11

Valentina

Three days have passed since the powder room incident. I’ve been holed up here on Staten Island, planning my next move. I open up my laptop and check the surveillance Rico sent through. He’s the only other one I have divulged my secret to. The fewer people involved, the better. I watch the sick bastard on the screen as he drags an innocent woman by her hair into his strip club and fuck knows what she’s had to endure since. I just fucking hope she’s still alive. If all my ducks line up, I’ll have this fuckers head on a plate in no time.

I hear a knock on my door and quickly shut my laptop. “Come in.”

The door swings open and in storms Vito. “Are you alone?” He looks around the room as though I’ve been harboring a fugitive.

“Uh, yes.” I glance at him in confusion. “What’s wrong with you?”

He belly flops onto my king size bed, messing up my sheets. “We got the fuckers who smashed your face up. Seems they were lying about me being in debt with them. I’ve never met the bastards in my life.”

“What do you mean?” He’s piqued my interest.

“Someone else sent them, Valentina. You need to be careful.” He looks at me then, the older brother concern shining through.

I pat his hand. “I think I’ll be okay.”

“I’m fucking serious. Listen, these guys aren’t part of some mafia syndicate. They don’t give a fuck who your daddy is. Do you understand?”

“Jesus. Yes, okay. I get it. I’ll carry my gun on me.” I huff in annoyance. The last thing I need is for Papa to get wind of this and never let me leave the house without a bodyguard.

“I don’t like the thought of you going back to Verona. There’s no one to watch your back there. I promised Mom I’d look after you with my life if, needed.”

“Vito. Stop,” I interrupt him. “I love you but you don’t need the burden of looking after me. I’ll be fine.”

“If anything were to happen to you, I think I’d burn the whole fucking world down getting whoever hurt you.” He play punches me, lightening the mood.

“And I’d do the same for you, shit head.” I push at his shoulder.

“Are you going to go through with this arranged marriage?”

“Discussing all the heavy stuff today, are we?”

“Valentina, you can’t ignore it.”

“Then why act as though I have a choice, to begin with? I’m hoping that somehow it all fizzles out before the big day. I’ll go through with this stupid engagement tonight, but let’s see how it plays out,” I sigh, the thought both angering me and exciting me. Which is not how I want to be feeling.

“You know Papa won’t take no for an answer.”

“Why the hell does he have to do this? First, it was Enzo and now Giovanni. Thank fuck Enzo had Summer. I think I would have murdered him.” I smile at the thought.

He laughs, “Enzo isn’t that bad.”

“Promise me that when you take over this family, you won’t arrange your daughter’s life for her.” I glare at him, daring him not to agree with me.

“We’ll both be ruling this family together. All in it together.” He holds his fist up to me as we used to when we were children, and I tap my mine to his.

“All in it together,” I repeat the words.

Oh, dear brother of mine. If only you knew the real me and how much I keep from you so that you’re not mixed in all my shit. If only I could tell you the reasons I do the things I do. I’d half my burden but double my guilt.

I can still smell the distinct cologne mixed with the sweat the fucker was wearing the night my innocent life imploded. He wore a balaclava to hide his face, but I still remember his expensive, polished shoes and his gold Rolex watch. He didn’t smell like he belonged in the mildew-infested room. He was obviously from money and dressed to the nines in an expensive Italian designer suit. The others didn’t wear anything to hide their identities, their faces on full display for me to catalog in my memory. The balaclava one stood at the door as each one of the others entered the room where my mom was held captive. The brutality seeped through the door crack in waves of agony and pain. I tried to help her, but I couldn’t get my legs and arms loose from the tight rope wrapped around them. I struggled on the floor for what seemed like hours as her screams became muffled groans, and that’s when the balaclava one entered. Her screams returned for a while, and then silence fell.

“Valentina.” Vito shakes my arm to get me to concentrate on him. “Hello, where did you go?”

“Daydreaming, as usual.” I force a smile and hope he doesn’t push me for more information.

Vito’s phone rings and he answers. “I’ll be right there. Don’t let Dante do anything stupid.” He jumps off the bed and heads out the door without turning around.

