Chapter 50

Jocelyn's heart dropped as she watched Caden walk away with Mallory. What had she done? But she would never hurt Mallory like that. Now, she knew what kind of person Caden really was. Since she hadn't returned his calls, he went out right away with Mallory. But that was who he had come back to Christmas Cove for, wasn't it? Jocelyn was so confused that she didn't even want to think about it anymore.
"Want to go get something to eat?" Kiki followed her gaze and saw Caden walking away with Mallory following behind.
"No, I'm going home." Jocelyn walked away, but Kiki was hot on her hells.
"Joss, go out to eat with me." Kiki almost ran into her when Jocelyn stopped abruptly.
"Please, don't call me that," Jocelyn instructed, remembering when Caden had called her that. It reminded her too much of him.
Kiki held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! I won't call you that anymore."
"I'll see you tomorrow." Jocelyn walked away, her eyes filling up with tears. She wanted- no needed- to get away before she lost it in front of Kiki. She hurried to her car, started the engine, and headed toward home. She just wanted to get away- to run- before she did something she'd regret.
How could she have been such an idiot as to think that she would ever have a chance with Caden? At that moment, she realized that he was never hers and he never would be. Tears fell down her cheeks as she pointed her car toward home.
Snow started falling lightly through the headlights as she drove, the cold reflecting her mood. Jocelyn was crying so hard that she almost didn't see the traffic light change to red, but she did and slammed on the brakes, skidding to a stop just as another motorist zoomed by. She sat in her car for a moment in the middle of the road, shaking. When the road was clear to go, she started off again. When she got home, she hurried to lock up the car and then ran toward the house. Once inside, she was about to start up the stairs, when she heard Caden's car pull to a stop and then the engine die. Jocelyn's heart fell. Caden with Mallory was the last thing she wanted to see.
A part of her wanted to run up the stairs and hide forever, but the other more sensible part wouldn't let her. Jocelyn stood frozen in the foyer when Mallory opened the door wide and stood on the porch with Caden. Mallory reached up to kiss him, but he turned her head down and kissed her forehead. Then he looked up and into Jocelyn's eyes, expressionless. He held her gaze and she was captive, unable to move, until he broke the spell of the moment and turned away without a word.
Jocelyn closed her eyes, knowing, somehow, that he was gone to her forever. She heard the door close. When she opened her eyes, Mallory was standing in the foyer, smiling.
"Caden and I are going to California together," Mallory announced as she slipped off her gloves.
"Good. I hope you'll be very happy together." Jocelyn turned and walked up the stairs, unable to listen to Mallory any longer. She sincerely wished her sister well, but didn't have to stand there to watch her gloat, either.
"Caden really is a great guy," Mallory continued to gloat. "I wonder what California will be like? I can't wait-."
When Jocelyn reached the top of the landing, she walked into her room and closed the door and locked it, unable to listen to her sister any more. She walked to the window and Caden was standing by his car, looking up to her window, as if waiting for her to appear. Their eyes met again, his eyes expressionless as if he were silently trying to tell her something. Was he saying goodbye in his own way? Then he opened his car door, slid in, and a moment later, it roared to life and the headlights came on. Jocelyn watched as he turned the wheel sharply and drove away, leaving her standing in the window, alone.
***
As Caden drove home, he realized that he was being an idiot. The snow fell through the headlights, making the road slick. But he didn't care. He didn't care much about anything anymore. Jocelyn was out of reach. And now, he had agreed to take her sister to California.
When he got home, luckily his parents were in bed. He had no desire to talk to anyone. His heart sank as he realized what a mess he had made of everything. He went into his room, closed the door, and took off his boots, knowing he had to make things right. But how he was going to do it, he had no idea.
After he dressed for bed, he climbed under the covers and tried to sleep. But try as he might, he couldn't. Finally, he sat up and looked over at the digital clock, glowing in the darkness. The only light in the room was the moonlight, streaming in through the window and the neon glowing light from the clock. Four o'clock. He sighed as he ran his hands through his dark brown hair.
Why did he ever agree to go to California with Mallory? Taking in Jocelyn's emotionless stare, Caden knew he could no longer stay in Christmas Cove. So, he had agreed to go with Mallory on the spur of the moment. What an idiot.
He had to talk to Mallory. For one thing, it wasn't fair to use Mallory like that. Even though he could now see her for who she was now, he owed her too much to use her like that. When he had agreed to go to California, he knew it would strictly be platonic and it had nothing to do with Jocelyn. He had grown too much and Mallory- well- frankly, she hadn't.
But at that moment, he realized that Jocelyn had taken his heart. He was so in love with her that he couldn't sleep. He couldn't function. He had to talk to her. And for better or worse, his heart would always be hers- and he had to tell her. For better or worse. Suddenly, an idea came to him. Caden laid in his bed smiling, having made his decision. He just hoped he wasn't too late.