Chapter 50 Chapter 49

'From knowing just her name to knowing everything about her. It has been the most beautiful journey of their lives. He promised to stay with her forever!'
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After few months.......
"What the fuck is this, Ethan?", she whispered yelled smacking his shoulders hard. He turn around to find her furious. She was breathless in anger but she tried to calm herself down as they were in the middle of the Cafeteria.
"Hey, relax kathy", he tried to console her but before he could envelope her with his hug, she dodged the hug.
"How many times have I warned you Ethan, not to do something like this?", kathleen whispered yelled pointing out the hickey on her right side of the neck. EJ burst into laughter.
"That happened when we were in the middle of....", he chuckled and Kathleen covered his mouth before he would spill out their intimate moments.
"Oh no, I shouldn't have come here. Thank god I didn't hear any of your conversation", teased Robert who earned a smack from kathleen. He sat beside EJ who was still smiling from remembering how the hickey happened.
EJ and Kathleen's relationship got into the next stage in the past few months. They were sure about what they were doing. It had always been written in their gaze, the way they looked at each other, the chemistry that only the two of them can understand, to all others it doesn't make any sense, a seed of love that grew into a wild tree every single day, an invitation to learn about the other in the most possible way they could.
Right from the first day on campus for kathleen, even always with a crowd, EJ would spot her girl very easily that she stood apart to his eyes, hearts beating all the faster when she walks towards to talk to him. Then one day she was his, finally and as days went by, they got a chance for their bodies to communicate without the need for words. Yes they united physically.
He was her drug. He knew very well that once he kisses her neck all her resistance will crumble. No matter how angry she was, a kiss from him was enough to calm her down.
Then, after a very few delicate touches of his warm lips on hers she will start to lose her control. Then there would only be one desire, one wish, and they both knew it's just a matter of time before it all happens and it wasn't their first time?either.
The real seduction happened between them when kathleen opened up about her past and after that EJ never said a word to her but he knew that his damaged soul recognised his other half.
Kathleen and EJ decided to spend their evening together in EJ'S house as Sarah was out of town for a week and EJ convinced kathleen to come over as he didn't want to be alone for the weekend.
"What can we do now? Eat something?? Watch a movie together? Cooking? Or any board games if you wish to?", suggested EJ while Kathleen smiled at him as he was trying to make her comfortable, since it was their first time all alone in the big house.
"Come here, ethan", she pat the seat beside her indicating him to sit near her. She slouch back into the couch as he sit beside her.
"Have you ever wondered why I used to be such a bully?? Have you ever felt like asking me the reason behind it", she asked him for which he mouthed a no.
"Ethan, it is always a myth that the strong bully the weak. Bully are those who cannot handle their stress with grace, who attack the gentle natured in order to prove that they aren't weak at all. I have attacked people because I never used to have self restraint, a trait often only seen in adults was missing within myself as no one ever taught me something like that. Not even my mother or father", she stammered and EJ listened to her very carefully.
"I was mature beyond my years, although my heart and my mind was still a child. Those I bullied are often the "too much" children; they are too clever, too pretty, too kind that I never liked about them. But they were just my lame excuses to justify what I did to them.
No person can tell me who or what I was, how should I build myself with my own choices, no one never bothered about me, not even my parents. While all the other kids had great parents to look after them and their needs. With every choice to be unkind, I built myself to be unkind, I never liked the way the world was filled with love. I was different. That was good.
With every choice to be worst, I changed myself to the most worst version of myself as each days passed on ever since 5th grade. Every other students in school I knew had the coolest parents.
That made them a target now, as I never had a good mother nor a father who would listen to me in a lifetime. My mother used to beat me up for no reason at all. She never liked me and I never knew why.
Through sadness I learn empathy, to know how it feels to be alone with no one to talk to about what's happening in your life. And I used the pain to transform me to a stronger person every single day, and her thrashing were no more painful as days passed on. I was getting stronger day by day. No more tears, no more crying all night in pain", she faked a smile at his direction while EJ blinked at her, not able to process what she said.
She continued, "stress in today's society is passed up to the elders who take responsibility. Likewise my mother who couldn't handle a lot of work stress in this dysfunctional society passed down the stress to the most vulnerable one in the family, which happens to be me,
thus, I began to see and repeat this pattern of bullying as a method of stress relief. I could say that my mother was the primary cause for my transformation.
Nobody tried to fix this bullying nature of and nor even my dad realised that this is the cause for the change in my attitude which in turn made the changes to my world that didn't bother my mother and father.
Later as days moved on, I realized that bullying is a symptom of stress that brain was not mature enough to disperse it in a healthy way. So thus I decided to treat the cause - the stress - rather than keep on endlessly bullying the innocent ones.
I decided to change myself for good but my mother wasn't ready at all. She continued to beat me whenever she was stressed out due to work, she hated me, she cursed me and I got used to it. We humans are almammal that learns best from role modelling they observe, they practice, they imitate and they master what they see. Thus how the adults around us deal with stress as (the cause of bullying) will have the greatest impact on how their youth and children deal with it. My mother continued to thrash me and i continued to bully people at school as I didn't have someone to preach me or teach me about it.
My dad was never at home right from my preschool times. It was only my witch mother and me ever since I was 5 years old. She was depressed and stressed out all the time and I never knew why. Depression has a floor, a rock bottom, and my mother was depressed for so many years. My dad rarely visits home and he never bothered to ask her about it. But he is a good man by heart.
When she hit the rock bottom of depression, she feels that she should stay down and low for a few days and she would drink up the whole night, she wouldn't find a reason to get up. Anyways as such times she wouldn't beat me up so I won't bother to wake her up", kathleen mumbled. She let out a heavy breath.
