31

Chapter 31

I felt Olivia nuzzling my chest and set my phone down.

“What time is it?” she murmured.

“Nine fifteen. Are you hungry? Would you like to get something to eat?”

“No. I’m okay.” She moved out of my lap. “You can take me home now.”

I don’t think so...

“What do you normally do when you’re upset? What makes you feel better?”

“Home Depot...Or more recently, sex with you.”

I laughed. “The home improvement store? Why?”

“I can’t explain it. One step inside that store and I just...All my problems go away for a while. I get lost in the paint swatches, the tiles, the bathroom fixtures, and—everything.”

“Would you like to go there now?”

“It closed at nine o’ clock...” She frowned.

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“Yes...If it were possible, right now would be a perfect time to go.”

I picked up my phone. “Hey, Corey? I need you to do me a favor.”

––––––––

“The manager says you have two hours and he wants every item you take to be scanned on register number one. He wants a sTablet the day it comes out, and he’ll send you the bill tomorrow.” Corey typed a few things onto his tablet and the doors to Home Depot slid open.

Olivia looked up at me and smiled as she made her way into the store, leaving me standing alone with Corey.

“Okay, seriously...” Corey said once she was out of earshot. “Does she have any friends who look half as good as she does? I need someone too, you know.”

“Watch it. I thought you had a date tonight. What happened with that?”

“She was an airhead. All she talked about was what type of clothes she wanted to wear to some celebrity party in L.A...We did have sex in my car on the way back though—which was amazing, but I don’t think I can sit through another dinner with her. One was painful enough.”

“I’m sure you’ll have someone else by tomorrow. Did you finish the Sorrento account?”

“Of course I did. No thanks to you.” He laughed. “We now have the best security tracking system I’ve ever seen. It’s been three days and I haven’t been able to hack into it from the outside. That’s a pretty good sign.”

“Good to know. Could you deactivate all the cameras in the store?”

“Ten steps ahead of you.” He patted my shoulder and started stepping backwards. “The next time you want to interrupt my favorite show, just so you can break into a hardware store after-hours, please hesitate to let me know.”

I walked over to where I saw Olivia disappear to and spotted her on the ceiling fan aisle.

“Thank you so much.” Her eyes met mine. “I only need to get a few things...I left my wallet at home so I’ll pay you back for —”

“Get anything you want. You should know that you don’t have to pay me back.”

Her eyes lit up. “Anything I want?”

“Yes.” I kissed her lips. “Anything you want.”

“Well, in that case, we might be here for a while...”

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It was midnight by the time she’d picked out everything she wanted, and we’d filled six carts to capacity.

We were walking around the small pond in the outdoor greenery area, holding hands and laughing at the fish that were flopping across the surface.

“When do you want to start scanning everything?” She looked up at me.

“Never. We’re not scanning any of it. I’ll write the manager a check and cover all his inventory losses at the end of the year.”

“Okay...Well, are we going to start loading up your car? How many trips do you think it’ll—”

“It’s already been taken care of.” I pulled her into my arms. “Don’t worry about it.” I smiled as I slid a hand underneath her shirt. “You know, your creativity never ceases to amaze me...”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you like wearing pantsuits all of sudden? You’ve been wearing them all week.”

She smirked. “No reason. I haven’t put that much thought into it.” She tried to step away from me, but I tightened my grip around her.

“Do you honestly think wearing pantsuits will keep me from—”

“From fucking me inside of Home Depot? I hope so.”

I unsnapped her bra and kissed her neck. “It won’t.”

“Jason, there are cameras! I’m—”

“Corey turned them all off.” I pulled her down into a bed of grass. “My driver won’t be here with the truck for another hour. That’s plenty of time, don’t you think?” I reached down and unzipped her pants.

“Have I ever told you that you’re ridiculously insatiable?”

“Only when it comes to you.”

......

Olivia

It’s not real, it’s not real...Breathe, Olivia...Breathe...

I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. I opened a cabinet and grabbed a packet of Tylenol, tossing the pills down my throat.

I flung the refrigerator door open and reached for a bottle of water, downing it in one gulp. I took out another one as soon as I finished.

