49

Finn and I froze when my fathers lips flattened from his small smirk, leaving a serious looking face that worried me. "Should I leave?" Finn awkwardly trailed off while looking between me and my father who had his arms crossed.

"No. Stay. You probably know more about it than I do." My dad said while standing from the doorway and pulling his smartphone from his suit pocket. His thumb scrolled on the screen a he spoke. "You're still on my insurance plan."

Shit.

This was not how I wanted this to go.

At all.

"$18,107 in various unnamed medical costs in two days. Would you like to explain what you did before Thanksgiving that could have possibly cost $3,000 and then another $3,500 ten minutes later?" My dad sent me a pointed look. What happened to worrying about my health? Seeing me alive and fine probably took away his sympathy and replaced it with anger for not telling him about a possibly life saving surgery.

"Um....I'm guessing the $3,000 is the cost of an ambulance and $3,500 is probably the anesthesia." I said hesitantly because I didn't know how to transition into 'Hey, I almost bleed out and I lost my child that you didn't even know I was having'.

I automatically knew I said the wrong thing when I felt Finn's hand tighten on my lower arm. I hadn't even noticed him place it there. My dad's eyes almost popped out of his head in surprise. "And the other $12,000?" He asked hesitantly with furrowed brows, like he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know. There's that parental worry.

What the fuck was I supposed to say now? Out of all the scenarios in my head, this had to be the worst one. I was no where near prepared for this. I didn't even realize that words were leaving my mouth until they had already been said. "Um... a D&E, three units of blood, and a night in the hospital."

Finn's nails were digging into my delicate skin now, letting me know that I was definitely approaching this in the wrong way. Not that I needed someone to tell me that.

My fathers eyebrows shot of his face and he seemed to be more shocked then I've ever seen him. Realizing that I should probably say something before he blew a blood vessel, I spoke up. "I was uh- 12 weeks pregnant and I had a miscarriage. I didn't realize that you had an 'O' blood type. Not that it would have mattered, usually the shots are around 28 weeks but I'm supposedly really sensitized. So I um- hemorrhaged and I needed a blood transfusion."

Talk about dropping a bombshell on your parents.

I might need another blood transfusion because he might try and kill me.

How are you supposed to respond to your kid telling you they almost died and lost their child?

"Are you okay? How did that even happen? Why didn't you tell me sooner? And they let you get back to sports that quickly?" His words hit me like a train. So fast that is didn't even know what was being said. My dad's eyebrows were drawn in worry and his frown lines were apparent on his anxious face.

"She almost flatlined in the ambulance." My eyes shifted to Finn who was now standing besides me, looking worried. "And bled out." I wanted to punch him but I wouldn't have been able to say it if he didn't.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner? I could have helped you. This is the same thing that happened last year. I'm the last one to know and it's always because it's forced out of you. Whether it's because the lawyers in our driveway or the insurance bill is in the mail. What am I doing wrong?" He sounded broken and in agony as he pleaded with me. My dad hasn't talked like that since my mother died when I was eight.

I was worried about how keeping things like this from him would make him feel after my rape but it didn't cross my mind that this would set him off too.

I know he didn't want to make me feel guilty but now I felt it. My nerves turned into a frown and taught brows. Finn's arm wrapped around my waist to comfort me and it sort of worked. "I don't know dad. I needed time to think. You didn't do anything wrong, I just needed time to myself."

And it's hard to tell your parents these sorts of things. You don't want them to feel disappointed even if it's stupid. But I wouldn't tell him that. It wouldn't make my dad feel better. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it bothered you."

"Don't apologize," he blinked back his watery eyes. "I understand. I'm just- worried. I'm glad you're okay, though. And I'm sorry for your loss. It must not have been easy."

My dad closed the space between us with a bone crushing dad hug leaving Finn to awkwardly pull his arm away from me and stand off to the side. "A lot of people have miscarriages, honey. Your mother had one and we got through it. It will all work itself out." He spoke loud enough for Finn to hear, knowing what it was like to take it from a man's perspective.

It was comforting that he could be understanding through this even though I had obviously hurt him, intentional or not.

After a moment my dad turned his head to Finn who was standing there semi awkwardly. I say semi because I don't think Griffin Riley could ever look out of place no matter how hard he tried. His presence was effortless. "Get in here, son. You're part of the family."

And so Finn joined our little hug.

Part of the family.

We might not have a child, but Finn and I were each others family, for better or for worse.