Chapter XXIX: Closure

Arcangelo sat slumped on the sofa, rubbing his forehead to try and alleviate the headache pounding against his skull as he muttered incoherently under his breath. He jumped in surprise when something cold touched his hand, glancing up, he offered Vincent a weak smile as he took the glass of scotch offered to him.
Taking a sip, he felt the sofa dip as Vincent sat beside him, leaning back and throwing back the contents of the drinks before refilling it.
"I'm the one who's had the rough day and you're the one downing my scotch like some starved man," Arcangelo spoke as he leaned forward and looked over his shoulder at his best friend who downed his second glass faster than the first.
"Hey, your hell is my hell," Vincent stated with a raised glass. "And besides, the scotch is good."
"Then you bloody enjoy it rather than drowning in it." His best friend spoke with a smile as he put the decanter out of their reach. "Idiot,"
"Bitch,"
"Asshole,"
"W-" Vincent started to say as he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Both Arcangelo and him looking up and straightening as Rosalie walked in, escorted by Major.
Heaving a sigh, he went and retook his seat beside Vincent as he gestured for Rosalie to settle before them. Nervously fidgeting in her place she sat on the edge of the couch as Arcangelo dismissed Major with a nod. The three of them sat in silence as Vincent helped himself to another glass of scotch, earning a glare from Arcangelo as he made his way back.
"Before we get into your little 'errand'..." Arcangelo started, running a hand through his hair. "I want to know if you see what you did wrong here."
Rosalie nodded to his words as she fisted her hands, still a little shaken, and even more uncertain.
"Then tell me what you did wrong," Arcangelo said as he leaned back.
"I left without telling you, and I should have informed you beforehand or discussed the matter with you."
"Wrong!" Vincent chimed before his best friend could say anything. "You don't fucking tell in this household, you ask for permission to leave. No one leaves without the Boss's say so"
"Vincent-" Arcangelo sighed in exasperation as he rubbed his eyes.
"-I don't think these mafia rules apply to his girlfriend," Rosalie stated calmly with a look that could have been interpreted as smug.
"Oh, you think you're something special?" Vincent laughed in her face. "His best friend can't leave without his permission and you think his girlfriend can?"
"Vincent-"
"-Really, Rosalie? I thought you smarter than that."
"Enough!" Arcangelo growled at them before Rosalie could retort, giving a warning look at the both of them before rubbing a hand over his face. "He is right, you ask for permission and you did no such thing. Because of you, Salvatore got into trouble as well."
"Is he okay?" Rosalie asked as she bit her lower lip uncertainly, staring up at Arcangelo.
"He's fine." Vincent snapped as Arcangelo held his head in his hands, ready to call him out.
A silence fell over the both of them as Rosalie stared at the two men before her, Vincent looking somewhere off into the distance as Arcangelo sat leaning forward, his shoulders slumped and his head held in his eyes, clearly trying to gather his thoughts as he was much too exhausted to deal with the both of them.
Slowly getting out of her seat she made her way towards the two before she kneeled in the space between Arcangelo's legs, her hand on his knee as he looked up at the sudden touch.
"I'm sorry." Rosalie apologized as she looked up at him. "I didn't know that I had to ask your permission because I had never gone anywhere without you. I'm not entirely familiar with the way things works here and I got you worried about me because of it."
"Not worried..." Arcangelo shook his head. "You had me terrified."
Instantly Rosalie winced as that was much worse.
"You had me terrified, Rosalie." He told her gently, cupping her chin in his fingers, lightly caressing her jaw. "The threat hasn't been eliminated and every second of every day I am plagued by the fear that I'd lose you, too. I've lost so many people in my life, that I can't stand the prospect of losing you as well. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you, Rosalie. And when no one had any idea where you were, and you weren't picking up your phone..." Arcangelo trailed as he chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head as Rosalie swallowed thickly.
"Believe me, the reason I went was-"
"Oh, I know where you went alright." Arcangelo nodded, standing up and walking over to the decanter as he poured himself another glass. "I know exactly where you went, and what you asked for and what you were looking for." He informed as he took a sip of the drink.
"But, Rosalie, did it ever occur to you to wonder why I never pursued the matter?" He asked her. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to know?"
"And torture yourself by falsely blaming yourself?" Rosalie asked in astonishment, a sordid smile crawling across Arcangelo's lips at her words.
"As you said, I am self-destructive."
"And to your questions, yes I did think about why you never pursued the matter," She informed while standing up from her kneeling position and walking towards him. "Initially, I was naïve enough to think that you just wanted to blame yourself, even if it wasn't your fault, again, the self-destructive tendencies." She stated as she plucked the glass from Arcangelo's hands taking a sip of the alcoholic drink.
