Chapter Eleven

(Derek's POV)

"Okay. See you guys in a few. Bye."
I end the call and slid the phone back to my pocket. I shook my head, amused about Cooper. He has gone nuts again. He took Reagan to a supermarket? What for? I guess I could never keep up on how his crazy mind works, and if I do, I'd probably end up reviewing why I survived being friends with him.

Leaning my head back on the reclining leather chair, I thought about my planned talk with my fellow Elders. When I got to the Headquarters, the four of them weren't there. I asked security for their whereabouts, and it seems Rockilian went to Germany to visit his clan, Talon and Connor went to California and Marcus, he didn't say where he was going.

What had me baffled though was that my older brother, Darren, came out from Marcus' office. It was suspicious because unauthorized persons can't get into our office, unless cleared by the Elders and security. I'd wanted to ask, out of curiosity, but remembered I didn't want to do anything with him, so I let it be and went home for some much needed shut eye.

I grimaced at the thought for having not enough sleep with all this stress.

My mind drifted to Reagan. Thinking about her made me smile for no particular reason. When I first met her two years ago, she was a curiosity to me. A mystery. When I listened to her story, I was shocked that those people close to her had the nerve to do such a thing. I could tell she didn't need pity nor sympathy. I had no clue why I took her, in but my gut tells me that she might be the one who can take me out of my depression about Miranda and Darren.

And I'm glad I did. She made the pain go away with the simplest gestures and that sweet smile of hers made my heart swell like a balloon. I had human friends, but Reagan was special in her own way.

She made me feel alive, piecing me back together good as new. From that moment on, my curiosity was replaced with brotherly affection.

But now, I am not so sure about it.

I was ripped out of my thoughts when I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Alexis stepped inside with a smile on her face, "Hey Derek. Did I interrupt you? Are you doing anything important?" she asked. She sauntered towards the chair in front of my desk and plopped down gracefully, making herself comfortable.

I shook my head,"No. I wasn't doing anything."

She smiled,"Okay. Well, I've talked with my mother about the wedding arrangements."

I frowned,"You agreed to this, Alexis? I thought we had an understanding about being against the idea of an arranged marriage." I said, quirking my eyebrow.

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably,"I know, but when I think about, why not give it a shot? We've been friends for a long time, Derek. I'm comfortable with you, and being married to you seems like a sensible thing for us. Our families are close, so yeah. If this marriage doesn't work well, we could always get a divorce." She said then shrugged.

I scoffed,"This is not trial and error, Alexis. Marriage is something to be cherished, not some experiment. I admit that I'm comfortable with you, but your way going about this is crazy." I said, glowering at her.

What on earth Alexis is thinking about? She's treating this like some test run!

She gave me a sheepish look,"Okay, maybe that came out wrong. I'm sorry for saying that. But, I have a feeling we could make this work."

I frowned, "I don't know..." I trailed.

"Derek, this marriage of convenience could be good for us. Unless," she paused for moment then continued, "unless you're holding back because of someone." She said, eyeing me suspiciously.

I snorted,"Me? Holding back?" I asked and she nodded, "No. Of course not. Why would I be? I have no one holding me back." I said but it sounded I'm trying to convince myself.

She nodded and smiled,"Good. So it's settled then."

I thought for a moment. Would I go through with it? I don't love Alexis, but I could learn somehow. Loving someone is a process, so maybe I could do it, but my heart wasn't set on the idea.

"I'll think about it, Alex."

She looked slightly disappointed but quickly covered it up with a smile,"Okay, I understand." Then she stood up,"I'll go cook dinner. I hope you're hungry." She said, walking towards the door.

I nodded,"Yeah, a little but wait--" she cut me off.

She smiled, "Excellent!" she chirped on the doorway,"I hope you like Bolognese."

"Yes, but--" she cut me off again.

She grinned,"Cool. I know where the kitchen is. Just sit there and relax. Think of this as practice for our soon-to-be married life." Then walked off to the kitchen.

"But it's Reagan's favorite thing to cook dinner for me..." I muttered and in a whisper, "and I haven't said yes to marrying you." I leaned back in my seat and heaved out a frustrated sigh.

