Epilogue- Part Two
***Adonis***
I resisted the urge to smile as I studied her face the moment she closed her eyes. I let out a shuddering breath as my arms folded, I was slowly being pulled into some kind of trance, I needed to remind myself that I was not dreaming.
I needed to remind myself that I should be alert, waiting to hear her response, but I couldn’t help myself.
Apart from a few times when I managed to send one of the men to check up on her, I had no particular idea of what she looked like in person. Definitely, the pictures sent did no justice to how beautifully grown she was.
My head tilted as I observed her entire face. Her lips kept twitching as she delved into her thoughts. Her forehead wore some kind of frown and I realized once again how selfish it was of me to suddenly show up and ask her to choose from painful options. Options that make my heart ache as well.
But I have no choice. I had to do it that way. Hopefully, she chooses to…
“I have an answer,” I heard her blurt out, her soft voice interrupting my thoughts.
“Oh.” I composed myself, acting like I was not just staring at her. A side glance at the small table that stayed between us, I asked, “What decision have you made?”
I watched as her chest rose and fell as though something heavy just raced past it. “Adonis…”
This time, I wished I could close my eyes. I have certainly missed her calling my name.
“Yes, Ruby?” I was tempted to call her Peanut.
“I can’t say yes to getting back together, I’m sorry.”
My folded arms fell without me putting much thought into that action.
I don’t hate her decision, in fact, I wanted that to be her decision, it was for the best.
But, I never expected to feel so hurt by that response. I guess parting ways with her would even be worse.
“No matter how much I think about it,” Ruby continued, “even if you do your best to protect me, I can’t live a life where I have to keep checking for danger, threats, or any form of lurking death.” She scoffed as her lips wore a sad smile. I noticed how she kept playing with her fingers in a furious way.
“I understand, Ruby. I-”
“It sounds fun and adventurous- being with you. But, I don't have the strength to live such a life till the end.”
“It’s okay, Ruby. I know why you made that choice,” I tried to reassure her, hoping that it was working. At that point, she looked like she was still torn.
I was about to get up when her voice interrupted my action.
“But, I don’t like the idea of going our separate ways. I don’t want to live the rest of my life pretending that you and I didn’t happen. I don’t want to forget the time we spent together.”
I swallowed hard as her statement came to an end. “So…”
“Let’s not forget each other.” She sounded so confident.
I bit into my lower lip as my eyes searched for god-knows-what in the room. “So,” I had analyzed her simple statement in my head, “you want us to be friends. Just friends?”
She nodded. “I really can’t stay away from you that easily.”
“How do you expect that to work? I am still in love with you. If we stay as friends, there’s a high chance that feelings will be greatly reignited and I don’t think that would be good for you.” My head danced with seriousness as I talked. “You know how determined I can be when I really want something.”
I did not miss the smirk on her face.
“What? Why do you have that smile on your face?” I asked suspiciously. She must be plotting something.
Ruby shrugged and folded her arms. “I just think that no one knows what the future might say.”
I sighed as it occurred to me that she was hoping for a chance for both of us in the nearest future, if the universe permits. Besides, some things happen at the wrong time.
And, when I think about how our relationship started, something did feel wrong somewhere. Perhaps it was the never-ending drama and danger.
“So,” I locked eyes with her, “are you okay with being just friends?”
I didn’t miss the sad look in her eyes. She must be more hurt than I was about the whole thing. But her lips lied so well as she replied, “Yes, I am.”
My shoulder slumped as I heaved another deep sigh. “In that case,” my palms rubbed against each other as my buttocks remained on the seat halfway, “how about we engage the pause button.”
”Pause?”
”Let’s pause our conversation, pretend we are yet to become friends, and let’s be in a relationship for about thirty minutes. What do you say?”
I love how that brought a smile to her lips. Eagerly, she nodded and I got up.
Once in front of her, I stretched my right hand and she readily reached for it.
