Torn Between Two Worlds

Rowan had barely stepped out of my chambers before I started pacing, my breaths sharp and erratic. The familiar rhythm of my steps had vanished, replaced by an unsettling urgency. The flickering candlelight elongated the shadows on the stone walls, making the room feel increasingly oppressive with each passing moment. A jolt of discomfort seized me, forcing me to stop and clutch at my abdomen.

The room was carefully prepared for my departure. My horse was saddled in the courtyard, and my armor and weapons arranged for a swift exit. Instead of riding out to join James, I was confined here, grappling with a reality I had not anticipated. The baby's movements had intensified over the past few hours, signaling that labor was imminent.

A soft knock on the door cut through my mounting anxiety. Before I could respond, a maid entered, her face tight with concern. Her eyes fell on me, bent over, gasping for air.

"My lady, are you alright?" she asked, her voice laden with worry.

“I—”

A sharp contraction tore through me, cutting off my words. I staggered, gripping the edge of a nearby table, my knuckles white. The maid’s eyes widened, and she moved swiftly to my side.


“You are in labor?”
“We need to get you to the birthing chamber.”
“I cannot...”

My breath hitched as another wave of pain rolled over me.

“I need to go to James.”

The maid’s expression hardened.

“You are not going anywhere in this condition, my lady.”
“It is dangerous for both you and the baby.”

Gently but firmly, she guided me toward a cushioned chair in the corner. I sank into it, my breaths coming in sharp, shallow bursts as she hurried to gather blankets and pillows. The contractions were growing more frequent, and more intense, each one a reminder that my body had its urgent plans.

“Please… send for the midwife,” I gasped between contractions, my voice thin and strained.


The maid nodded and hurried to the door. I gripped the armrests of the chair, trying to steady my breathing. The room seemed to close in around me, shadows mocking my helplessness. Time dragged on as the maid returned with the midwife, Agnes, a calm, experienced woman who quickly assessed the situation.

“You are in active labor, my lady,” she said, her voice steady but firm.
“We need to get you to the birthing chamber immediately.”

I nodded, biting back tears of frustration.

“Please, make this quick.”
“I have to leave soon.”
“I will do my best, but your health and the baby’s safety come first.”

With the maid and Agnes’s assistance, I was carefully helped into the birthing chamber. The room was warm, and inviting, prepared with clean linens and the calming scent of lavender. They guided me onto the bed, and soon, the contractions became overwhelming, reducing my world to the pain and my effort to stay focused on breathing.

Agnes was calm, her voice steady as she guided me through the ordeal. As the hours passed, the pain grew unbearable. I gritted my teeth, pushing with everything I had left. Time blurred, stretched thin between each contraction, until finally, with a fierce, final effort, I felt the baby emerge.

The sound of my child’s cries filled the room, and a wave of exhaustion and relief crashed over me. Agnes gently wrapped the newborn and handed him to me. Trembling, I held him close, staring at his tiny face, the enormity of the moment sinking in.

I had brought life into this world, a tiny, fragile being. The fierce determination to fight for James and our kingdom was still burning inside me, but now, as I looked at my son, my priorities shifted slightly. I could not leave him behind, not now. My kingdom still needed me.

“I will not be kept from James forever,” I whispered to the baby, my voice low with conviction.
“For now, I must tend to you.”

Exhaustion pulled at me as I was returned to my chambers. The maid watched over the baby while I lay down, but sleep had barely settled over me when a sharp knock echoed at the door. The maid opened it, revealing a soldier standing on the threshold, his face pale, eyes grim.

“My lady,” the soldier said, his voice low and urgent.
“There is news from the front.”

I pulled the blanket tighter around me.

“What news?”

I demanded. The soldier hesitated before speaking.

“Alec has declared his intent to attack at daybreak.”
“It will be a full assault, and Lord James’s forces are still surrounded.”
“Alec’s armies have begun preparing siege weapons.”
“We do not have time to send reinforcements.”

His words hit me like a blow. Daybreak. Alec had forced James’s hand, trapping him. The exhaustion from childbirth vanished, replaced by a rising panic.

“He is trapping James,” I whispered, more to myself than the soldier.

My mind raced, searching for solutions, but all I could see was James facing Alec’s full force, surrounded and outnumbered. The maid, still holding the baby, stepped closer.

“You have just given birth,” she said softly.
“You cannot possibly—”
“I have to,” I snapped, before softening, my breath shaky.
“I must help him.”
“You need time to recover,” the maid insisted.
“You cannot ride into battle now, not like this.”

Anger surged in me, followed swiftly by helplessness. I wanted nothing more than to run to James, to fight beside him, to do anything but sit here while he faced Alec alone.

“What is James’s plan?”

The soldier shifted uncomfortably.

“Sir James has ordered his men to fortify their positions.”
“He plans to hold out as long as possible, but… they are outnumbered.”
“Without reinforcements, it will be difficult to win.”

I clenched my fists, anger boiling beneath my skin. I would not let Alec take James from me.

“I will not let him win,” I whispered fiercely.

The maid gently placed the baby in the cradle beside my bed, her expression soft with sympathy.

“You must think of the child too, my lady.”
“James would want you to be safe.”


I looked at my son, his tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. Tears burned at the edges of my eyes. How could I protect both him and the kingdom? How could I save James when I was trapped within these walls? The maid and soldier left, and I was alone with my thoughts. The night stretched on, oppressive and heavy, as dawn loomed closer, bringing with it the storm that would decide all our fates.