22 - Understanding the Past

**Northeastern Region**

**Ancient City of Samaria**

**Days after the Miracle of Resurrection (A flashback of the past)**

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After that faithful day, the resurrected girl and her family continued to live on with their normal lives. As requested, not one tongue spoke of the miracle. The neighbors kept silent and so did the family themselves. To ensure the girl's complete recovery and safety, her father confined her inside the house; only able to visit and see the outside sky within the house backyard.

The girl, understanding the circumstances that befell on her, obediently did as she was told. She asked no questions about what happened and gave no comment on her side of the story. It was her choice to be mute about it and so did her parents.

As was before, her daily routines inside the house consisted mainly of house chores. She would clean the plates after their meals, took buckets of water enough for her lanky arms to lift in and out of the kitchen and feed the family's livestock and poultry every morning and afternoon.

One morning when she stepped out of the kitchen door and into the backyard garden, she caught sight of a man sitting on top of one of the partition walls of her neighbor. He was wearing an odd dress not considered common in Samaria. It looked foreign as the metallic silvery cloth hugged the man like a God. One leg was stretched idly, while the other was bent with his right hand resting on top the knee. His head and back was leaning against another taller partition wall while looking at the blue sky. The man was beautiful, the girl thought, with straight golden brown hair in shoulder length, a chiseled jaw and a slender neck. What she was immediately captivated though was one striking detail about him: wings.

His white fluffy wings.

A birdman — that instantly registered in her mind, comparing it to the chickens she was supposed to feed during that time.

"Hey Mister, " she called with her soft voice, eyes twinkling in anticipation.

The stranger didn't move.

"Mister!" she called again, this time in a louder voice.

But the stranger still didn't move from his idle position. It was either he was deaf or he was just ignoring her.

Stepping more closely to the wall, she called out again, looking up, "Mister! Hey!"

And that drew the stranger's attention. He looked down and stared at the odd sight before him. Then, his brows furrowed when he noted that the girl's focus was directly on him; not the cypress tree behind him nor the clouds above his head.

How did this girl able to see him?

"You can see me?" the stranger spoke, his manly voice like a melodic tune.

The girl nodded and smiled excitedly. "Are you a birdman?" she asked.

"A birdman?" the man parroted and raised a brow in confusion. He tilted his head and thinned his eyes, examining the girl's playful aura. "Why do you say so, Little One?"

"Because you have wings, " she answered, giggling thereafter.

The winged man smiled and then jumped down the tall wall to her front effortlessly. "Don't compare me with your fat chickens, Little One. I am no birdman because I don't have a beak. I am an angel — your guardian angel."

"My guardian angel?" she asked, a bit dazed.

"Yes, your guardian angel. Isn't that great?"

"It is, but—"

Suddenly, her playfulness dulled and what replaced was sadness. The twinkle in her eyes disappeared and her smile broke down. She lowered her head to the ground and whispered, "I don't need a guardian angel."

The angel's heart twitched after hearing her words. For the record, it was the first time a human rejected her guardian angel.

"I just need a friend, " the girl added. "Father doesn't want me to play outside with my friends anymore. He says it is for my own safety, but I feel lonely here. I don't need a guardian angel. I need a friend. It would be great if I have one."

"Then, let me be your friend, " the angel suggested with a kind smile. He wasn't supposed to say that but he did anyway, at least to ease the sadness in the girl's eyes. "Little One, you are lucky because not only am I your guardian angel, I will also become your friend. Do you like that?"

He crouched low and leveled his face to meet hers. Their eyes connected: glowing amber ones to creamy hazel, and the angel saw the innocence and purity in it.

No wonder she was given a second life...

He tipped her chin up with his finger like a friendly gesture and the girl beamed a smile.

"Yes, I like that a lot, " she said with a cheerful blush on her cheeks.

"Then, tell me your name, Little One. I would want to know the name of my first human friend."

He stood up and patted the girl's head.

"Ysabelle, " she said, stretching her hands to touch the white feathers.

"Good. And I am Aestaroath, Little Ysabelle. Your protector, your guardian angel and your friend, " he said and though it wasn't his willingness to, he shifted slightly to have the girl touch his wings more leisurely.

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**(Five years past)**



"Why are you gawking Aestaroath? Seriously, do you know you have been acting strange for an angel lately?" Ysabelle asked, eyeing the angel with arms akimbo.

Aestaroath gulped hard and diverted his eyes away from her to the scenery outside of her room window; his heartbeat making a double leap. "I just find your dress...unsuitable, Ysabelle. That's all, " he said.

Standing next to the bed was her wearing a light blue long dress with intricate beadwork, a veil draped along her shoulder and a wide green belt wrapped around her waist. She wasn't covering her head with a cloth like she usually do, instead putting her lovely hair free and adorning it with white lilac flowers.

"Unsuitable? I am going to my cousin's wedding party. This—" Ysabelle pointed to the length of her appearance and lifted her brows, "is a suitable dress for the occasion."

"I know..." Aestaroath replied quietly. Of course, he can't tell her the true reason behind his open-mouthed surprise. He can't tell her that he was delighted with her appearance as the ensemble accentuated her curves and highlighted her beauty more.

All these years of being her friend and accompanying her in almost all of the places whether it be grounded at home or in another village, he had found it little by little difficult as he saw her growth... her change into a fine young woman.

It was beginning to challenge him, especially the challenge was directed to his heart. Angels, especially guardian angels, are prohibited to fall in love with their charges. When that rule is broken, it would turn the offender into a Fallen and is forbidden to see the human forever.

He of course doesn't want that. He enjoyed Ysabelle's company and friendship very well and doesn't desire that sacred relationship destroyed.

However, his feelings sorely tempted him from time to time... including this time too — especially in this very moment when he knew he was out of time.

He stepped closer to her, leaving only inches apart and softly grazed a hand on her cheek.

"You have grown into a charming, beautiful woman, Ysabelle. It pleases me greatly."

Ysabelle's cheeks deepened a blush. She felt the lovely sensation when his hands contacted her skin. It was soothing, relaxing and she unintentionally closed her eyes briefly to feel it more.

"Aestaroath..." she whispered, "don't put flowers in your words, please. Angels aren't supposed to be sweet."

Amber eyes immediately stared lovingly at her open lips. If only he could kiss those...

Then, his wings shook with the desirous thoughts in his mind. It was a sign of approval.

Although conflicted, he bent his head while still tenderly skimming her face.

Just once.

Just once. Can he taste those precious lips?

Opening her eyes, Ysabelle released a quiet gasp. She hadn't expected this. Near was the angel's face to hers; so near that it almost looked like he was about to kiss her.

Although she froze, she actually anticipated it. She couldn't explain yet, but there was something inside her... a feeling... yes, a feeling towards him that was more than friendly.

"Ysabelle..." he spoke, voice laced with warmth.

"Yes?" Her breath paused.

"I don't want to leave you."

He expected her to ask why, but her reply came with words that stunned him.

"Then don't, " she said looking at him without reservation, "I don't want you to leave me too."

God, his heart almost cried out.

"I wish it is that easy. I wish it is easy to hold what I feel towards you, " he answered with so much pain, so much torture in his voice. Wrapping an arm around her back, he pushed her lightly towards his chest, creating zero gap in between them. His angelic wings shook again, wanting to feel her body too.

"Aestaroath, " she gasped softly, eyes wide. She felt uncomfortable at first, but welcomed his embrace in the end.

They could feel each other's warm breath then as their lips lingered only mere millimeters away. Their eyes stared into each other's depth: a pair of glowing amber orbs showing a profound emotion directed only to her and a pair of hazel ones showing a beginning understanding of it.

"However, it is already too late now, " he expressed with a hint of pain.

Too late indeed for he knew he had already fallen in love with her; the one rule that guardian angels aren't supposed to break.

Ysabelle would have asked him to elaborate more, but before she could make out a word Aestaroath's lips crashed down on hers.

It was heavy.

It was passionate.

Like a normal man hungry for love.

Though Aestaroath knew it was forbidden, he did this so without remorse for he knew this would be the first and last time he will be able to kiss her. This will be the last time he'll be able to see her... to hear her voice... to feel her warmth... to see her smile...

Oh, how could a sweet and bitter bliss be this painful?

Ysabelle blanked out and became pliant under his arms. She didn't struggle nor protest. She even accepted him wholeheartedly and replied to his kisses with equal affection.

After a minute, he noticed her struggling to breathe. He didn't stop their kiss though; instead he angled her head to the side so that she could open her mouth to give him more access. When she whimpered, he smiled, feeling pleased with the marvelous tune in his ears.

They had been like that for wondrous minutes with Aestaroath wishing at the back of his mind for this moment to never end, but that is one fact that must be faced sooner or later.

"Aes-ta-roath..." Ysabelle whispered in broken syllables when he withdrew gradually. Palming his jaw, she gave him a confused look. "You kissed me..."

He smiled, eyes dancing with joy. "I did." And it was most wonderful.

"Why?" her voice turned shaky.

Aestaroath's hand ran up her back to her head. He leaned forward to smell her lilac scent and whispered softly these words in her ear, "I'm sorry, Ysabelle, but the reason for that, you will never know."

Painstakingly, he then released her and stepped a few feet away. Ysabelle felt the cold draft instantly and it made her feel incomplete.

"Wait!" she cried out when she noticed him walking towards the small balcony of her room.

Aestaroath paused and looked at her with sad eyes, "I'm sorry, Ysabelle. A trumpet in the Heavens is calling for me. I have...to go."

"No, wait! Aestaroath!" With clasping hands, she felt the panic rising inside her. She stared at the angelic man and felt her heart was about to bleed. "Tell me, why do I feel that that kiss was your way of saying goodbye?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he smiled back at her, sincerely, lovingly, hauntingly...

