime, we can be anything you want. I won't take advantage of you, that I can assure you. Just know that I feel something strong for you. I love you."
"And I love you so much Andy."