It has always been a routine for Reagan to cook dinner while I cook breakfast and lunch. It felt wrong breaking the routine. When Reagan comes home knowing Alexis cooked for dinner, she'd probably be disappointed and heaven forbid, hurt.

After half an hour or so, I heard a rev car outside then after a few seconds, it stopped. I heard car doors opening and closing, then some animated chatter.

That must be them, so I stood up from my seat and walked out of my study to greet them at the front door.


(Reagan's POV)

"I'm pretty sure that old lady will have nightmares about talking apples." I teased while getting out of the car then slamming the door shut.

Cooper got out and slammed the door to his side too,"Please." He scoffed then rolled his eyes, "I was doing her a favor in making her dull life exciting." He said, walking to the front door. I went around the car and fell into step with him,"She would thank me for it. I'm sure." He added, grinning.

I glared playfully, "How would you know that her life is not that exciting? Huh?" we were now standing outside the front door.

Cooper grabbed the knob but before he opened it, he answered,"Because I'm cool like that." He opened the door and got in.

I got in as well and shoved him,"You're such a dork, Cooper." I said.

He staggered a bit,"Hey!" he cried,"no need to show hostility."

"You both are a bunch of kids." A new voice said.

I whipped my head and saw Derek standing there with an amused expression. Seeing his handsome face always takes my breath away. I walked towards him then gave me a hug,"Bonsoir, monsieur Derek." I greeted in French [Good Evening, Derek]

He hugged me back and kissed the top of my head,"Bonsoir, ma cherie." He replied [Good Evening, my darling]

My heart skipped a beat. There he goes again calling me 'ma cherie'.

I cleared my throat and pulled away from him,"Uh... you hungry? I'll go to the kitchen and cook something. What do you want?" I asked while walking to the kitchen.

"Reagan, about that..." Derek said, following me.

As I neared the kitchen, I caught a whiff of something delicious. I turned around and faced him,"Are you cooking?" Why would he? He knows that it was our ritual that I cook dinner while he does breakfast and lunch.

He looked rather uncomfortable. He was rubbing the back of his neck looking sheepish,"Well the thing is--" but he was interrupted by a melodic female voice. I spun around to see.

She was really gorgeous around 5"10' in height with long raven black hair, stunning blue eyes and a body to die for body. She had on a purple flowy tube dress that was a few inches above her knees and a silver strappy stiletto sandals.

She made feel mediocre.

I had a sense of deja vu with when I said mediocre.

That was weird.

She smiled, "Hey Reagan. It's nice to see you again."

I frowned,"Uh, do I know you?" Have we met before?

She shot me a confused look, "We met--" but she was cut off by Derek.

"You must be mistaken her for someone, Alexis." He said with a warning look. The woman, Alexis, stared at Derek in disbelief. I darted my eyes from Derek, then to Alexis, then back to Derek. It seems that they are having a conversation with their eyes.

Uhuh.

Alexis cleared her throat and gave me a apologetic look, "I'm sorry. I guess I mixed you up with someone I know." Then she stepped forward and shot out her hand, "I'm Alexis."

I slowly reached out to shake her hand then gave her a small smile. They're really acting weird, "I'm Reagan. I'm guessing you have a friend of the same name and face, huh?" I teased to lighten the mood.

She laughed nervously, "Ha haha... yeah. You can say that." Then pulled out her hand from my grasp, "I hope you're hungry. I made Bolognese." She grinned.

"Oh." That was all I can say. I guess I didn't need to cook since someone did it for me. I looked at Derek, who was staring at me nervously. I gave him a smile to reassure him that it was fine, though on the inside, it hurt... a bit. "Uh, yeah, I'm hungry. It smells good, by the way."

She grinned, "I already set the table. Can you help me out serving the food, Reagan?" she asked.

I nodded, "Sure. No problem."

She turned to face Derek and Cooper, "You guys go ahead to the dining room."

They both nodded and went to the dining room while Alexis and I headed for the kitchen.