This happened to me every year—every. single. year. Every time my wedding anniversary rolled around.

I shut my eyes and tried to calm myself down from the nightmare I’d just had—the one that featured my husband running off with my best friend, the one that featured her getting pregnant with his baby. But, once I opened my eyes and looked around, once I saw that my kitchen was not our kitchen, I realized that it wasn’t a nightmare after all.

I sank down to the floor and sighed, trying to make myself think of something else—anything else, but another ugly memory forced itself across my mind...

––––––––

It was weeks after the hurtful revelation, and Amanda hadn’t called or texted me to say that she was sorry. She hadn’t said a word about her part in the affair to any of our mutual friends.

Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

I walked into our neighborhood grocery store—puffy eyed, drained, and ugly, and spotted her in a wrinkled red sundress. I saw her turning down the very aisle I needed: Specialty ice cream.

I knew she was going to pick out our favorite mint chocolate chip brand and cry just like I’d planned to, but we weren’t going to be crying together this time.

We were going to be crying separately, over the same situation that had broken us in two very different ways.

I followed her down the aisle and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yes? May I—” She dropped the carton to the floor as soon as her swollen eyes met mine.

There was silence as we looked at one another, as we searched for something to say about a situation best friends should never have to go through.

I tried to control my anger, tried to step back and take a slow deep breath, but it didn’t work. I drew my hand back and slapped the shit out of her.

She gasped and reached up to touch her cheek. The fact that I almost felt sorry for her made me want to vomit.

“I deserved that...” she whispered.

“No shit.”

“I am...I am so so sorry, Olivia.” Her voice cracked. She uncovered her cheek and I saw the beautiful red imprint of my hand. “I never ever wanted to hurt you...I wanted to call you and say something but...I already know you’ll never forgive me for what’s happened...If I could take everything back, I swear I would. I didn’t realize that—”

“That I was married? That you were the maid of honor at my wedding? That you helped me shop for an anniversary present every year? What exactly didn’t you realize?”

“I didn’t think our feelings were—”

“Real? Genuine? Worth mentioning before I tied the knot? As much as it would’ve hurt me, Amanda—as much as I would’ve cried over it—if you had just said, ‘Hey. I have feelings for Ryan and he has feelings for me too,’ before we got married, hell before we got engaged this would’ve...” I couldn’t hold back my tears. “Do you even realize how fucked up this all is? This isn’t some goddamn romance book on your shelf, Amanda! This is my fucking life!”

“I really am sorry...I—”

“When the fuck were you going to tell me?” I wanted to slap her again. “Huh? When the baby was born? When he turned two? At one point did you and Ryan think about letting your spouses in on this twisted ass joke?”

“Listen to—”

“Answer the goddamn question!”

She sighed. “We never discussed that...”

“Of course you didn’t...I guess fucking each other all the time was conversation enough.” I moved past her and took two cartons of mint chocolate chip from the fridge.

“Olivia, wait...I’ll always hate myself for—”

“That makes two of us. We’ve always shared the same enemies.”

“I can’t say how sorr—”

“The only reason I’m not stomping the living shit out of you right now is because you’re carrying a baby—my ex-husband’s baby. But the more I stand here looking at how pathetic you are, I’m tempted to disregard that fact because you’re not really sorry, Amanda. You’re only sorry because you got caught. And you’re right, I will never forgive you.”

––––––––

I swallowed one more Tylenol pill and washed it down. I looked at my watch and realized it was noon.

I can’t waste my whole weekend thinking about this... I need to do something...

I walked over to the pantry and saw that there was nothing inside but a box of cereal and a jar of unopened peanut butter.

Problem solved...

–––––––

I stood in front of the meat freezer at Whole Foods, debating whether I should buy two or three packages of chicken. Since Ashley had recently given up her “vegan-status,” she and Caroline were on some type of “all-protein” fix and they’d been eating meat like crazy.

For the past few nights, I’d witnessed them scarf down grilled ham sandwiches, burritos, and turkey burgers like their lives depended on it.

I decided to go with three and headed for the register.