"Perhaps growing up as a troubled kid was tough but having a depressed and abusive mother who beats you up for no reason and a dad who visits you once in a year is the toughest part of life. Trust me. It's hard to survive.
Then talking about my friends, it's like I never had one to rely upon. Tell me who would like to friends with a bully like me. So I never made proper friends till my high school. I used to be friends with the other bully boys and girls, but they would leave me alone when problems arise.
At the time it feels as if you have no strength, yet after days uncounted of all this hurt, pain and blood, I was truly stronger than those who still pretend to wear the mask of strongest. I never really had the hope that my life would change but one fine day it did.
My mother used to thrash me, beat me up too often when I was young and I never spoke about it to my dad nor even to my teachers. Instead I became a bully, as days went by, she reduced her habit of thrashing me for no reason. Growing up, I got used to it and I knew that she is not going to change anyways.
Yet since then we are both weren't in talking terms, but we had to see each other we were living in the same house. I felt like the road to hell is comfort and is lashings of pain. I still remember the day they turned my life upside down.
During the high school times, I bullied a young girl who happens to the daughter of my mother's colleague. She brought the matter to my mother's knowledge and my mother rushed to home to teach me with a lesson. She pummeled with the things she got in hand, she was spiked with anger, she was out of control that day. She broke my arm that day.
I still pulled myself to standing, I always have, yet tears come out of eyes in such generous streams as I long for a hand to reach down as I couldn't bear the physical and emotional pain that I was going through.
My dad entered the house to find me lying on the floor and anger rushed in him, she pushed my mother out of the house warning her that she should never step into our house thereafter.
I felt a little bad about it, and the next day, my father tried to make a proper father daughter conversation and it brought me up to this university. My father felt terrible for letting me suffer so much pain all these years. And a part of him was angry on me for not telling him anything about it all these years.
There were nights I used lay in my bed listening to the sound of thumping heart. My mother would shout and scream my name for hiding out in my room, my father who visits our house once in a blue moon never knew about my pain, my cries and the screaming that haunt my dreams. I cried and cried, but no one would show up to save the child and I used to push my face into the big bunny toy bear my father gifted me when I? was three year old.
I would think to myself how happy it would be if my mother left and I would led a peaceful life after her she leaves our house, I have sometimes thought of fleeing the violence but never knew how. Then one day she did leave finally and I remained myself that it was the right time for me to change to a better person than I used to be in my past.
Maybe I will be the one who was about to get a new life after she left first. I thought maybe I will be the one to find a little piece of true happiness in the university, the one who will find be the kind of a love that can light up the world. I totally wanted to be different person than I used to be in my past.
Finding a love wasn't?a part of my plan then you happened, such as I never thought that someone so good as you would love someone like me, I thought so because I'm a weirdo freak who wanted to never the knew the meaning of humanity, but I have always wished for love if it was possible.
So it was you who decided to walk along with me and protect me from my own past. You're the only one who dared to show me that I deserved a happy life.. I love you for it. I always will", she said gently and placed a small soft kiss on his lips.
Kathleen was a victim of domestic abuse. And EJ was shocked to know that kathleen has gone through so much in her life that he had no idea about.
"You never said anything? But why?", he spoke in a feeble way.
"Because I don t want to look behind. I'm not the same person I used to be and I don't want others to judge me based on my past", she mumbled. She lean onto his shoulder and inhale his cologne. That soothing aroma of his cologne was as comforting as that of the warm summer nights, those times when she felt as if she were in her cocoon, awaiting for warmth that protects her petite body.
The rest of their evening was all a divine dance toward the release of sweet passions between each other, the kind that would weave their destinies together. From the warm tones of his cologne, to those of his voice and his well chosen words, he was so easy for her to fall in love with him.
She was his drug. One touch from her and her intoxication was instant to him. That's when EJ decided that whatever he wanted to do is what he'll do to make kathleen fall in love with him just as like she made him fall on the very first day and there isn't a thing he can do to stop him from falling not that he would want to.
Just her scent was enough to send him into a heady trance, one that doesn't end until their bodies are still close more than enough to warm and snuggled in as close as two souls can be. He always loved their close proximity.
"Kathy, why do you love me? And why wasn't it Robert? Since he treated you better than I did?!", EJ asked her snuggling closer.
"Because your love was so whole, enough for me to find my missing pieces. And every touch of yours carries such passion, that hides my scar and makes my heart soft and vulnerable once more.
You are steady and patient, you don't remind me of my open wounds but heal seal them and make them vanish altogether. Perhaps that is why people say love is such magic and a gift from the universe and you are my sweet addiction. I always believe that when it feels hardest to give love, it is the most important moment to give without measure", she kissed him again.
"Come on let's dance", he tried to cheer her up. He played 'love me like you do', by ellie Goulding!
**********
You're the light, you're the night
You're the color of my blood
You're the cure, you're the pain
You're the only thing I wanna touch
Never knew that it could mean so much, so much
You're the fear, I don't care
'Cause I've never been so high
Follow me through the dark
Let me take you past our satellites
You can see the world you brought to life, to life
So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do
What are you waiting for?
Fading in, fading out
On the edge of paradise
Every inch of your skin, is a Holy Grail I've gotta find
Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire
Yeah, I'll let you set the pace
'Cause I'm not thinking straight
My head's spinning around, I can't see clear no more
Oh, what are you waiting for?
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do, oh
What are you, what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?*******
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Hope readers you came to know about Kathleen's past and with the next few chapters this story comes to an end, the end wouldn't be that different from any other stories.