Chapter 18: A Moment Alone

Alexis sat on the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon as the sun dipped below the distant mountains. The sky was awash in shades of orange and pink, but the beauty of it was lost on her. The cold wind whipped through her hair, stinging her cheeks, but she didn’t move. She barely felt it. All she could feel was the aching emptiness that had settled deep in her chest.

The argument with Kayden had left her shaken, more than she was willing to admit. It wasn’t just the fight itself—it was the realization that maybe, just maybe, they were never going to be able to overcome the wall that had grown between them. The mission had brought them together, forged a connection that had felt unbreakable, but now… now she wasn’t so sure.

She had been running from her own feelings for so long, trying to push aside the doubts, the fear, but they had all come crashing down in that moment. Kayden’s inability to let her in, to trust her fully, had left a gaping hole in their relationship. And no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, Alexis knew that it wasn’t something she could ignore anymore.

She had thought about leaving the mission—more than once. The thought had crossed her mind during the heat of battle, when the danger felt overwhelming, and again in the quiet moments when she was alone with her thoughts. But this time, the thought felt more real, more tangible. Could she really do it? Could she really walk away from Kayden, from the mission, from everything they had fought for?

The wind howled around her, carrying with it the distant sounds of the resistance base far below. Her fingers tightened around the edge of the rock she was sitting on, her knuckles turning white with the strain. She didn’t want to admit it—not even to herself—but the truth was clear: she was heartbroken. The distance between her and Kayden had left her feeling lost, unsure of where she stood or what her next step should be.

"Mind if I join you?"

The voice startled her, and Alexis turned to see Mara standing a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest. The leader of the resistance had always been a calm, steady presence amidst the chaos, but there was something different in her expression now—something softer, more understanding.

Alexis blinked, wiping at her eyes quickly before nodding. "Sure."

Mara walked over and sat down beside her, the two of them sitting in silence for a long moment as the wind continued to howl around them. The sounds of the resistance base faded into the background, leaving only the quiet rustle of the wind and the distant call of birds.

"You looked like you needed some space," Mara said finally, her voice gentle.

Alexis let out a soft, bitter laugh. "Yeah. Something like that."

Mara didn’t press her, didn’t ask what was wrong. Instead, she just sat there, her presence a quiet but comforting reminder that Alexis wasn’t as alone as she felt. After a few minutes, Mara glanced at her, her eyes sharp but kind.

"You know," Mara said, her voice thoughtful, "I’ve seen a lot of people come and go in this fight. A lot of people who thought they were in it for the long haul, only to realize they couldn’t handle the pressure. It’s not easy, being on the front lines. It’s not easy letting yourself care about someone when everything feels so uncertain."

Alexis looked at her, surprised by the honesty in her words. "I don’t know if I can do it anymore," she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know if I’m strong enough."

Mara studied her for a moment, her expression unreadable. "It’s not about being strong, Alexis. It’s about knowing what’s worth fighting for."

The words hit her harder than she expected, and Alexis felt her chest tighten with emotion. She had been so caught up in the fear, in the uncertainty of her relationship with Kayden, that she hadn’t taken the time to really think about what she wanted—what she was fighting for. Was it the mission? Was it Kayden? Or was it something else entirely?

"I thought I was fighting for him," Alexis said softly, her voice trembling. "But now I don’t know if that’s enough. He keeps pushing me away, and I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I don’t know if I can keep loving him when it feels like he doesn’t trust me."

Mara sighed, her gaze turning toward the horizon. "Kayden’s been through a lot. You know that. And sometimes, when people have been hurt like that, it’s hard for them to open up. It’s hard for them to trust that someone won’t leave them, or that they won’t lose everything they care about again."

Alexis nodded, tears stinging her eyes. "I know. I do. But it’s like he doesn’t see that I’m here, that I’m not going anywhere. And every time he shuts me out, it just… it hurts."

Mara was silent for a long moment, her expression thoughtful. "I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Alexis. He cares about you more than you realize. But he’s scared. Scared of losing you, scared of losing himself. You need to decide if you’re willing to fight through that fear with him."

Alexis’s heart clenched at her words. She had been so focused on her own pain, her own doubts, that she hadn’t really considered what Kayden was going through. He had lost so much—his home, his people, his past. And now, even though he had told her how he felt, he was still battling his own demons, his own fears of losing everything again.

"I don’t know if he’ll ever really let me in," Alexis whispered, her voice trembling.

Mara turned to face her, her eyes filled with quiet determination. "That’s not a decision you can make for him. But what you can do is decide whether or not you’re willing to fight for him, even when it’s hard. Even when he pushes you away."

Alexis swallowed hard, her chest tightening with emotion. The truth of Mara’s words hit her deep. She had been so focused on the pain of Kayden’s distance that she hadn’t stopped to think about what she was willing to do to make things work. She had been scared—scared of being hurt, scared of losing him—but maybe, just maybe, that fear was what had been holding her back all along.

She looked out at the horizon, the sun now just a faint glow on the edge of the sky. The mission loomed ahead of them, the danger ever-present, but for the first time in days, Alexis felt a glimmer of clarity.

She cared about Kayden—more than she had ever cared about anyone. And yes, it was hard. Yes, it was painful. But maybe that was the price of love, of fighting for something real.

"I don’t want to walk away from him," Alexis said softly, her voice filled with quiet resolve. "I love him. I just don’t know if that’s enough."

Mara smiled, though it was a sad smile, tinged with the weight of her own experiences. "Love is never easy, Alexis. But if it’s worth fighting for, you’ll find a way."

Alexis looked at her, tears stinging her eyes once again, but this time, there was a flicker of hope in her chest. She wasn’t sure what would happen next, or if things with Kayden would ever be easy, but she knew one thing for certain:

She wasn’t ready to give up.

Not yet.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

As the wind howled around them, Alexis stood, feeling a new sense of resolve settling over her. The road ahead was still uncertain, still filled with danger and doubt, but for now, she knew where she stood.

She would fight.

For the mission.

For Kayden.

And, maybe most importantly, for herself.