Chapter 50

**SCARLET**

It’d been a week since Mom and Thomas returned to Manhattan, and it’d been eight days since I last saw Luke. Every day, my stomach felt tight, and my chest felt heavy. I tested myself; how long could I endure, and to what extent could I hold back?
The food didn’t taste right. My classes felt like a burden. I couldn’t sleep well for the past few days. In the last two days, I checked my phone to see if I had a message, hoping to hurt myself more if I saw his name. But I realized that it hurt even more when I found nothing.
I was sleepless. I had no appetite, and I felt that I had lost weight. I already lost it. Still, I was so proud of myself. I didn’t beg for him, make a scene, or stalk him, not like I did before.
My ninth day made no difference. Same routine. I was getting up in the morning bored, going to school only to gawk, and going to the cafeteria only to stare at the food. It’s the same pasta I loved, but it’s just food in red for me. Nothing more. Not even appetizing.
“This should not go on.” Katherine finally said. “You are literally lifeless right now! I’m scared, and I’m worried about you. We’re all going to graduate in a month. Are you really messing this up now?” She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, followed by a heavy sigh.
“I told him I didn’t want to see him again.”
“Now you are talking. You know I understand, right? I don’t think I could be sane if it was Nate.”
“But I want to see him. I’m so, so mad I said those words to him.” I observed my lips shaking. I was about to cry again.
“I said I understand, but I don’t like what’s happening with you. How long are you planning to keep going on like this?”
At times like this, I was still thankful that I had Katherine. How could I even lie to this beautiful soul?
“You’re the best person I’ve ever known my whole life.”
“Oh, Scar.” She hugged me, soothing my back with her hand. “You know I’ll always be here for you, right? Like how you’ve been there for me when I needed you.”
I searched for her face. “What should I do?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. It’s difficult to have such a relationship in the first place.”
“He will never see me again.” My tears dropped on my cheeks.
“Of course, he will see you. Whether you like it or not, you’ll see each other. Your mother married his dad.”
“Can I just run away?”
“You’re not in your right mind right now. You’ll live with them under the same roof for a month. I still didn’t get why you told him you don’t want to see him when you can’t even stand the words you said to him.”
“What am I going to do without you, Kath?”
She heaved a sigh. “I’m not leaving you. Come on, Scar.”
“But you’re going to Scotland after you graduate, right?”
“You’re still thinking about that? I don’t want to leave, but I must, you know?”
“I know. Just like my Mom wanted me to live with her when I graduate.”
“I have an idea.” Her face brightened, and she grinned. “Why don’t you just come with me to Scotland?”
I gazed up at her, gawking for a few seconds.
“But Nate... He’ll be with you. I don’t want to ruin your perfect time together.”
“Do you think Nate would like to leave, seeing you like this? Just come with me. I can ask my Uncle for another position in his company for you. We’re going to work together. Just think of this. You might even forget about your stepbrother and meet someone else. Then, you can come back home at ease.”
“You know I can’t forget about him. He’s my first love.”
“I just don’t think he’s your soul mate, you know? Your real love could be a Scottish guy.” She wiggled her eyebrows, grinning at me. “Who knows? They have the sexiest accent.”
I suddenly chuckled for no real reason. I didn’t know where it came from. Katherine made me feel at ease. I was so lucky to have her as my friend. The painful fact was my friends were right. I knew a healthy relationship with Luke was impossible. Even if it seemed to be working, we would definitely have to break it off later. We couldn’t be together for a long time because we’re stepsiblings. There had to be an end. It was the most evident truth about us.
Though what Katherine said was inviting, Mom would not approve. We’d been away from each other since I started college. However, living under the same roof as Luke would be awkward. I wouldn’t be able to resist my feelings. He just had to find another woman of his type, and he could forget all about me. I didn’t want to see that. I needed to consider things again and talk about my career with Mom. And a Scottish boyfriend might be nice.
“Hey!” Katherine snapped her fingers in my face.
“Huh?”
