THIRTY

Over the days I had learned much about the three survivors.

Carmen, the pale faced woman with dirty blonde hair who I originally hadn't taken much notice of did most of the talking. Whilst Pollux, the limber, catlike man lingered ever close, always watching. He made me uncomfortable, it was the look in his eyes, always like he was about to pounce. I could never relax around him.

Theos had offered them separate rooms but they insisted on staying together despite the constant arguments between the two adults, though nothing physical ever occurred. Even now the child still cowered behind the frail woman, always staring at me with those wide and haunting lilac eyes.

Her name was Dalia, they said.
She was completely mute, that much I had gathered.
They said she wasn't always like this, silent and afraid.
She didn't always look like that either.. with her ghostly blonde hair and glowing skin.

They made her that way.

She was a clone, a genetically engineered mutation.

A clone.. Of me.

Carmen said that my sister and I along with one other, a Luna named Amora, were the only ones to express the gene for immunity to the Alpha poison they had been working on, by using samples of our DNA they were able to reverse engineer a vaccine.. but also a strain that even we wouldn't be immune to.

My mind was thrown back into darkness, it was all I could see, all I could taste. All I could touch. The inky blackness that crawled down my throat and suffocated me, leaving my clawing at mr throat.

That's why they had blinded me. Another strain of the vaccine, another layer of weakness. Who knows what other side effects may have reared their ugly heads if Astoria hadn't cured me, maybe that was why the price was so high.

Though after all there was never really a price to pay, once Theos' teeth buried in my flesh a whole new mate bond was created, regardless of the old one. Sometimes, though I hated to admit it, I did wonder who my original intended mate was... what was he like? Would I ever meet him? If I did, would I know it was him?

Part of me hoped I would never meet him, for fear of greed ruining what I already had, as fragile as it was.

Even now I wasn't really sure what it was, and I tried not to think about what exactly it was too much. I just tried to let things happen as organically as possible.

Carmen rocked the child that slept curled into a ball in her arms in the old wooden chair before the mantle. Flames the colour of molten honey climbed to lick at the hearth, and danced among the ash. "So do you really not remember Pollux and I at all?"

Shaking my head I stared into the flames, "I don't remember much of anything from back then."

Theos' cabin was far larger than Astorias, my fingers stroked the thick brown pelt the lined the floor beneath me, Theos had said that it was tradition that every Alpha would be initiated into the role by fighting a bear. If they managed to kill the bear, they would take over possession of the pack. If they couldn't kill the bear, well then.. The bear would kill them. There was no backing out, he said. An alpha had to be proven worthy. They had to be strong, and so did their Luna.

Thats why Mare would've been perfect, I couldn't help but think, she had always been strong willed, stubborn beyond belief, and ready to fight tooth and claw for what she believed in, at least... that was how I remembered her.

"Its not your fault you don't remember," She said slowly, "I would forget it all in a heartbeat if I could... Besides they used to make us forget most of it."

I furrowed by brow, watching as the pale haired child shifted in her sleep. "Make us?" I echoed, turning back to the fire my eyes settled on the humungous skull that settled upon the mantle, that of the bear Theos had slain for his initiation, from here its sharp canines looked longer than my hand.

Carmen chuckled slightly, "Of course you wouldn't remember, silly me. They used to give us these little green pills to make us forget, so that they could reuse the same test subjects over and over again without bias."

Biting my lip I asked, "Then how come you remember?"

"Because Pollux and I would never actually take them," She smirked triumphantly, "You could just shove them under your tongue, and on the rare occasion that they would actually check properly, we just swallowed them and then shoved our fingers down our throats as soon as they left."

I wondered why I had never thought of that trick, maybe I had but they had caught me? I guess I would never know.

"Oh but you couldn't do that of course." Her lips pursed. "You were their prized possession, a genetic diamond.. they kept watch on you 24/7, you would never have gotten away with not taking your pills."

"How do you know all this?"

She smiled sadly, "We had adjoining cells. We were quite accustomed to each other's screams."

***


It felt wrong to lie in Theos' bed that night, engulfed in the throws that smelled like him, whilst he slept in his third in command Lotan's house.

