Hiding Emotions

Alpha Ricardo's POV
''Is everything set?'' I asked and got a quick nod from him. ''So you are taking the body of your father home?'' The doctor asked, curious. ''Yes, he will be buried in the next twenty-four hours.'' I explained with a deep sigh. I was doing my best to hide my feelings.
''You know you can keep him here at the hospital mortuary.'' He suggested, but I bluntly shook my head, ''He was an alpha and the bodies of alphas are not allowed to be preserved.'' I explained and got a quick nod from him, but he did not say a word.
''Very well then, I'll drive in front of the ambulance.'' I explained while the doctor nodded his head and said, ''I'm so sorry for your loss.'' He said, while I just flashed him a weak smile and walked away.
With a heavy heart, I left the hospital and met Jayson beside my car, while the ambulance was parked behind my car. ''Are you okay, can you drive?'' Jayson asked worried, while I just nodded my head as a response and got into the car.
Inhaling deeply, I put on the car and drove off while the ambulance drove behind me. Silence filled the whole place as Jayson and I didn't say a word. Deep down in me, I wanted to bust out in tears, but I couldn't, my eyes were dried and my thoughts blank.
''Won't you set your wolf free?'' Jayson broke the silence. I wanted to ask him how he knew I had subdued my wolf, but then I remembered that was one of Jayson's gifts. ''I'd prefer to stay alone for now.'' I responded in a whisper.
Jayson didn't say a word, rather, he lowered down the window and sucked in a deep breath. ''Are you prepared?'' He asked while staring outside the window. I knew he was talking about the position of being the Alpha, and sincerely I had no idea. This was never the way I planned it.
''Time will tell.'' I murmured and drove inside the mansion.
As I drove in, I saw all the gammas of the different tribes of our pack were all lined up in a straight line, staring at the ambulance behind me.
I sucked a deep breath, put off the engine, and composed myself before getting out of the car. I walked away from the car and stood before the twelve gammas of our pack, who lowered their heads in respect to me. Without saying a word, I stared at the ambulance for a moment before moving my attention back to them.
''Your alpha, my father is dead.'' I announced in a strong husky voice while my face held no emotion. I heard a heavy sigh from the gammas as they all shook their heads in pain and disbelief. ''Accept our sympathy.'' Gamma William spoke up, while I just nodded my head and signaled dad's corpse to be brought out of the ambulance.
The ambulance was opened and dad's body, which was covered with a white cloth, was placed on a stretcher.
''He will be kept in his room until the funeral, which is taking place tomorrow night.'' I said and turned to Jayson. '' Where is your father?'' I asked Jayson because his father was the beta of our pack. ''He is on his way here.'' Jayson responded, while I just nodded my head, stole a glimpse of dad's body and turned to leave.
With heavy feet, I walked into the sitting room and the first person I met was Aunt Cara. ''Rick…'' She called with a sob, while I drew in a deep breath to suppress the tears that were threatening to fall on my cheeks. ''He is gone.'' I whispered in a strong voice, but my pain could be noticed. ''No!'' Aunt Cara cried out and fell to the ground. ''Please show them the way to his room. His body should be kept there for tomorrow's funeral.'' I said, and took the stairs to my room.
With a shaking hand, I held the doorknob and opened the door. When I stepped into my room, I shut the door behind me. Slowly, I dropped to the floor and rested my back on the door.
My mind was blank, so were my emotions. Ever since I found out dad and his mistress killed mother, I wished him nothing but death, and now I wondered why it hurt so much. ''Help me, moon goddess.'' I murmured a silent prayer in my head and closed my eyes in pain, and this time I couldn't hold back my tears. ''What should I do?'' I asked no one in particular because my wolf was subdued, and I believed it was best I keep him that way for the moment, so I wouldn't destroy things with my abilities.
With my heart aching with pain, I stared at mother's portrait on the wall and sucked a deep breath. ''Are you happy now?'' I asked with a weak smile. ''The two people who had a hand in your death are dead.'' I murmured in pain and buried my head in between my thighs. The pain in my heart was unbearable, just like when I lost Mom.
''Ricardo?'' I heard Dad's beta voice in my head. ''Can you hear me, Ricardo?'' He asked, curious after not getting a response from me. I took off my head from my thighs and sucked in a deep breath to compose myself before responding. ''I can hear you.'' I responded with the best composed voice I could gather. ''I'm here in the mansion.'' He announced, ''I'll be on my way out.'' I responded and ended the mind Link.
''You can do this.'' I comforted myself and stood to my feet. I left the door, walked into my room and stood before the mirror. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I noticed my green eyes were clouded with tears and my hair was scattered all over my face. I realized I looked terrible and no one should see me in such a condition.
''You can do it, Ricardo.'' I sucked a deep breath, picked up a comb from the mirror table and combed my hair backward. After combing my hair, I walked into the bathroom, splashed water on my face and wiped my it with a towel.
After taking a proper look at myself in the mirror, I left the bathroom, went back to my room and changed into a different shirt. I walked out of the room and took the stairs down to the sitting room. As I climbed down the stairs, I saw Sir Antony, the beta of our pack, seated on one of the one-seater couches. The moment he saw me climbing down the stairs, he stood to his feet and stared at me with a blank look on his face, despite the pain he was going through. I mean, he was best friends with dad, but he was putting on a blank, emotionless face just like me. It's really ridiculous how we all have to hide our emotions from everyone. That was the first rule to be a leader in the red moon pack. Never let your emotions bring you down.
''Sir Antony.'' I greeted, ''Ricardo!'' He greeted while he slightly lowered his head, ''You don't have to do that.'' I groaned and sat on one of the couches, ''Please have a seat.'' I said, gesturing him to take the seat before me.
He took the seat before me, but did not say a word, waiting for me to begin the conversation. After a minute of silence, I decided to speak up, ''His body is laid in his room.'' I announced and got a nod from him. ''You'll officially announce his death to the pack …'' I tried speaking, but he cut me off, ''I think you should be the one to do it.'' ''No!'' I objected quickly.
There were so many reasons I did not want to officially announce the death of my father. One reason was that if I had to announce father's death to the pack, then I would have to shift into my wolf, and I didn't want to.
''You have to do it, Ricardo. You are the closest family to him alive, seeing that your sister is still in a coma and…'' ''She is not my sister!'' I groaned and stood on my feet. For a minute, I forgot I had a big problem at hand.
''I'm sorry if I triggered your anger.'' He apologized while I tiredly massaged my forehead and said, ''Fine, I'll do it tonight.'' I murmured and walked to the bar at a corner in the sitting room. Just when I was about to take out a bottle from the shelves, a voice spoke up, ''Ricardo?'' The voice asked, ''Whoever is this should know that I'm mourning my father's death and is not allowed to make a mind link with me unless it's really important.'' I responded angrily.
''Apologies, this is Doctor Stephen, I just wanted to inform you that your sister is miraculously out of coma, but she isn't taking things really well.''