*************************

We were all sat on the rectangular cherry wood dining table. Derek was seated across from me, while Alexis sat next to him. Cooper was next to me. It was rather tense but I tried my best to shrug it off, so that I could enjoy the food Alexis cooked, which by the way, looked scrumptious.

We started eating our food, having a small talk here and there, well mostly just Derek, Cooper and Alexis. They sometimes include me with their conversations, only if it's familiar to me, other than that, the rest was more on the grown up stuff. I felt sort of out of place among them. They look beautiful, and they have this certain grace in every move, like a dance. The deepness of their conversations was the most intriguing, and I can't really help but stare at them with such wonderment.

Alexis put down her fork and touched Derek's arm, "By the way, Derek, my mother will take care of the wedding preparations. I know guys can't take all the fuss about planning."

He sighed, "Alexis..." he trailed.

I put down my fork and looked at Alexis, "You're getting married?"

She nodded and smiled, "Yes. I'm actually looking forward to it."

I smiled, "Who's the lucky guy? I'm sure he would be so happy to have you as his wife, Alexis." It's true. She's a great catch. If I were a guy, I would seriously be all over her. Oh god, that sounded so wrong.

Derek all of sudden clenched his jaw tight and his eyes became hard. Is he jealous that Alexis is getting married? Does he like her? Thinking about it had my stomach churned. I really need to get my emotions in check. I'm acting weird today.

Her smile got bigger and linked her arm around Derek's, "The lucky guy is Derek." She looked at him and beamed.

My heart stopped. That piece of information had me on a spiral. My emotions were all over the place, and I can't seem to wrap my mind around it, then it all went blank. I mean, it is expected that one day Derek will get married and have a family of his own. I don't have the right to restrain him of his happiness, because he has a life to lead too. He deserves to be happy. I want him to be happy.

Sooner or later, I need to stand on my own two feet and get used to the fact that he won't be there for me anymore. It will take some time, but one way or the other, it will all come down to this road.

A life without Derek.

I plucked up the courage to plaster a smile that was not forced, "Congratulations to both of you." I said.

Cooper however was just shaking his head.

"Reagan, I haven't said yes yet." Derek retorted angrily.

I gasped, "Why not? Alexis is a great girl." I glowered at him then flicked my eyes to Alexis and gave her an apologetic look, "Don't mind Derek. He was just being a jerk." Then I shot him a dirty look.

Alexis unwound her arms from Derek and started eating again, "So Reagan, what are your plans for college?" she said, changing the subject.

I thought about going to fashion school in Paris, France. I really wanted to be a fashion designer and be among the sought after designers in the world. It's been my dream since I started watching fashion shows on TV when I was 13 years old and looking at models strut the designers clothes on the ramp - it looked exhilarating. I wanted to feel the sense of pride in showing your masterpiece for the whole world to see.

"Maybe after high school I'll take some time off to save for fashion school in Paris. Maybe a few odd jobs here and there. I've always want to be a designer." I said nonchalantly.

Derek cleared his throat, "You want to move out after graduating high school?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. I can't stay here forever, you know." I said, my voice almost cracking at the end. I need to get out of here. If I continue to sit here, I might do something stupid. I stood up and gave them an apologetic look, "I'm sorry but I have to do my homework. I'm way behind right now, so enjoy the rest of the night." I pushed myself out of the table and walked out of the room.

Every step I took felt like lead as I walked towards the stairs. I willed myself not to feel emotional, because the situation wasn't worth wasting tears. I didn't need to cry. It would be stupid. This was bound to happen, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The only consolation I had left was my last remaining months with Derek, and I will try to make the most of it. It will hurt to leave, but he had a life, too. He would start a family, and I would be just a third wheel.

I heard footsteps behind me. I knew it was Derek, so I just continued to walk, trying my best not to turn around. I was about to go up the stairs when he grabbed my arm and whirled me around.

His eyes were swirling with emotions that I couldn't figure out. It was all in a jumbled mess and it continued to dance like a storm. He bored his conflicting dark blue eyes to mine, "Little one, you don't need to move out. You can stay here as long as you want. You know that." He said the last part fiercely.