My fingers curled around the thick pelt that surrounded me, cocooning me in its honeysuckle warmth. The smell of his cedar shampoo, and that hint of something that was so distinctly male... it was like a drug to me, making goosebumps rise on my arms, and the bite on me neck tingle.

Though it felt wrong, I was glad he had given us our space. Carmen and Dalia slept on the couches below, wrapped up with the heat from the dying embers to warm their aching bones. Pollux has refused to sleep, instead preferring to join the patrols, I guessed that after so long spent locked in a cage he was grateful for the space.

Though tonight I pitied him, the weather was harsh, and whilst the cabin Theos had built was sturdy and thick walled, the howls of the wind could still be heard over the patter of rain on the windows.

I sat awake in the large bed, despite the comfort feeling more alone than ever. I stared out through the floor to ceiling window that took up more of the opposite wall.

Was Astoria out there? Did she feel the chill?
Either way, I wondered where she was.

I clutched the blankets tighter to my chest as a bolt of light illuminated the room.
But with the flash, came something else.. something that was blinding white and wicked.

White gloves hands coiled around my wrists like snakes, constricting my movement and pinning me to the table.

My body shook with fear as I stared wide eyed out of the window at the flashing lights. Another flash.

My vision was reduced to a blinding white, a flash of never ending pain. I cried out. I tried to scream, but only the white got void filled my throat, thick and suffocating as I began to choke on my own screams.

I wanted to close my eyes, to lay back down. Close your eyes and go to sleep.

But I couldn't tear my eyes away from the horror show of memories that flooded my unconscious. I was frozen in place. Perhaps my fear, perhaps by something far more sinister.

A clap of thunder shook my bones, rattling my faith like stones in a glass, it began to crack.
Fragments of my resolve beginning to splinter and shatter, piece by piece.

Until all the stones came free, landing amongst the shards.

Neither could be salvaged without blood and pain.

A scarlet tear was the only salvation from the white nothingness, it crawled from my lip like a serpents tongue, flickering and forked as another droplet joined it.

Thick and warm it crawled down my throat. My entire body began to convulse under the shock of the current. I wasn't strong enough control my own limbs as they flailed against my restraints.

My heart thundered in time with a flash that lit up the grounds outside, so that I could see a figure stood just outside the tree line, staring back up at me as the rain stormed down upon them.

And in the second flash, they were gone. I blinked rapidly, rubbing my eyes only to realise I had been crying.

A thunderous bang shook the cabin, and I heard Dalia cry out from downstairs. The poor child was probably just as terrified as I was. Had they used electroshock therapy on her too?

I jolted away from the door in fear as it flew open. A soaking wet Theos stared at me with worried eyes, raindrops crawling down his face from his dark hair.

"Theos.. what-"

"I sensed your fear." He said through ragged breaths, his shirt clinging to his toned chest. "I would never have left you if I would've known.."

He ran a hand through his damp hair, "I'm so sorry."

I held the blankets to my chest, staring at him with wide, flustered eyes. "Don't be." I said breathily.

He moved to the closet, pulling out a pair of grey joggers. Then something struck me, "What do you mean you sensed my fear?"

He effortlessly pulled off his shirt, throwing it into the wash bin. I stared transfixed at his defined back, how each muscle moved as he did so. "It's a mate thing, strong emotions felt by one are picked up by the other." He rummaged in the draw.

I stared out the window bashfully as he took off his jeans. Strange how as soon as Theos arrived, I had completely forgotten about the storm outside.
"Oh." I mumbled, trying to keep my voice even.

I looked up as he pulled the grey joggers over a pair of grey boxers, and I could've died.
How was it even possible for him to look that good, even doing the simplest things.

I bit my lip as he walked towards the door, "Wait."

His peircing amber eyes seemed so sharp in the dim light, they almost seemed to glow. Something deep in my chest, the most primal part of me called out to him, and for once, I let it. "Stay."

He needed no other instructions, I shifted to allow him to climb in next to me. My face burned at the thought of his soft olive skin. I felt the bed dip.

His eyes never left mine. And for some strange reason that pleased the beast inside me more than anything.

"Thank you." I whispered and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.