"I'll see you later, Little One, " Aestaroath said and then dematerialized slowly in her front.

Ysabelle sank in the floor feeling like her energy had been sucked dry. With his presence, she felt protected, cared for, complete... but now, what was left was a gaping hole in her heart.

"I'll hold you to that, " she murmured to herself, looking down at the floor with eyes almost welling up with tears.

She couldn't explain it but even though he did leave her those parting words, she felt as though he was lying straight in her face.



~ 0 ~



**Rogratiatto Mansion**

**(Present)**



After a silent lunch with the family, Ysabelle went to the back of the house, in a small rose garden that she had properly cared by herself. She wanted to spend her time alone there, but an intruder broke her peaceful space.

"You look unlike yourself since you arrived in the house, Ysabelle, " André spoke as he neared where she sat in a metal bench. From where he stood, he could see the slight swelling of her eyes clearly exposed by the noon sun.

"And you look like you came from a body shop André, " Ysabelle retorted, changing her gloomy mood to that of a friendlier one. She gave him a small smile then. "Seriously, you were so thin back then, how can you be so healthy now in just a matter of days?"

"I guess being in a coma for a month really did affect my appearance huh?" He sat down next to her, smiling his debonair smile. "You could say that having no demon inside me helped me recover better."

"André, that is no joking matter you know, " Ysabelle stated quietly, eyeing the man who was dressed in impeccable Marks and Spencer white shirt and pants. He looked more like his handsome self. No weary-looking eyes or malnourished weight. The color of his lips had returned finally; a great difference as to back when he was still in a coma.

"Mhmm, I know, but seriously, I missed you, " he stated, voice laced with gentleness. He watched her as she held her breath for one brief time and smiled.

"And I'm relieved that you are well now. God, you make me worry so much, " was her clever reply.

"Oh, Ysabelle, " he sighed, "should I take hope with your words now? You make it sound that you care for me a lot." Andréfaced her and inched closer, putting an arm over her back.

Suddenly the friendly atmosphere changed.

"Yes, I care for you a lot André, of course, " she shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortable with the change of the man's treatment. "You are family, you are my friend. You will always be close to my heart."

This was his usual self too. Back from the time when the brotherhood's plan was still not known, she and Andrébecame very close friends, but never was there a time that he hid his feelings for her; he was always vocal about it, and she, always turning him down. There were times when he was just fooling around, but there were also times when he was serious. Right now... most especially now... Ysabelle knew he was dead-set on expressing it.

"But I want to be the only person inside your heart Ysabelle, " was his answer. "I don't want to share it with my family or anybody else."

Or with Marcus... but good thing he doesn't know that.

Ysabelle shifted subtly to move back in her seat.

"No, André, we can't talk about that subject again. I told you already I am not open to such ideas."

He released a ragged breath and stared at her for a long minute, taking in all of her beauty under the afternoon sun. "You know, after I finally recovered from my unfortunate condition, I realized one thing, " he then continued.

"What is?" Ysabelle responded, not looking at him; her eyes resting on the beautiful rose blooms.

"That I don't want to be a pawn to the brotherhood's wishes. I don't want to be a prisoner of their pathetic rules, Ysabelle. I want to be my own master. I want to act in accordance to what I want and not what was expected or ordered of me, by my father or by Sion."

His eyes became desperate, needy... and Ysabelle began to feel an uncomfortable cold when she happened to glance on them.

"I want to express my love to you completely, " he continued, "If I wasn't able to show that in the past because I am bound by the rules, now that I am given a second chance, I will grab the opportunity to do it."

Ysabelle cleared her throat. She blinked twice and diverted her eyes away from him.

"I'm sorry André. I can't, " she said calmly.

"Tell me, why?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her slightly, making her lean towards him.

Her brows twitched, feeling angry all of the sudden. "You know already why!" she exclaimed, flailing her free hand in the air, but then her anger suddenly dissipated and was replaced with sadness... pure, unfiltered sadness when she remembered Marcus. "I want to...die, " her voice shook, "I can't handle this loneliness anymore..."

And the loneliness that will come in the future with Marcus' death.

André, disregarding the battle of affliction she was in, remarked with ill-timed enthusiasm, "But you won't be lonely with me. I will give you everything you want Ysabelle. I will shower you with passion."

This time he pulled her closer by the waist and was about to brazenly kiss her when she pushed his chest forcefully away.

"Andréplease... let me go, " was her stern order.

Luckily, he did but only in the waist. His other hand was still holding her wrist securely.

"Accept me and you will not regret it, " was his bold promise. His eyes were dark, like a thunder storm ready to pour at any time.

Ysabelle, like those same times he confessed his feelings to her, just shrugged it off, pulling her wrist out of his hold and stood up quickly.

"I'm sorry, André. I just can't...accept your feelings, " she said and left the garden leaving him in deep contemplation.

"Ysabelle, " he whispered coldly, tightening both of his fists in anger as he watched her retreating back.