Chapter 21: Writer's Block

Genevieve:

The screen was blank.

The only thing marring the bright white document was the blinking indicator of where Genevieve was to start her chapter.

Yet her brain had no ideas of how to start it.

She ran her hands through her hair, throwing the tangled mess up into a bun before she continued to stare ominously at her computer screen.

Chapter thirty.

All she needed was another five chapters. The book was so close to being done. Wasn’t this what she was meant to be doing here in the city? Sure, she was supposed to be signing books and smiling for the cameras that would occasionally pop up, but this trip had been meant to be an escape. For her to run away from her family troubles and get her shit together. To finish her manuscript.

Then Raphael came into the picture.

More precisely, her stalker found her and brought Raphael into the picture. If it hadn’t been the fear of what her stalker would do next, Genevieve wouldn’t have needed the men from Wolff Protection, or the troubles they seemed to bring with them.

Genevieve cleared her throat and pulled her chair closer to the small desk in Raphael’s spare room that she had taken over. Her suitcase was open with most of her personal items scattered all around. She had been in a complete mental breakdown when she’d returned to her room the other night after she—whatever it was that they had all done in the living room. Genevieve wasn’t able to so much as look any of the men in the eye as leave her room. Except for emergencies, like the bathroom. Luckily, it seemed like Raphael was avoiding her just as much as she was him.

Somehow, though, that didn’t make her feel any better about the situation.

What was she supposed to do after the final signing? Genevieve was due to go back home to North Dakota, and if the stalker hadn’t been caught by then, what would be left for her to do? She couldn’t drag the three men all the way across the country just to protect her. She could always find someone closer to North Dakota, but the idea of someone else being as intimately close with her as Raphael, or even Vin and Gunner were, made her skin crawl.

At first it was a prickle on the back of her neck, irritating but ignorable. Then it crept down her spine and shot through her back with aheavy shiver that forced her up and out of her chair.

Genevieve was now pacing, all thoughts of writing gone. Anxiety was what gripped her chest and had her lungs so tight that it was almost too difficult to breathe. She pressed down above her heart, willing the racing beats to slow and for her throat to open and allow in more air.

It was working, albeit very slowly, until someone knocked softly at her door. Her body froze in place, a tendril of fear licking up from her stomach and rattled her lungs further.

“Y-yes?” She cleared her throat and faced the door as whoever it was entered.

Genevieve was both relieved and disappointed that it was Gunner standing in her doorway. His eyes shot all over the room, avoiding her gaze as he shuffled back and forth. His hands were clasped behind his back and a soft blush darkened his complexion.

“Um, sorry to bother you, Ms. Blake.” His voice which was normally easygoing and professional was now quiet and almost timid. He turned his head down, staring at the floor while he continued to shuffle back and forth.

“Gunner, come in. Why’re you being so formal?” Genevieve tried to think about the last time he had called her by her surname, but other than their first meeting, she wasn’t sure there was another time.

“Oh, uh, I guess I’m just unsure how to react around you after… that.” He released a heavy breath and chuckled.

“Oh, yeah.” Now Genevieve was the one to get embarrassed. She pressed her lips together and paced back toward the desk where she placed her hands on the back of the chair and stayed there. “The way I see it, is we’re all grown adults. We made our choice. There’s no reason to let it affect our professional agreement.”

The words tasted bitter in her mouth and she forced herself to swallow instead of gagging on them. Genevieve wanted to believe that it was so much more than the heat of the moment and that Raphael had really wanted to touch her, to be with her. That it wasn’t simply because she was the only woman in a house full of men.

“Agreed.” Gunner nodded, his shoulders relaxing only slightly. “I just, wanted to officially apologize for being so unprofessional in your presence. I should’ve been more careful. We should’ve been more careful. You see, we don’t always get to be on the same assignments together. Vin and I. Our boss, Jensen, believes it’d be a conflict of interest. That our emotions would get in the way and we’d end up trying to save each other instead of our client.”

Genevieve nodded as she listened. “I get where he’s coming from. If I were in your position and the person I loved was put in danger, I wouldn’t care if it was my job or not. I’d want to protect them at any cost.”

A ghost of a smile haunted his lips. “Exactly. But that doesn’t really work when we’re getting paid to protect someone else.”

“To be honest, I’m glad I have you both here, watching over me.” Genevieve shifted away so that she could move toward the bed and sit on the edge. Gunner slipped further into the room and shut the door partially, leaving it open by only a crack. Genevieve tried not to smile at his concern of her comfort being left alone in a room with a man. “I know what I write might have some people completely duped on who I really am. I write erotic romances with some touching on BDSM. That doesn’t mean I’m comfortable around men. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I’ve never been quite confident in myself, or the way I look. It might be a cliche, but it’s how I was raised. My parents looked down on me for being overweight, even though no matter the diet plan or exercise routine they had given me helped in any way. They still saw a lazy, unambitious woman who eventually fell into the pit of a lascivious lifestyle. They think that because I write about women getting railed every other chapter that it’s my life. That I have sex with countless men, women, anyone that would have me.”

Gunner’s brow continued to dive deeper and deeper into a frown as each sentence left Genevieve’s lips. “I’m sure they don’t believe that.”

“Oh, of course they do. They’ve mentioned as much. Along with calling me all kinds of names and slurs. You probably didn’t know, that my sister is getting married and I’m not invited to the wedding.”

Genevieve tried to laugh, but the sound was hollow and her chest ached when she forced it out.

“Oh honey.” Gunner slipped into the chair next to the desk and swiveled it around so that he could face Genevieve. He grabbed her hands in his and squeezed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to choose between your family and your career.”

Through the hot tears that were beginning to burn her vision, Genevieve nodded and laughed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be throwing this all on you.”