As she gracefully got up, I said, “I want us to celebrate your birthday together.”
She chuckled. “But my birthday was three weeks ago.”
“Well, you didn’t get to celebrate it with me.”
“That’s because I didn’t know that you were alive. And, my hopeful self was beginning to lose all form of hope.”
I didn’t reply her. Instead, I hastened our walk to the next room where a table had been set up- a table filled with dishes that made the room smell pleasant.
As soon as the door was closed behind us, I walked her to the table, my eyes occasionally taking a look at her. I was going to make sure she enjoys every bit of this thirty-minute dating.
As I pulled her chair and watched her sit, I said, “This also doubles as a date.”
“Oh, there’s a lot of food here.”
”Why? Are you not hungry?” I asked as I noticed the small frown on her face.
“I am. But I am craving something else. Something that can soothe my heart.”
“Chocolate cake?”
Her eyes wore a bright look instantly. “Do you have it?”
I nodded.
I had a feeling that she would prefer it while the meal was being prepared.
“Would you like some wine too?”
”Of course! I am not a child anymore, I can take alcoholic wines now.”
”It is actually fruit wine we presently have.”
“Oh. I guess that’s fine.”
I nodded, satisfied that things are yet to go south. “Can you help me move these dishes to the table over there?” I nudged my head in the direction of the table which was the only thing that was occupying the well-lighted room apart from us.
“Sure.” Ruby got up and began to move the covered dishes with me. “I feel terrible, all of this was made for me.”
”It’s fine. There are a lot of mouths to feed in this house.”
After a few seconds of silence, she asked, “How did it happen?” I dropped the plate in my hand onto the table and faced her. “How did you become the gang leader? I thought you already walked away from the gang.”
I sighed. The moment had come. I thought she would ask the question sooner. “How I became Xylem’s leader is related to how I survived the building's collapse.”
“Huh?”
”We should sit down if we’ll be talking about it.”
Ruby erased the look of seriousness on her face and nodded. “Let’s finish clearing the table.”
When that activity was done, we were seated at the table, Ruby already digging into her cake.
“I almost died that day.” The fork in her hand was dropped onto the plate. “I had no hope of survival as I was trapped with nowhere to go. That was when Maximus’s father entered the picture.”
”Wait, wasn’t he dead?”
I shook my head. “He wasn’t dead as everyone believed. Apparently feigning their deaths before leaving the throne to their descendant was a thing in their family. So, yes it was Maximus’s father who saved me. I should be grateful, well, I am.
I am grateful that he saved me, but he did it because his son had died. Unfortunately, he lost one before Maximus, so the fact that he had lost all his sons wrecked him. That’s why he saved me.”
”Because you are like a son to him?” Ruby asked.
I shook my head. “Because I was a perfect replacement. He might still be mourning his son’s death but he never entertained the thought of leaving the throne without a ruler. That’s why he picked me. And that’s why I hate him sometimes. He ruined my chance to live a proper life.
But then, would I be alive if he hadn’t intervened and gotten me out of the clasp of death? That’s why I am grateful to him. Because he saved me, I can look into your eyes as I’m doing right now and…” I reached for her hands. “… I can hold you like this.”
“Adonis…”
”I am so sorry for not coming back to you earlier. I am not supposed to make excuses, but Maximus’s father is the kind of man that would not hesitate to get rid of any distraction that surrounds the man he put on the Xylem gang’s throne. That’s why I couldn’t come to you, that’s why I kept you waiting.”
“Adonis, I think I have been unfair.”
“Huh?”
She gripped my fingers a bit tighter, with desperation. “You must have been so lonely all these years.”
”Well-”
”Me choosing not to get together means you might get even lonelier and-”
”But, I will have you as a friend.” There is a strong need to make sure she doesn’t go back on her decision. It is the best choice she can make for her and in the long run, both of us.
“Will you be okay with that?” she asked with a frown of concern on her face.