As usual, there were only two cashiers working, and since it was Saturday—the day everyone else did their shopping, I prepared myself for a long wait in line.

I picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine and skimmed through the pages, trying not to laugh at the ridiculous article titles: “The Number One Thing He Craves in Bed Tonight...” “How to Break the Three Date Rule,” and “Two Hundred Sex Tricks That Will Make Him Love You.”

I turned to another page and saw an article entitled, “For ANY Relationship: How to Keep Things Spicy.” I read the first paragraph and rolled my eyes, but I kept reading:

“The key to any relationship—whether you’re young or a little more mature in age—is not communication! (Well, that IS important but we’ll get to that later.) The key is variety—within your date nights, within your displays of affection, and within your bedroom.

“Since this is Cosmo, we’re going to focus on key number three! Your bedroom!

“Sex should never be the same thing day in and day out. It should be spontaneous, passionate, and so amazingly good that you and your guy think about it for days after. (If you’re not already having sex again that is...)

“Our senior editors decided to take the plunge for you, interviewing over a thousand men for this feature. They asked each of them what they liked most about the women they’ve dated, what turns them on, and most importantly how important variety is to a relationship.

“Feel free to read exclusive interviews on the next page, but for now, we’re going to give you a list of tips to automatically boost your sex life and add some much needed variety!

“1. Sexting! Sexting is a—”

I couldn’t read anymore. I reached for something safer—Oprah’s O magazine, and searched for her most recent book club picks.

I moved up two spaces in line and cursed under my breath. There was an elderly couple arguing with the cashier about a stack of coupons.

“Excuse me?” A blonde tapped my shoulder.

“Yes?”

“Could you pass me a copy of Cosmo please?”

“Sure.” I picked one up and handed it to her.

“You know, a lot of it is crazy but some of this stuff actually works on my husband.” She laughed and walked away.

She’s got to be kidding me...

I pulled Cosmo off the rack again and read the rest of the article:

“1. Sexting! Sexting is a great way to spice up any relationship! Now, if you’ve never done it before, you may want to start off with a regular text conversation to make sure that he’s near his phone and it won’t be seen by anyone else.

“Once you’ve committed to sexting, you should simply text your guy something simple, something like “I’m sooo horny” and then say something short and naughty right after. For example: “I’m sooo horny. I wish you could see what I have on right now.”

“Once your guy sees the text, he’ll definitely text you something naughty back. Don’t let it die down after this! Continue engaging him in sexy banter all day.

“The next time you two are together, he’ll be reminded of your messages and want to live out everything the both of you ‘sexted’ about.

“Trust us, nearly every guy we interviewed said engaging in sexting was one of the best things that—”

“These are supposed to be double coupons!” “We are not paying an extra dollar!” “Where is the manager?” The elderly couple ahead interrupted my reading.

I sighed. I figured I might as well try to have some fun while I waited in line.

I pulled my phone out and sent Jason a text: “I’m sooo horny. I can’t wait to ride your dick again...”

I found my place in the article once more and started reading about points two and three: Homemade sex tapes and weekend sex retreats.

My phone started ringing and I answered without looking at the screen. I was too wrapped up in reading about the benefits of using flavored condoms.

“Hello?”

“If you want to ride my dick that badly, you don’t have to wait. Where are you?”

Jason?! “You’re supposed to text back! Not call me! Why can’t you just text back like a normal—”

“Where. Are. You?”

My body tingled from the sound of his voice. “I’m at Whole Foods...”

“Which one?”

“The one on Fourth Street...”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Go to your car and get in the back seat.” He hung up.

Ugh. Fuck Cosmo... They clearly didn’t interview any “Jason Ice” types...

“Ma’am? Ma’am?” The cashier looked at me. “You can start unloading your cart now...”

“Um, actually...I need to get something else...”

I pushed my cart out of line and parked it in the soft drinks aisle. I headed to the restroom and looked myself over: Pink collared shirt, light blue jeans, slightly tousled hair.

My cheeks were bright red and my body was aching—longing to be touched; I had to silently scold myself to calm down.

Am I really this insatiable? Am I as bad as he is?