Chapter 154
Elliott pulled his car over off of the road and slowly made his way toward the officers. One of them, Officer Garret, who had been there the night Reggie died, and whom Elliott had gotten to know well over the years, saw him coming and stopped what he was doing, talking to the other officer and the ambulance workers. Almost in slow motion, Officer Garret approached across the uneven ground.
About ten feet away, he called out, “Mr. Sanderson, why are you here?”
“I don’t know,” Elliott admitted. “I saw the ambulance and police car go by. I just… had a bad feeling. It’s…” he couldn’t get the words to come out of his mouth at first. “It’s my kid brother, ain’t it, Officer Garret?”
The older man drew in a deep breath and straightened his belt. “We ain’t sure yet, son. We can’t really tell at this point. Looks like a young boy. Your folks’ place is just up the road, ain’t it? Your Jimmy like to play near these tracks?”
Elliott nodded to both questions. The sound of more approaching sirens behind him drew his head around for a moment, but mostly, his eyes were focused on that shoe. “Is he….” He didn’t need to finish the question. And he didn’t need to hear the answer to know.
Officer Garret nodded. Whoever was under that six-ton train was long gone.
“Can I… see the shoe?”
“Certainly, son,” Officer Garret said, turning slowly and walking beside Elliott as he traveled closer to the remnant perched in the middle of the road like a trail marker. He knew it was Jimmy’s before he even stooped to pick it up, but he did it nonetheless. He remembered him unwrapping these last Christmas. He’d been so happy, and Peggy had smiled to see her son receive a gift he liked.
Elliott held the shoe as if it were made of ancient paper and likely to crumble in his hands and blow away in the wind. It was the right size, the same color, and even had the frayed ends on one side of the shoelace his mom had been nagging Jimmy about the last time he’d visited.
The bicycle looked like it had been dropped by the side of the tracks, and as Elliott approached it, there was plenty of evidence that this bike belonged to his brother. He saw the spot where he’d ran into a tree last summer and scratched the paint a little near the handlebars and the worn spot in the seat where the stuffing was beginning to stick out a bit.
There was no way to prepare himself for what he was about to encounter at the other end of that locomotive. The officer had said they couldn’t identify him, and he was certain that was because when a train hits a person, there’s not much left. He walked slowly toward the spot on the tracks where the engine had come to a halt. Very little of the body was visible from here, but there was enough. One arm was sticking out slightly from the far side and a leg from the knee down, mangled at the point of separation, was pushed off to side of the track. The foot wore a matching Converse.
Tears were streaming down his face already before he was even able to acknowledge for the officers and medical personnel that he was certain the remains were his little brother Jimmy. “Oh, God!” Elliott exclaimed, trying to keep himself under control as much as possible. He covered his face with his hands, wondering how in the world he was going to tell his parents what had happened. He could hardly understand it himself.
Officer Garret squeezed his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Elliott,” he said quietly. “We’ll do our best to get Jimmy out of there so there can be a proper burial.”
Elliott nodded, but there were no words he could say as he began to sob, and Garrett turned him away from the scene, pulling him back toward the squad car. He heard another man crying on the far side of the train and caught a glimpse just before the engine blocked the view. It looked like it was the conductor. All he could hear was, “I tried to stop. He wouldn’t get out of the way….”
The words cut through Elliott’s heart. He had, of course, believed this was all an accident, that Jimmy had somehow gotten caught on the tracks trying to cross when it was an inopportune time, or gotten his foot caught, something explainable. But this—the idea that this might have somehow been on purpose—was more than he could bear. By the time Officer Garrett got him into the back of his car, he was inconsolable. How could he have let his little brother get into such a state that he would take his own life? Why would he do such a thing when all he ever wanted to do was join LIGHTS and protect others? No, it just didn’t seem possible that Jimmy would stand in front of a train and let his young life come to an end so tragically.
Ten minutes, an hour, Elliott wasn’t sure how much time went by before Officer Garrett ducked inside his car and said, “Son, we need to go up the road and let your folks know. I can do it, but….”
“No,” Elliott said, finally managing somehow to pull himself together. “I’ll do it. I just… I don’t think I can drive myself right now.”
“I’ll give you a ride, Elliott.” The officer went around and climbed inside the patrol car and headed down the road. Elliott saw a lot more vehicles there now, and a stretcher was set up on the side of the road, though he could see that the body hadn’t been removed yet, though the severed leg was gone. For the first time, he realized he was still clutching Jimmy’s shoe.
It didn’t take long for them to arrive at his parents’ house. Elliott wiped his face on the back of his jacket sleeve several times after the handkerchief he carried in his pocket failed him. He wasn’t much of a praying man, but he said a few silent pleas that he’d find the right words to tell his parents the tragic news without making it even harder.
Peggy was out the door before the car even stopped, and she was moving much faster than humanly possible, a sign that her gut instinct had also told her something was wrong. Elliott came around the side of the car, and as soon as she saw his face, and the empty tennis shoe, she began to sob. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around his mother as Frank made his way out the door. He looked up and caught his foster father’s eyes, and he too, wrapped his arms around both Peggy and Elliott.
It seemed like forever the three of them stood there drawing upon each other’s strength and leaning on each other when they had nothing left to give. Eventually, Peggy stopped crying and stood up, causing the men to do the same. “What… what happened?” she asked. “Did he… was it the train?”
Elliott nodded. That’s all he could do.
“And you… saw him.”
He swallowed hard, trying to fight back his tears enough to answer the question. “Wasn’t much, but… it’s him.”
She nodded once, and covered her face with both hands. Frank wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
Officer Garrett stepped over and explained they were doing their best to extricate the body, and once they had him out, the coroner would determine what to do next. He wasn’t sure if they’d be allowed to view the body or not, to which Peggy insisted she needed to see him, no matter what. Office Garret nodded, and took his leave, promising they’d be in touch, soon. He even volunteered to have Elliott’s car dropped off, but he assured the officer he’d get it later.
He followed his parents in and set about the unbelievable task of planning a funeral for his kid brother, the one person in the world he was certain would last forever. Even without the magical Transformation process, Jimmy Lee Baker was the type of kid who was destined to do things, Elliott had just known in it. Now, they’d be putting pieces of him into a wooden box and sinking him into the ground before he even reached seventeen. Just like Reggie, so much potential had been lost with absolutely no explanation or reason. Elliott decided in that moment there was no way to make sense of a nonsensical world.