I sighed and slowly pried his arms off my arm, "Derek, I don't want to depend on you forever. I don't want to be a burden."

He frowned, "But you are not." He argued back.

I smiled sadly, "You need to have a life, Derek. I'm the one who's holding you back from the happiness you deserve. I can't do that to you." I moved closer to him, "I want you to be happy." I whispered softly.

He looked down on me, giving me the most tender expression. I wanted to cry, because that was the look he gave me when we first met two years ago."You are my happiness, Reagan." He moved closer to me, not a space between us, "Always have. Always will."

I frowned, "No, I'm not. Alexis is. She's your fiance, remember?" I reached out to cup his cheek with both hands and stroke his defined cheek bones, "Let's face it, Derek. This was bound to happen. Look on the bright side; we still have a few months left 'till I graduate. I'm not leaving yet." I said, chuckling a bit. He didn't find my humor funny so I stopped. I dropped my hands to my sides and stepped back, "I have to go do my homework." And without a second glance, I dashed up the stairs two at the time. When I reached the top, I sped to my room, opened the door and shut it behind me.

I leaned my back on the door and slowly slide down to the ground.

I did the right thing.

It had to be done.

It was for the best.

As much I would like to take back what I said, I can't.

I was the one holding him back.

He deserves Alexis.

I want him to be happy.

I will try my best to keep my distance but 'till then, I will carry this realization in my heart, which hit me like a ton of bricks.

I, Reagan Lila Alden, am in love with Derek Josef Kolinkar.

My Benefactor.

...and I cried.



(Derek's POV)

"You just had to bring that up, hadn't you, Alexis?!" I growled at her. We were now in my study, conferring about Alexis blunt spectacle about the wedding. Cooper excused himself and went somewhere. I know he didn't want to witness a confrontation, because he hated drama.

She frowned, "What? Is it wrong of me to mention about the wedding?" she crossed her legs and eyed me curiously.

I glared, "I didn't say yes to you, Alexis." I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and pointer finger, "This is all too messed up."

"Derek, tell me the truth, are you in love with Reagan?" she asked.

Without warning, I let out all of my emotions and told her the thing that hit me like a battering ram, "Yes! I'm in love with Reagan!" I snapped. I was breathing heavily when my words sank in like an anvil that plummeted directly to my head. I just said I'm in love with Reagan.

She sighed and smiled sadly, "I can see the way you look at her, Derek. That tender look you gave her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. But she's human, Derek. You're a pure blood. An Elder. You can't get involved with a human."

"Why? Because you are more deserving than her?" I snapped angrily.

She nodded, "Yes. I am the one you need, Derek. Not her. If you tell her that you're a vampire, would she accept you? She doesn't belong to our world, and you know it. You know the laws and hierarchy. And what if she accepts you? Can you handle the fact that she is a converted vampire just so that you will be together? The converted vampires are on the bottom list on the hierarchy, Derek. She will never be accepted to our circle, and you will lose your credibility of being an Elder." She said.

As much as I would like to disagree with her, she's right. If I turned Reagan so that she could be with me, she would be mistreated by the pure bloods. Never to be accepted and treated like shit. But could I compromise my position of being an Elder and be with Reagan?

I have made my decision.

Alexis stood up and walked towards the door. She stopped and glanced over her shoulder, "I will wait for you decision. No rush." Then opened the door.

"Wait!"

She stopped and turn around to face me. "Yes, Derek?" she asked.

I sighed, "Alright. I'll marry you."

Her face broke out to a grin and ran to my direction, jumping into my arms, "You have made a wise decision, Derek. You won't regret it. You'll see." She murmured in my neck.

I breathed out a deep sigh and hung my head, not able to hug her back.

I am such a coward.



(Reagan's POV)

It's been a week since I had that talk with Derek. I tried my best to avoid him at all cost, because when I see his face, I feel myself crumble and lose all logic.

Though when we did see each other at home, I just put on a civil front, trying to be cool and collected but on the inside, I was dying. But I have to be strong for myself, so that I could get through this. In time, I will get over my love for him and sincerely hope that I would get past this.