“Oh trust me, Gunner loves gossip.”

Vin pushed the door open just a crack more and peeked in, a wry smirk twisting his lip up. Although she knew she should’ve been embarrassed another man was seeing her cry, Genevieve couldn’t help but release a soft giggle that caused her to reel back and cover her mouth.

“That’s true, isn’t it.” She wiped at her cheeks to dry them as Vin stepped into the room further.

“We’re more than capable of doing our job,” Vin began, “But we know that we crossed a line that night. We all did. Raphael more so than the rest of us. We came to check on you because we know he won’t. He can’t.”

“He’s too ashamed.” Gunner added in once he saw Genevieve’s confused expression. “He doesn’t know how to apologize to you, especially when he doesn’t want to.”

“What do you mean?”

“He enjoyed it. We could all see it. You did too.” Vin drawled.

Genevieve blushed again and staired at her interlocked fingers.

“He doesn’t want to apologize for something that he was glad happened. But he also knows that it was wrong and he’s afraid of how you’ll think of him now. After what he did.”

“But I don’t think of him any differently. Sure I’m embarrassed about that night, but more with myself than anything. With how much I…” Genevieve trailed off, staring at the wall as though the words she were trying to grasp would magically appear there.

“How much you wanted it?” Gunner coaxed softly, his thumbs rubbing along the sides of her hands.

Genevieve nodded and smiled softly. “But he’s my bodyguard. He’s to keep my safe. That’s it. Once we’re done in the city I’ll be returning home. I’ll never see any of you guys again.”

Gunner tilted his head as he pondered her words. “Do you really think he’d let you go so easily?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, by the way, you got another gift.” Vin pushed all of the way into the room now, carrying a small box that was wrapped perfectly in black and pink wrapping paper. A pink bow sat on top of it.

For a split second the image of her stalker flashed behind Genevieve’s eyelids and her throat squeezed shut, a noose tightening around her lungs.

“Don’t worry. We vetted it. It’s not the stalker. At least not the one we’re protecting you from.” Vin reached over Gunner to hand it to her before he dropped his hand onto Gunner’s shoulder and stepped back.

Genevieve held the package that was cool to the touch, her hands softly trembling. “Then who…?”

“Haven’t you gotten other gifts before?” Gunner inquired.

The flowers from the hotel popped up in her mind and Genevieve’s thoughts froze once more. The secret admirer that had sent her gifts. There had been two more, much similar to the first one, with equally as cryptic messages. They were all difficult to trace, even the men couldn’t find the person that’d sent them.

“Well,” Gunner prodded. “Are you gonna open it?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Genevieve didn’t want to admit it, but there was a slight tingle of anticipation in her body. It hummed along her veins, waiting to find what was within the package. Carefully, she untapped the edges and unfolded the neatly wrapped box. She went slow, not wanting to tear a single part of the beautiful paper. The box itself was small and unique. It was velvet, a maroon hue that gave her a slight shiver as she ran her finger across the top. It was a jewelry box, one the perfect size for a necklace or ring.

With her breath held painfully in her chest, Genevieve creaked the box open.

Her vision blurred and it took her all of thirty seconds to register what it was that she was looking at.

It was a necklace. Gold in color, though she wasn’t sure if it was real or not. The pendant was a ruby set into the grasp of two gold hands. It was as though someone were using the two hands as a metaphor for handing her the ruby. A jewel as crimson as blood. With a quick look at the back, Genevieve caught the inscription, “For my love” etched into the glimmering piece.

“It’s beautiful.” Gunner smiled.

“It’s expensive.” Was what fell from Genevieve’s lips. How had someone been able to afford this? Why give it to her of all people? She hadn’t met this admirer, at least to her knowledge, and yet here they were giving her jewelry that might have costed them a fortune.

Even though she couldn’t get over the fact on how someone could afford it, Genevieve also refused to let the necklace go. She held it in her hand, staring down at it. She would tip it into the light so that she could watch it shine brighter.

“Would you like me to help you put it on?” Gunner offered, his hand out.

“Oh, sure.”

Genevieve sat still as Gunner placed the necklace against her neck and clasped it in the back. She felt odd, accepting a gift from a man she didn’t know, but Vin and Gunner hadn’t said a word about it. They made sure her stalker was no where near her, and yet this secret admirer was allowed to know exactly where she was and who she was with. She wanted to ask them questions, interrogate them, but the men stood and smiled down at her.

“Don’t forget, we have the meeting with the Chaos Dragons tomorrow. Raphael is out making arrangements for keeping security tight, since they want the meeting at their mall. On their turf. It will be the safest place, technically.” Gunner explained as he moved toward the door with Vin.

“What do you mean technically?”

“Well, the Chaos Dragons don’t handle violence on their turf very well. They’ll kill anyone that so much as tries it. That’s the upside. The downside, is that it’s very easy to piss one of them off, and then it’ll be our heads on teh chopping block.”

Genevieve’s eyes widened, her heart in her throat. “You don’t think…”

“Don’t worry. They asked for you specifically. That means they’re interested in your books and you. There’ll be a crowd so even if they wanted to, none of them would act within the walls of the mall. They wouldn’t want the hassle of getting the cops involved. You’ll be safe during the meeting.”

Genevieve hesitated before nodding, her eyes still on the two of her bodyguards. “Thank you both.”

“No problem,” Gunner grinned. “Now get some writing done before Karoline comes back tomorrow and tears us a new one for distracting you.”

“Hah, yeah, okay.”

Genevieve smiled at them as they left the room and she was once again all alone. She touched the necklace at the nape of her neck and sighed. Peace washed over her and she got up and plopped herself back down at her computer.

“Okay, let’s get this shit over with.”