Chapter Twenty-Three

Lilith
“I am fucking exhausted,” I say, dragging my ass into Nok’s truck. He wanted to pick me up this morning. “I took one of my sister’s sleeping pills last night and it has made me so fucking groggy.”

He drags me closer. “Did you have fun?”

I nod and yawn. “Yeah, we just watched movies and ate junk.”

“So…” He wets his lips and narrows his eyes. “You didn’t come by my house last night?”

I give him a look. “Are you kidding? I swear I didn’t even leave home last night. Why?”

“Dad said he saw somebody who looked like you just standing outside our house last night.”

My heart stops. “For real?”

“Would your sister… no… stupid question. He was probably seeing things.” He pulls me in for a kiss so deep it leaves me breathless. “How is she?”

“She’s a lot better, thanks.” I place my hand on his thigh and snuggle into his side. “So your dad saw someone outside your house? That’s weird.”

“He said she was just standing there, staring, this dark shape in the night.”

“Y’all should invest in some floodlights.”

“They scare the animals.”

I quirk a brow. “You don’t want to scare away bears and mountain lions?”

“It’s their home too,” he replies, smiling as he maneuvers the car with ease. “We leave them alone; they leave us alone for the most part.”

“Coming from the guy who littered on our first date.”

He pinches my thigh. “I was gonna clean it up. And… that wasn’t our first date.”

“It wasn’t?”

“That night was a disaster.”

“Yep.”

“Maybe we can redo it?” I’m surprised he’s even asking. “Don’t look at me like that. I said I was sorry.”

“You didn’t, not really, but I forgive you anyway.”

He raises my hand to his lips. “Forgiveness in my tribe is such a powerful thing. I appreciate you giving me that.” We share this sweet moment in silence, but he ruins it by adding, “And I forgive you for falling asleep after I ate you two nights ago.”

“I fucked you, didn’t I?”

“You have no idea how painful my balls were.”

I laugh loudly. “I fucked you though. I’m exempt from your ire based on that fact alone.”

“You certainly did.” His grin is devious and longing. I feel it in my core, just his smile turns me on. “Are we still going to that party later?”

I nod. “Fuck yeah.”

“Your sister is okay with that?”

“Of course. I’ll just spend Saturday with her.” He kisses my hand again and then bites my wrist making me squeal, pull free, and slap him upside the head. “Dude, pay attention before we die in a car accident.”

“That sucks though, I was going to invite you to work with me this weekend. I’ve got two survival role-plays booked in.”

“Sunday?”

He nods. “Sunday it is then.”

We head to school and I grin condescendingly at Barbie when we pass her standing by her car alone. Her friends have ditched her it seems. It’s less than what she deserves for what she tried to do to Nokosi.

When he sees me staring at her, he hooks his arm around my neck and kisses my hair.

“Jealous?” I mouth at her and she looks away with a trembling jaw.

Stupid bitch.

She’s lucky we haven’t handed her in to the cops, but then something tells me Nokosi doesn’t have a good relationship with them. And what kind of hypocrite would that make me anyway after all I’ve done?

People stare as we walk in together, intrigued by our relationship. Not that we care.

His best school buddies Ethan and Payne meet us on the way.

“So you’re a thing now?” Payne asks, pushing his trimmed hair back with a dark hand.

Nokosi nods. “Yep.”

“Well… welcome to the pack, Lilith.” Ethan grabs me from Nok and holds me tight to his side, I know it’s to wind Nok up but I don’t like it so I dig him in the ribs with my elbow and stomp on his foot.

He cries out and staggers as I return to the crook of Nok’s arm.

“Don’t touch her, she doesn’t like it,” Loki comments as he passes and flashes me a grin. “Sup, Lil, lunch later?”

“She has plans,” Nokosi growls aggressively and I realize that we’re likely a match made in psycho heaven, also known as hell.

I tip back to look at him and accept his kiss. I really enjoy kissing him. It might be my new favorite thing to do.

“Sorry,” I say to Loki but I’m not sorry in the slightest. I don’t care about him or his feelings. Not that he’s upset. He only hangs with me for the gossip.

“Not sorry,” Payne adds, shouldering past him and sticking his tongue out.

I wonder if Payne is an asshole but swiftly push that thought from my head. I have to convince my sister to let us stay. Mom won’t care. She can sleep in the office wherever she goes and leave us here, she can just send the money or something until I get a job that provides well enough. The main issue is my sister, not just her illness but also her other needs. I can’t just deny her those and I doubt I’ll be able to convince her otherwise anyway.

My phone rings in my pocket, withheld again. I ignore it as always and stuff it back in my bag.

“What’s wrong?” Nokosi asks.

“Absolutely nothing,” I lie and reach for my locker. “I’m happier than I’ve been in forever.”

“Want to skip and fuck?”

I laugh and move my head to the side when he kisses my neck. “Don’t tempt me.”



***



The party is heaving. It’s insane but it’s mostly outside so it’s not so bad.

I watch somebody snort cocaine off the porch railing, and somebody else do a handstand on a keg and drink until beer spills into their eyes.

Nokosi and I stick together, hand in hand as we make our way around back to where the people he knows are waiting. I’m surprised to see Vienna here with Bobby and a couple of the other res kids. They all wave, all but Vienna who glares at me with dark eyes and pursed, thick lips.

I’d love to punch her in the face purely because that face has been kissed by the man I feel so entirely obsessed with. I hope this feeling never dies.

Nokosi grabs us both a beer from the cooler by the steps.

“Try not to pass out on me tonight, huh?” he says, smiling in the dark.

“Planning on sneaking me into your room?”