I shake my head at the thought of what my idiot cousins are up to. They cause more trouble than anyone else I know, always doing shoddy deals with people they shouldn’t be associating with.

I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling.

Tonight is the night of the engagement party; held at The Ritz-Carlton, a request of Giovanni’s. Why it needs to be such a fanfare, I’ll never understand. I grab my Marlboro packet off the bedside table and light one up, dragging it deep into my lungs. My cigarette habit is one I need to kick. Even I know that. But it calms my nerves and curbs my anger. If Vana or Papa find out I’ve been smoking in my room again, they’re going to freak. My phone buzzes next to me and I grab it to see who’s texting me.

Summer: Are you getting ready like I’ve organized?

Me: Of course I am!

Summer: Valentina! The hairdresser texted me to say she’s waiting downstairs for you.

Me: Oops. Going down there now. Love you!

Summer: You better wear the fucking dress we picked out! Now get off your butt and get ready. Love you too. xx

Me: I wouldn’t dream of wearing anything else. I’ve seen your perfect aim.

Summer: See you tonight.

I put out the cigarette and wave the pillow around to get some of the smoke out the double doors that lead to my balcony. I get my ass off the bed and reluctantly stride to where the hairdresser is patiently waiting. I see her before she sees me and I immediately hope she isn’t overly cheery and chatty. I have no desire to pretend to be super excited about tonight.

“Hi, sorry I didn’t realize you were here.” I hold out my hand to shake hers.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. Summer has filled me in on everything. I promise not to bore you with engagement crap.” She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it, a sign to say she knows enough.

“Thank you.” I grin back and relief washes over me knowing the afternoon will pass without having to pretend. Thank you, Summer. I mentally note that I owe her, big time.

_ _ _

I run my fingers through the dark curls of the fraud staring back at me in my floor to ceiling mirror, not even recognizing myself.

Her features are a stark contrast to the turmoil festering within her. I glance down at my long baby-pink gown, my mom’s favorite color, with its sparkling sequinned material and open back.

A lone tear falls to the floor. I wish she were here to hold me and let me know all this will be okay. I would give anything to have just one more hug, one more kiss on the cheek. Hell, I’d settle for just a glance at her beautiful smile. I wish I could take back all the times I made her worry and erase them for her. The pain and regret of not making the most of every moment with her while she was here is worse than the pain of losing her. There’s no fighting the sickening heartache. It sits solid as a rock, heavy in my chest, screaming at me every fucking day.

Visions of that day haunt me, playing like a carousel over and over again. Visions that turn my nightmares into a welcome escape. I suck in a sob as the door to my room opens.

“My beautiful girl.” Vana clasps her hands together and looks up at the ceiling.

“Thanks,” I sniff.

“Please don’t cry. Your mom would want you to be happy, even in these shitty circumstances.” She strides over and wraps her comforting arms around my waist, holding me tightly.

“Did you just say shitty?” I snort-laugh, glad I have her here with me.

She smiles at me and places her hand over my heart. “Your mom lives here. Her love lives on in you and your brother. Look at the stars at night and know she is watching over you. She is always with you, my dear girl.” She leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

“Thanks, Vana. I don’t think I could have lived through these years without you.” I try not to cry.

“My, Principessa. Go show those men who is boss.” She cups my cheek gently before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

Vana’s words linger in my soul, and I pace over to my dressing table to pick up my mom’s diamond necklace. I haven’t worn any of her jewelry since she left, my heart couldn’t deal with it. But tonight, I feel like I need her close to be my strength when I cannot.

“Mom, I miss you so fucking much and I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.” I tilt my head back and swallow the golf ball-sized lump in my throat. I take in a deep breath as I clasp the necklace together. It sits heavy against my décolletage, a grounding reminder that I’m doing all this for her.

“Valentina,” Papa’s voice echoes up the stairs.

“Hold up!” I yell back as I strap my feet into my new Valentino stilettos. I quickly grab my blade and tuck it into the slimline holster strapped to my upper thigh. It sits snuggly against Medusa. I take one last glance at the unrecognizable woman staring back at me and can’t wait for this charade to be over.