“It’s like you said, it will be terrible if I choose to act like I never met you.”
“You won’t be lonely?”
I smiled, moved by her words and emotions. “I am not a baby, Ruby. Stop treating me like one.”
”B-but you are my baby,” she blurted, a small pout on her lips after.
I let out a scoff as her words caused a stir inside me. As I looked into her eyes, I sensed that she was probably feeling the same way.
Ruby’s eyes dropped to the side. “Uh, I…”
“Ruby?” I called her as I slightly raised my body off the chair. As she looked up, answering with a hum, I did what I have been yearning to do.
The kiss was a deep one. It was especially slow and careful.
I cupped her face as we both kicked our seats in some direction. We managed to walk past the hurdle the table created and soon, her arms were wrapped around my neck.
With my heart racing, I enjoyed the moment even if it made me sad. I caressed the length of her hair as I explored her lips and as she did the same to mine.
About two minutes passed and I wasn’t willing to let go. I wanted to feel more of her. I wanted to lay her down on the bed and feel her warmth. We’ll just lay side by side and that would be enough for me.
But I shouldn’t be greedy. I should begin to learn to let her go. And I shouldn’t depend on the fact that we will still be friends. I should do all I can to make sure that while I’m still with the gang, I am not romantically involved with her. Even as friends, I’ll have to apologize in advance, to keep her safe, I will hardly be there as a friend.
So, I ended the kiss. Her eyes read sadness as she opened them.
Still running my fingers through her hair, I said, “Our date will soon be over.”
“I doubt ten minutes have passed,” she replied with a low voice and wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me tighter.
“Should we dig into the cake then?” I suggested and she surprisingly shook her head.
“I just want to hold you till the pause is over.”
”But-”
”Please,” she begged. “I have waited so long for this moment.”
I had no choice. It’s not like I hated the idea anyway.
So, we stood there in silence, hugging each other like the end of the world was nigh.
We didn’t realize time pass by, our thirty-minute date had some extra time added and we didn’t realize that until someone knocked on the door.
Our hug now dissolved, the friend timer had been set.
Ruby pocketed her hands as she said, “I guess this is it.”
“I won’t stop thinking about you, Ruby," i found myself blurting part of the emotions inside me.
She smiled. “I never stopped thinking about you, Adonis, and I will continue to do so.”
My heart felt heavy as I saw the signs that suggested that she was about to cry. I was about to move closer and hug her again when the knock repeated itself, reminding me of some meeting.
Ruby managed another smile. “I guess you are a busy man. I should get going.”
”Goodbye, Ruby.” God! I sounded so sad, you’d think we are actually never going to see each other again. Heaven knows, with the way I am feeling as I watch her footsteps slowly move towards the exit, I won’t be taking my eyes off her anytime soon.
“Don’t say goodbye, Adonis. We’ll be seeing soon.”
“We will, won’t we?” That question was more for me than her.
“Yes, we will. So, stay healthy, okay?”
I nodded, my mind a bit composed as I waved back at her. For a second back there, I was tempted to call her back. I sensed that she wished to take back her response also.
But as I thought about how things have led us up to that point, it became clearer that what we have shouldn’t be forced to happen. We shouldn’t be together if the disadvantages are too much.
So, I should let things play out themselves. If we end up together at the end, that will be blissful.
If we don’t… well, it will hurt, but I will always have the memory of the time we spent together, and sincerely, that is kind of enough to soothe my aches.
I hope Ruby thinks that way as well.
I hope she never forgets the good times we had and I hope she finds joy and peace in them like I do when my dark days come knocking.
And, perhaps, one day we'll sit together and talk about those times. We may or may not be a couple by then, but we'll make sure to have a good laugh and a good time.
I smiled to myself as the picture stayed in my head.
It was indeed a sight that pleased and soothed my soul. Just like how Ruby makes me feel.
And possibly, how she'll continue to make me feel.
~~
THE END