"But then day-in-day-out, I watched you work, an entirely different side of you and I realized that it was not due to self-destructive tendencies as I claim. And you never left any matter unfinished. So it occurred to me that you either knew, or it was too big for you to tackle, because after watching you work and hearing you arguing over the phone, it hit me, that you're the exact opposite of self-destructive, you're self-reliant. But I can't seem to put the pieces together when I think about them in terms of what you told me the other night at my apartment."
"Rosalie..." Arcangelo sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face. "Tell me, what am I supposed to do with the information once I have it?"
She stared at him in astonishment as it struck her that he didn't want to know because he didn't know what to do with it.
"Get closure?" She asked him in bewilderment. "Stop blaming yourself, for a start. And if you want revenge then go get it? I mean, what do you mean what are you supposed to do with the information?"
He stared at her in silence as she rubbed a hand over her forehead, taken aback by his words and wondering how to make him see her perspective. Sighing, she put away the glass before cupping his face in her hand, her eyes roaming over his features as a mask of indifference settled on his face.
"Arcangelo..." Rosalie spoke quietly, running a hand through his hair. "You have been hurting yourself for so long...Don't you think...it's time to forgive yourself. You're only human, Tesoro. And you're allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to fall apart sometimes. You are allowed to hurt and feel pain too much. You are allowed to ache and get jealous or angry. But just...be easy on yourself, and allow yourself to grow. Let yourself learn. Just let yourself be. Arcangelo. You're only human and sometimes we get upset with ourselves but then we have to forgive ourselves, too, don't we?"
His shoulders slumped as Arcangelo lowered his gaze causing Rosalie to duck to meet his eyes.
"What do you say, hmm?" She asked him quietly, pulling him into a hug him. "Do you want to find out the truth about what happened?"
"I already know." He murmured into her hair, as Rosalie momentarily froze but didn't pull away, allowing the silence to elongate in order for him to fill it in. "After Salv told me what happened, I made a call."
"What'd you find out?"
"You're right. It wasn't my doing. It was actually an enemy of the Kings' who wanted to put them out of business by finishing their customers, so they planned it out and caused a massacre at the auction. And the Kings' eventually found them and had a bloodbath of their own. That's why they resumed their long-standing tradition of auctions after 4 years." He told her as he hugged her tightly.
"So now we know the truth," Rosalie whispered gently, stroking the back of his head as he remained silent. "How do you feel about all this?"
"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." He admitted solemnly. "I mean...okay, I guess I'm glad that I wasn't the cause of their death...But...what am I supposed to do? I've hated myself all my life and now self-loathing has become a part of me and I don't know how to get rid of it. And I can't even get revenge because they are all dead so that doesn't work..."
"You have my best interests on your mind, right?" Rosalie asked him softly.
"Of course," Arcangelo stated, pulling away to look at her in confusion. "Always."
"Then treat yourself like you'd treat me." She started, a small smile quirking at her lips at his bewilderment. "Don't think thoughts you wouldn't want me to think about myself. Don't do things that you wouldn't want me to do. Don't hurt yourself in ways you wouldn't want me to."
"I-I should..." Arcangelo trailed as he looked at her with amusement as she was smiling back at him. "I should treat myself like I would treat you?"
"Yes."
"Like a princess?"
"Like a King."
"You're...you're joking, right?"
"No, I'm serious." She shook her head at him. "If you treat yourself like you'd treat me, maybe it won't bring you to love yourself, but it would end the self-loathing. We can try it out, see how it works and if it isn't working, we'll try something different, okay?" She asked him softly, taking hold of his hands and placing a kiss on his knuckles as he stood before her with eyebrows knitted in thought as he pondered it.
"But-"
"-Just a test trial," Rosalie interjected, seeing his uncertainty. "Just try it out, and if it doesn't work, you can stop."
"How would I know if it's working?"
"You'll feel good." She smiled at him. "You'll feel comfortable in your skin and wouldn't want to break the mirror whenever you look at your reflection."
Arcangelo looked down at her as he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips at the idea she had presented. Shaking his head, he leaned down to place a kiss on her lips before a disgusted groan had them pull apart.
"Get a room you two!" Vincent exclaimed as they both had forgotten that he was still there.
"You get out of this one." Arcangelo rebuffed, wrapping his arms around Rosalie's waist as he pulled her closer, as she giggled at their antics.
"With pleasure," His best friend stated as he jumped off the sofa and slammed the door shut behind him, both Arcangelo and Rosalie glancing at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter.