Chapter 44

Mila sat down next to Jed. Her chest felt uncomfortably tight.

Jed’s face betrayed nothing. He was neither impatient nor jealous. He just continued to smile for awhile, allowing her to go at her own pace.

They could both hear Rori in the sparse kitchen. He was eagerly consuming the rest of whatever Jed had hunted earlier in the day. Rori’s strong digestion could easily handle the entirety of an animal after Jed had drained it and his hunger grew by the day.

The loud smacking noise as he licked his beak and the crunch of bones was almost comical. She might’ve laughed if Jed weren’t waiting for her to speak, his eyes soft and understanding.

Mila sighed. “Jed, I’m planning on staying here for quite a while.”

“I figured as much,” Jed nodded. Then after a long pause, “So what would you like from me?”

Knowing intellectually what was healthy for a relationship and experiencing for yourself are two very different things. Mila knew what she needed to tell him and still she hesitated.

Jed leaned forward so the cool skin of his forehead bumped against hers. His breath wasn’t hot like Kody’s had been. Everything about him was different, though not at all unpleasant.

She was painfully aware of the throbbing in her chest. “It would be selfish of me to ask you to stay here.”

He gave a soft chuckle, his cool breath blowing against her lips. “Will that stop you then?”

She shivered. If she asked, she knew he would stay. He would be patient and remain at her side. It wasn’t in his nature to remain so stagnant in a place like this. He didn’t need other people like she was used to having around her.

She could become his anchor and tether him to this spot. Possibly forever, if she wanted. She just had to be selfish.

She’d never been selfish before. Being in the service of someone else meant that their wishes always came first. It had honestly been unthinkable for her to assert her wants over someone else.

Worse, she almost resented him for making it so easy.

She leaned back, away from his face. “I feel like I have a purpose here. Raising Rori, teaching the pups, expanding the packs, even here with the witches, I’m making communication between species easier.”

“But,” he pressed. “But, I don’t fit in, do I?”

Mila’s head hung.

“You don’t have to feel guilty for making your place in this world, cher.” Jed stretched out a pale finger to draw her face back toward his.

His blood red eyes looked into her own. Her chest tightened even more painfully. She wanted to rip her skin apart. She wanted to cry and demand that he stay.

He was so cool. So adaptable. He made living forever on your own look easy.

He smiled in a way that showed his sharp, vampiric teeth. “This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you.”

Mila’s brow creased. Surely, this was her rejecting him. What would it mean if he said he wasn’t giving up?

“You need time to get to know yourself and if I have anything, it’s time.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m okay with sharing you because I know you’re worth it, but I know that it’s not exactly a wolf’s nature to share. So I can wait. You are worth waiting for.”

His lips brushed gently against Mila’s. She warmed at the touch, her face flushing. She still wanted to cry, but instead, she smiled.

“Thank you,” she breathed.

Jed was up in a fluid motion. “I’ll see you again, cher. Wolves don’t live forever like I do and even if it takes until the continents collapse and it’s just us immortals in the sea, I’ll find you.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. Then he was gone. Like a wisp, he had disappeared. Mila sat quietly, waiting for Rori to finish his meal. When he was done, he came to rest his head against her shoulder, cooing softly.

She stroked his head, a sad smile still on her lips even though she knew there was no reason to be sad. It wouldn’t be forever because she was forever. She could live out Kody’s entire lifetime with him and it wouldn’t be a drop in the ocean of her existence. Parting with Jed for now was something she could bear.

Rori slept next to her that night, his little treelike body curled up like a sleeping animal. She watched him spring out of bed the next morning to eat his first breakfast. Then practically skipping to the door to greet Kody.

Kody noticed the look in Mila’s eyes. His nostrils flared slightly, sniffing for changes. When he realized who was missing, he didn’t say a word. Mila slid her tiny hand into his large one. Rori rushed on ahead, excited for the day, but Mila and Kody took their time.

They walked leisurely toward the wolf packs. Toward a future that Mila couldn’t predict. Part of her still hesitated. She still worried for Rori’s safety in the pack. She still wondered if he’d ever be able to feel accepted by them.

Then she looked up at Kody’s face. He wasn’t as gently understanding as Jed. He didn’t have hundreds of years of wisdom to look back on to be able to sympathize or even fully understand, but he met her eyes with a burning passion.

Being with him wouldn’t be as easy as being with Jed. She wasn’t able to give herself to him with the same ease as it had been with Jed. Kody had so many more responsibilities, he couldn’t simply make her the singular center of his world, but that was something she decided she liked about him.

One day, it would be nice to settle down with Jed or someone like him. But at this time, she was excited to be a part of something. Within a year, she would agree to be mated to Kody. They wouldn’t be able to have biological children between them, but they had an entire pack care for and Rori.