Chapter 19

Time stood still for what seemed forever. I was in a state of numbness. Centuries passed before I could draw a breath. It hurts, the drawing of breath. It brought life back into an existence I no longer cared for. Life sucked. *Was death any less painful*? According to the so-called rules of immortality, that was, but I had learned differently, there was a way for me to die. By a lycanthrope. However, in the meantime, I had found a place that was Hell right here, even without death coming to me. In less than thirty minutes, Declan had brought Hell to co-exist with this unwanted existence I now lived. Declan had taken my heart, soul and life with him when he’d said goodbye. I no longer wanted immortality, I no longer wanted life. I no longer found either useful, no longer found a reason to keep them going, they only brought pain. My whole life, I had felt pain in one manner or another, but my suffering had never brought me to my knees, until now.

Before, when Declan had left and the months that followed, I’d believed he would come back because he hadn’t closed the door. This time he had.

Laying down on the floor, I curled into a ball, and closing my eyes, I gave up.

I was still in that ball when Lielyn spat. “What the hell are you doing?”

I didn’t open my eyes.

“Get your ass up off that damn floor, sister.”

“Why?” I grumbled, my voice defeated.

“You have to save him.”

I cracked an eye on that one. “Save him? What are you talking about?”

Lielyn tu-tutted. “Listen, little sister, there is much you need to learn about who you are. Who Brielle, Declan, and Leighton are. Learn where you come from. It is not now, as I have stated, and you can only stop the curse if you find your way back—”

Suddenly Lielyn was no longer with me, our connection severed, the same as the last time. *What the actual fuck*? I wondered as I shoved myself off the floor with the sudden awareness that, once again, I hadn’t summoned Lielyn, she had just started talking. *And how in the hell, did she know what was going on in my life? Was she scrying me*?

As I sat there, trying to wrap my head around the last few hours, Declan’s words came back to me. ‘*Everything about you, about this life, it’s all going to fade.*’

What had he meant by that? Then there was the ’I’m a danger to you, and one day, if I stay, I will kill you.’ Yes Declan had broken me, hurt me emotionally, but he would never harm me physically. That I knew for certain. I had lost hope earlier, but as I dwelled on everything, it suddenly dawned on me Declan’s confession of being in love with me gave me reason to keep going. To keep moving forward. Love gave me reason to exist. And whatever was going on with him, I had to save him from it.

FOUR WEEKS LATER

~DECLAN~

As the rays creep through the glassless window—more a place missing bricks, than an actual window—they announce soon the moon would be full, bringing about my change. Thoughts of Sydney run through my head again, and I admit, I’m scared for her. The chains I used earlier this week are useless to me now. Nothing could stop the monster. I had absorbed the beast’s genetics fully, and it now used my sylph abilities—it, I, whoever the hell I was, had become beyond dangerous. My victims could neither hear me, nor see me now, if I chose that they didn’t. As well, my memory of being the beast was sharpening, though I still had the time lapses, I knew I was quickly losing myself. It was just a matter of days before everything was gone and I would stay in a state of blackout.

But, still, I hadn’t been able to stay away from her. I couldn’t. There was a force in me that wouldn’t let me. I had been bound to her the minute she had been born, and it seemed no matter how far my humanity slipped, there remained a part of me, for now, that resisted. But death has become my way, and some day, I will be hunted until I fall. I could only pray it would be soon.

Picking up a match, I strike it against the concrete floor, then lay flame to the wick in my lantern. After shaking out the match, I pick up my pen and pull a piece of paper to me.

*Syd,*

*Tell my brother I love him, and hope he understands, if you would please. And, just so you know, I’m not angry about what brought me to what I have become, it was my life, my choice. I knew the consequence. Please, my love, understand that sometimes goodbye *is* the only way. Live on my beautiful, and know my love forever follows you.*
*Declan*

After placing the pen back onto the rough table at my side, I begin folding the note. I had just enough time to deliver it to Sydney's before I changed. I could already feel the wolf stirring, but I had time.

Minutes later, I step through where the door used to be, and begin making my way through the heavy growth surrounding the old ruins, and as my feet find the now worn path, I become the air.

The flight took mere seconds and soon, I was placing solid feet on the ground again. Lifting my head, I sniffed, looking for Sydney’s scent—not only was an extraordinary sense of smell a werewolf’s ability, it was, as well, an ability a guardian had for their ward. When I had assured myself she was not home, I dispatched the small space between myself and Sydney's back door. With a twist, I opened the door and slipped inside, then made my way to her bedroom, where as I placed the note on her pillow, I realized the moon had begun to reach its last stage of fullness as it shone brightly in through the window.