Chapter X

I arrived back home at 20:30 after spending the day with Nadine. I do not know many people in this tiny village. Nadine is my only friend here. Even so I do not feel alone. I did not come here to make friends. I came here to get some answers, to convince myself that it was all true. That lawyer was right. My aunt did left me her estate. I still do not know why my mother never said anything about her. Maybe she had no idea she had a sister or she knew and did not want me to know about her. If this is the case I want to know why. Why did she not tell me she had a sister? Was she afraid of something? I fell so sad that I cannot ask her this myself. My mother died a long time ago. I was only 17 then. I still remember that horrible day when I came back from school and I found a police officer at home. My mother had died in a car crash. They said she fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a tree. She was already dead when the ambulance arrived at the scene, they could not do anything for her except pronounce her dead. She was only 36 years old. My father felt responsible for her death and started drinking. The night before the accident they fought and my mother left the house. I could not stand him anymore. I could not wait to graduate from high-school and get out of there. I wanted to leave town so bad. That house was full of memories good and bad. I later found out when I returned home during the spring brake that my father had sold the house and moved into an apartment. I never went looking for him. I had his address but did not want to see him. In return he never came looking for me. I did not even receive one phone call from him. He forgot about me. This I kept telling myself. Of course it is silly. How can you forget you have a child?
I moved to New York. At first it was really hard. Me, a young girl from a small town moving into a big city and trying to make it on my own. I started to paint. I always liked to paint and I was good at it. I sold my paintings online. One of them entitled Serenity sold for 10.000 dollars. I could not believe it myself. Julia was the one that bought it. She offered to exhibit my future paintings at her art gallery. We became best friends. I sold my paintings only at her gallery. I do not remember how many. I only painted sceneries but a few years ago I started doing portraits too.

I went up to my room and stayed there. I did not really want to see Ademar, not after last night. I should not have kissed him. But damn, I liked it and he kissed me back.
I think he likes me. Deep down I feel sorry for him. He is a prisoner in this castle. I do not think he goes out at night. He must have spent many lonely nights inside these stone walls after my aunt died. I wonder if there was something between them. Only he can tell me. He must know why she never came looking for me. I find it strange that there is not one picture of my aunt in the castle. Did he take them? How many women did he love and lost during all this time? Am I next? I cannot love him. He is everlasting and I am just a human being. I will grow old and die and he will still be here. Still young and handsome like the day I met him. When you lose the one you love all that remains are the memories. Memories never fade away. Elyse must be just a memory for him, just like Blanche. I am going to be just a memory for him too. Time flies by in a heartbeat. But not for Ademar. Time stopped for him.
No, no, I should not love him but I cannot stop him from loving me.
What am I doing? I came here for answers not to find love.
When he looks at me with those eyes I cannot look away. They are so mesmerizing. I can do anything for him if he asks me to! When I kissed him I felt like I tasted his soul. When I touched him I felt like I touched darkness.
I have never been afraid of the dark. Not even as a child. Darkness is like an undiscovered mystery to me. You never know what hides in the dark unless you explore it. The night is my favourite time of the day. The sky is so beautiful when the stars come out and there is a full moon. I painted some of my best paintings at night.
I wonder why he calls me his angel. What does he see? Some kind of light.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not even hear when Ademar knocked at my door. He came in and found me resting on the bed. I got up and walked towards him.
"I knocked twice but you did not answer. Were you sleeping? I am sorry for disturbing you."
"No, I was just resting. I walked all day and my feet hurt."
This was not a lie. My feet did really hurt.
"I wanted to talk to you but it can wait."
"I have some questions for you too if you do not mind."
He looked at me again with those piercing blue eyes and I smiled at him.
"Did you have fun?"
"Oh, yes. I explored the village with Nadine."
"You made a friend here."
"She is a nice girl. I like her and she speaks English very good just like you."