I was sitting with Bryson and Ciara at lunch. As usual, Ciara's still blabbing about her wedding plans and I'm already sick of hearing it. I tuned her out, not wanting to hear her gushing all of her plans and what not.

"Reagan? Reagan? Hello? Earth to Reagan?"

I blinked my eyes and saw Ciara giving me an annoyed look, "Uh, sorry. You were saying?"

She scoffed, "I've been trying to get your attention for the last two minutes, but you spaced out on me. What's wrong with you?" she spat.

I sighed and rubbed my temples, feeling the incoming headache from all her whining, "I just had a lot of things on my mind, Ciara, okay?"

She glared, "What? Is it more important than listening to me?"

That hit a chord. I stood up and gave her a dark look, "Look Ciara, you don't need to bitch at me just because I haven't been paying attention to you. Not everyone revolves around you!" I snapped at her angrily. All my pent-up emotions came rolling out like a river unable to stop, "I am sick with all your yapping and gushing. It's making me sick."

She stood up and glared at me, "What did you say?"

I held up palm toward her, "Whatever. I'm out." And with that I walked out of the cafeteria.

I didn't know where I was heading. I just walked and walked and before I knew it, I found myself leaning on the locker then slid to the ground crying.

I feel so pathetic.

I didn't notice someone sitting beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, cooing that everything was going to be alright. I looked up from my tear-stained face and saw Bryson looking at me, "Hey." He said.

I wiped my tears with my hand and gave him a sad smile, "Hey."

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

I hung my head, "I don't know if I'm going to be."

"Remember the time when I took you out on our first date?" He asked.

I stared at him confused, "Yeah, what about it?"

He chuckled, "Well, when I walked you to your door to say goodnight..."

"And..." I trailed, not knowing where this conversation heading.

He smiled, "I was about to lean in to give you a kiss, you immediately blurted 'I'm a virgin!' then blushed a crimson red. It was the cutest thing in the world that you were so innocent and naive."

I covered my face with my hands feeling the embarrassment. Yeah, I remember that. I was so innocent back then. I was 15, a freshman and a virgin, "Oh god. Don't remind me that." I said, laughing at the memory.

"There's that laugh I've been waiting for." He cheered.

I smiled, "Thanks, Bryson. I needed that."

He frowned, "I don't want to pry with your personal life, but whenever you need someone, you know you can talk to me, right?"

I pulled my legs up to my chest and propped my jaw on my knee, "I know, but Ciara would kill me."

He chuckled, "I can handle a terminator Ciara, don't worry. What's more important is you, Reagan." He smiled gently.

Bryson was always a sweet guy. He really does know how to make people laugh and forget about their problems, even for a short while.

After a moment, we lapsed back to silence. He was staring at me intently and I didn't notice that he was leaning in. To my surprise, I didn't leaned back. I waited for the gap to close and slowly, his lips crashed into mine.

It was a slow and tender kiss, a kiss that made me momentarily forget about Derek. The slow caressing motion we did as we move our lips in sync was familiar. Something that I totally miss.

I missed Bryson's kiss.

Then I remembered Ciara. Reality sank in so I pulled away immediately, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." I quickly apologized.

He leaned his forehead to mine, "Don't be sorry. I wasn't." He said huskily. His eyes were swirling with different emotions and the most dominant one was love.

Bryson was still in love with me.

I abruptly stood up, "I'm really sorry, Bryson. I was in my moment of weakness. I really shouldn't have done that." I said.

He grabbed my hand and held it gently, "Stop apologizing. I kissed you, not the other way around. I was the one taking advantage of your vulnerability." He pleaded.

I moved closer to him and hugged him. I let my emotions do all the talking because I'm tired making my brain do all the rational work for me. I thrown all logic and acted recklessly, not knowing the outcome of my actions. But, I need someone to hug me. I need someone to tell me everything's going to be alright.

And Bryson was there.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." I whimpered.

He hugged me back, "Everything's going to be alright, Reagan."

Once again, I cried.