“Dad’s not home, no sneaking required.”

I wet my lips and grin. “And Nash is picking us up.”

“Exactly.”

“Well then, let’s get toasted.”

“I love toast!” somebody drunkenly shouts, and the house starts cheering.

The fuck?

“People are weird,” I murmur.

“Yup.” We reach his group of friends and I’m introduced to each of them, all but Vienna who won’t look at either of us. She’s really pissed off.

You snooze you lose and all that.

I’ll admit it. I’m smug.

“How long were you two dating?” I ask Nokosi quietly when we sit across from her on wicker furniture.

“Two years,” he replies, and I almost spray my beer everywhere. “On and off. We weren’t dating, we were fooling around.”

I gape at him. “Two fucking years?”

“On and off,” he repeats, grinning at me. I shake my head, but he turns my face back to him. “Two years on and off and I didn’t feel a fraction of how I feel when I’m with you.”

“You mean horny?”

“Well, there is that.” He grins, sliding his hand up my jean-clad thigh. “But I’m talking more about the passion and excitement. Whenever I’m with you, I feel like I never know what’s going to happen.” He winks at me and his smile broadens to one of mischief. “Such as, are we gonna murder someone today? Or maybe rob a bank? Or maybe you’ll push me off a cliff? Who knows?”

I snigger into his shoulder and then rest my healing temple against it.

“I’m not that bad.” Oh, but I really am. This past year isn’t full of good deeds in the slightest. In fact, I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done that’s good. Does saving Nok and Joseph from those assholes at the gas station count? Or did I fuck up my good karma when I robbed them? I drain my beer and listen to the conversation. I’ve never been one to join in in conversations, I like to listen.

They go back and forth, bantering and chatting about things that don’t interest me, until they finally find a subject I can’t ignore.

“Aren’t you a twin, Lilith?” Payne asks and I wonder how he knows that, but then figure Nok probably told them yesterday when I was off school looking after her.

I nod. “Yep. Why?”

“Do you have like a psychic link to her?” a girl beside Vienna asks. I think her name is Marla.

“Psychotic link maybe,” Bobby puts in playfully. I throw my empty bottle at him which he catches with ease and a pleasant laugh, and I catch the new one he tosses back.

My hand aches as I try to twist the cap off. “We do sometimes, like I can usually tell when she’s sad or hurt, even when she’s not around. Not always… but when we were six, she broke her leg when playing at a friend’s and I was at home and I started screaming. I just had this horrific pain in my leg. They had to x-ray both of us despite the fact only she was injured. I was fine but there was no denying the pain we were both in.”

“That’s so weird,” Vienna mutters, rolling her eyes.

“Are you the same in most ways?” the girl beside her asks, seeming to be quite intrigued by us. Some people are. They love the idea of having somebody identical in their life. It’s not always what it’s cracked up to be.

“No, we’re so different.”

“How?”

God, she asks so many questions and I still can’t get this fucking cap off the bottle. “Willow was always the bolder one of us both, super flirtatious. Sexy. Funny. I was always more withdrawn, sarcastic, less likely to join in at parties.” That last part was a massive clue to get them to leave me alone.

“I’m sorry she’s sick,” Ethan says earnestly, leaning over Payne to pat my arm.

“Open this,” I demand of Nok and thrust the bottle into his hands. He gives it one easy twist and it pops open, but it fizzes over from all the shaking.

I suck his thumb clean, making him growl and bring my lips to his.

We make out for a while, giggling and laughing together when the others tell us to separate. We don’t separate. We don’t ever separate. I never want to separate from him again.

Something changed between Nokosi and me. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But it changed and here we are. I’ve never felt so happy and out of control.

“Why are we at this stupid party when your house is empty?” I whisper in his ear.

He tries to think of a reason but relents with a lusting smile touching his lips. “Let’s go?”

“Let’s go,” I confirm, excited at the prospect of spending the entire night in bed with him.

“Nokosi, wait,” Vienna calls when we stand. She glances at me and her lips turn up with a sneer. “Can I have a word?”

Nok glances at me as though seeing if I’m okay with it.

I don’t care. So long as she doesn’t touch him.

“Remember what I said about your truck,” I whisper in his ear and he chuckles under his breath before following Vienna across the yard.

I watch her fold her arms, unfold them, fold them, unfold them, and then start waving them around. She shifts from hip to hip as she yammers on, face expressive and annoyed.

Not to be petty or whatever but she’s said more than a word.

“Nok,” I call impatiently, and she really glares at me now. I smirk back. Silly bitch wants to play, I’ll play.

Nok holds up his finger and touches Vienna’s elbow to get her attention. Oh hell no. I’m on the edge. He’s touching her. Fuck. I’m so mad.

What is wrong with me?

But then when I think about it, it’s always there. This rage at life, this anger that I keep suppressed the best I can.

Whatever he says to her has her looking at the floor with a sad expression on her face.

I move to him, figuring they’re done and Nok takes my hand. “See you later, Vienna.”

“Fuck you, Nok,” she replies, and he hooks an arm around my waist to stop me from ripping her shit-looking hair out.

“Behave,” he whispers against my ear and turns me back the way we entered.

“What did she want?”

He beams at me, smug satisfaction all over his face. “She wanted me to leave you and be with her.”

I almost laugh. “Did you tell her that’s not an option?”

“I offered her a three-way.”

I smack his chest and bite his lip, squealing when he bends and puts his shoulder into my stomach and lifts me from the ground.

We enter his house attached at the lips, much to the annoyance of Nash who declares, “Guess I’ll put my headphones in.”

“Run,” Nok whispers and I squeal as he chases me up the stairs and into the bedroom.