CHAPTER 16

Few Months Passed
ANALISE'S POV

Life is not peaceful anymore. Now I can understand why people say Life is not a bed of roses.
I used to think that life is so easy. No matter what happens you should never let yourself down.
Even at the time when my parents died, I held myself up. I didn't let myself succumb to darkness. I struggled and worked day and night.
Luciano has not hit me except one or two times.

Life is pretty boring nowadays. I have nothing to do all day and for some days I am not feeling well which made everything worse.
I am feeling dizzy all the time and my head hurts like crazy. I have taken some painkillers but they are not helping.
Now I am feeling worse since yesterday. Yesterday when I was eating breakfast I vomited. After that, I couldn't eat anything.
Whatever I eat comes out. Luciano was worried and wanted to take me to the doctor but I refused.

I don't know what should I do but one thing I know for sure is that I don't want to go to the doctor.
Another strange thing I have noticed in me is that I want to be with him all the time. Why I am having this feeling? My body craves him.
Currently, I am having breakfast and it is hard to eat anything. It is eleven in the morning and too late for breakfast but I woke up late.
Everything looks bad. Chiara gave me some juice which helped me with my headache but still I am not feeling good.

I look at pancakes in front of me and I feel like everything is coming out. I don't want to eat it anymore. I leave it on the table and come back to my room.
Maybe I should take a bath. Hopefully, I will feel better. I put some bubbles solution and other things in water and lie down in it.
Warm water soothes my muscles.
When water starts to get cold, I get out of it and stand but suddenly my head spins. I put my hand on the wall to steady myself but I am feeling dizzy. The bathroom
walls moving around.

All of a sudden, my stomach churns and everything comes out of my mouth. I vomit in the toilet.
I flush it and continue to sit so that I can regain my senses. I get up with little energy left in me and stand in front of the mirror after wearing the robe. I cleanse and brush my mouth.
After splashing some water on my face, I look at myself in the mirror. My face looks pale and my eyes have dark circles under them.

I am looking like someone who is sick.
A thought enters my mind which I don't want to think about. I try to brush it off my mind but I can't.
What if I am pregnant? I can't be but still, there is a chance. My periods are late. I am feeling dizzy and have been vomiting.
Still, there is no sign of periods. I mean there are no stomach or back pains.
Luciano and I had sex a lot of times.

There is more than a sixty percent chance that I am pregnant. I can't be. I will not give birth to Luciano's child.
I will not bring a child into this dark world. I don't want my child to become like everyone in the mafia. The thought of being pregnant is alone frightening.
A child is a sign of love. Something created out of pure love.
I will not let this happen. I don't know what is happening in my mind. I have just one thing in my mind.

I will kill myself but I will not have his child. He is a monster and he will make my child a monster too. What if he takes my child away from me?
No! This can't happen. How will I even live without my child?
The thought of suicide never entered my mind my entire life because I thought of it as a coward act.
I can't do anything except this. A sob breaks out of me at how miserable I am feeling right now.

I pick up the flower vase and slam it hard on the mirror. A loud noise echoes and mirrors break into different pieces falling on the floor along with the vase.
I am wearing slippers that's why my feet don't hurt. I pick up a broken piece and hold it in my hand.
It is sharp and I must say sharp enough to cut skin. I continue to look at it. Is killing myself on? Can’t I do anything except it?
I remember my parents always used to say that no matter what happens you should never think of taking your life.

That there must be a way. What should I do? I can't think of anything.
‘Kill yourself. You will be free’. Out of nowhere,, I hear a voice. I look everywhere but find no one. My vision was blurry due to tears.
‘Kill yourself’. Again, I hear it. My head starts spinning. I move away from the mirror and broken pieces of glass make noise when I put my foot on them.
‘End this misery’.

‘You will be free’. I try to block it but I can't. This voice is saying again and again.
I look at the broken mirror piece in my hand and drop it. I can't do this. I can't kill my child. No matter what happens I can't kill an innocent. How pitiful I am right now.
‘Pick it up. Kill yourself’. The voice starts saying again. I clutch my head because it starts spinning. My vision blurred.
"Please stop it. Please. LEAVE ME ALONE." I say crying.

The last thing that I remember is falling on the floor on broken pieces of glass and the glass piercing skin of my legs.

LUCIANO'S POV

"Dovremmo iniziare presto questo progetto, signore. Ci gioverà molto." Again, a hectic day at work. I am worried about Analise and this stupid secretary of mine is not leaving me alone. (We should start this project soon Sir. It will benefit us a lot.)
Besides my illegal work and me being the mafia king I also run a famous company in Italy and other parts of the world.
Due to my company and other works, I am known all over the world.

"Signore?" I hear my secretary calling me. (Sir)
"Si," I ask her and look towards her to see her giving me a confusing glance. (Yes)
"Ti stavo chiedendo del nuovo progetto, signore." She says reminding me of what we were talking about. I look at her annoyed. (I was asking you about the new project, Sir.)

"Ok. Avvia. Puoi andartene e non permettere a nessuno di entrare." I say dismissing her. She leaves immediately. She is a good worker and never angers me but she still fears me. As she should. (Ok. Start it. You can leave and don't let anyone come inside.)
This reminds me of my Analise. She fears me a lot but she is not a coward. I love the fire in her eyes and honestly, I don't want her to be scared of me.
I promised her that I will be patient with her but she sometimes forgets to whom she is talking.

She is not feeling well these days. I talked to her about going to the doctor but she refused immediately.
I wonder what she is doing now? I have completed my work and I think I should go home early because I have nothing to do here anymore.
I pack my things to leave. I leave my office ready to go home.
Suddenly ringing of my phone interrupts me. I check it to see that someone from home is calling me.

Has something happened? Is Analise calling? Is she not feeling well? I immediately pick it up.
"Si." I ask in a rough voice. (Yes)
"Signore c'è un problema. La signora non sta aprendo la sua porta. Abbiamo sentito qualche cosa rompere. Non si sentiva bene questa Mattina." After hearing Chiara on the other side, I move faster towards the car. (Sir there is a problem. Madam is not opening her door. We heard something break. She was also not feeling well this
morning.)

"Ok. Sto arrivando." I say getting in my car and cutting the call. (Ok I am coming)
I ask the driver to drive towards the mansion. I am worried about her. Is she fine? Why she has locked the fucking door?
I know why my maids are not opening my room door with the master keys. They don't have permission to do it without my approval.

Finally, I reach home and I get inside the mansion to see Chiara waiting for me. "Portami la chiave." I order Chiara while going towards my room. (Bring me the key)
I reach my room and see it locked. "Ana? You in there? Open the door immediately?" I say gently. No voice comes out. She has never locked herself in there before.
Chiara comes and gives me the key. I take it and hurriedly open the door. The door opens and I see no one is in the room.
Nothing in the room looks unusual. I move towards the closet to see no one is there as well. She is not on the balcony either. Has she escaped again? Anger starts
radiating from my body.

How fucking dare she?
I see the bathroom door closed. I knock on it but no answer. I open the door and the scene in front of me is enough to blow my senses away.
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