“Gawking into space again? I said, why don’t we have fun tonight?”
“I don’t like that look.”
“Don’t worry, we’re just going to have a drink. I found a new place with live acoustic music. I know a friend who works there. Sounds fun?”
“Sounds fun,” I said, but my voice was flat, and I almost whispered.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on; you will love it.”
It was purely girls’ night tonight. She said it was our turn. Katherine asked Nate not to come over because he was already with me the last time. However, I didn’t have fun when I spoke to Nate that night. I just cried at him while he listened. I hoped this night would be different.
Katherine and I went to the bar near our apartment. I could already hear the plucking of the guitar and a female voice singing in a husky voice. It was very melodic and refreshing.
“We should come here every day,” I suggested. I shifted my head to Katherine. She was stunning in a peach-colored dress with semi-high-heeled silver shoes. I wore one of my favorites: a Chanel royal blue dress and cream-colored pointed-toe shoes.
“I knew you’d like it. And sure, I’ll join you whenever you like.” She smiled sweetly.
We entered and found our seats. It wasn’t too crowded, but it was elegant and peaceful. Our table was in the right corner, a little farther from the acoustic band. The vocalist was singing ‘When I Was Drinking’ by Hem.
“We should come early next time. I would like to sit in front.” I told Katherine.
“No problem. What do you want to drink?” she asked.
“I’ll have vodka.”
“Great, I’ll have the same. Wait for me here,” she said, then she stood up and went to the counter.
I set my eyes back on the stage. I watched the guitarist swiftly change the music to another song. His plucking style changed. The vocalist began singing another tune.
I smiled at their next song. ‘Our Voices’ by Matthew Barber—a song I knew by heart. I remembered how I wanted to become a singer when I was a kid. Mom even sent me to a music school, but I stopped when she got sick from overworking. I didn’t go back after that.
Katherine knew how to help me, and she knew I liked music. She didn’t argue with me but stayed by my side, listening to my shit. Now, this…
She came back a few minutes later with the waiter. He served us our drinks and snacks. “Enjoy the night, ladies,” the waiter smiled.
“Thanks, Joseph. This is my best friend, Scarlet. She wanted to hear good acoustic music. Joseph is Nate’s roommate, Scar.”
“Best. Our music here is the best. Welcome to Episode.” We shook hands.
“You’re Nate’s roommate?” I asked.
“I work here at night. My older brother over there runs this place.” He pointed out a man on the stage.
“The one playing the drums?” I blinked my eyes.
“No, the guitarist. He owns this place. So, I have to go back to work. Enjoy the night,” he said.
“Thanks, Joseph.” I smiled at him.
Katherine grinned meaningfully. “Good looking, isn’t he?”
I shrugged. “I guess so.” The man had a good build. Utterly charming and with a boy-next-door smile. “Yeah.”
“He’s gay,” Katherine smiled.
“Oh.”
“Nate knows, of course, but Joseph wouldn’t dare touch him. He has a hot boyfriend.”
“Don’t let Nate hear that.” I chuckled, shaking my head.
“But over there… His older brother is hot too. See?”
I stared at the man on the stage. He seemed charming; he had broad shoulders, a chiseled jaw, and long, delicate fingers, just right for the guitar strings.
Yes, he was hot. Other than that, his voice sounded smooth. He should sing a solo. What was going on with me? I was not falling for this again.
Katherine chuckled. “Would you like to sing on the stage? A special request from an audience?”
“What? No, don’t do that. I don’t have practice.”
“Oh, come on, you always sing Ley De Newton in the bathroom every morning. I’ll ask Joseph to let you sing on the stage.”
“Don’t, please. It’s embarrassing.” I flushed.
“Fine, not tonight. Tomorrow maybe. Let’s just enjoy the drinks,” she said and took a sip of her apple vodka.
I looked back at the stage again, watching how the singer melodiously sang the song. Then my eyes shifted to the guitarist’s handsome face, down to his fingers and his guitar. It was a peaceful night to momentarily forget my issues.