The Revelation #5

The room went quiet. Maria had joined them, the second she was in Joe’s arms on the mini couch she was out like a light. Ash had moved to stand where the TV used to be, still staring at Lee, worried.
Ann had walked into the room quietly, and sat next to Lee. She remembered what Ash’s girlfriend or not girlfriend, whatever the relationship, said to her. She thought she’d take a shot and ask him.
“Ash, do you know anything about my family being slaughtered?” His face went pale. Joe and Billy looked at each other. Their expression shocked and it wasn’t because the question was outrageous, there was something else to it.
“Where did you hear that?” Ash’s voice was unsteady, he had that look, the one that always came when he didn’t want to answer her question or he was about to lie. He had just answered one important question though; he knew what happened to her family.
She had danced this dance before, knowing very well she wouldn’t get any information from him. She let it go. “Your girlfriend mentioned it when she threatened me.”
“She is not my girlfriend.” The bitterness in his voice made Lee happy, but the fact was, whether or not he liked her, she was obsessed with him. But Lee had made her bed when she gave him the ultimatum. She wasn’t going to back out of it.
“It doesn’t matter.” She shrugged off his reaction.
“Yes it does.”
“It will only matter, when you tell me the truth.” She looked up at him. He lowered his head, his eyes to the floor. That was the end of that conversation. She turned to Ann. “You guys are going with your boyfriends for the weekend. You need to rest.”
“We are not leaving you alone.” Ann moved closer to her.
“I won’t be alone, Ash will be here. I have a feeling his girlfriend will be back.” His fist clenched at his side. “Who better to greet her than the center of her universe?” A growl escaped him, it startled Ann, but Lee had heard it before, even some much worse.
For once she appreciated his anger, as long as it kept his lunatic girlfriend away from her.
Joe carried Maria to the car, Lee was relieved she didn’t wake up, it wouldn’t be as easy to convince her to leave as it was Ann. Lee wasn’t looking forward to being alone with Ash, she had to admit she was nervous about it, after their last fight she wasn’t sure where they stood.

****

Ash stared at her, his arms itching to hold her. He saw how hard she was fighting sleep. Whatever her nightmares were, she was scared to face them. He tried to read her mind to see exactly what tormented her but she’d kept it blank thinking about everything else except that. Then her mind roamed to him and Sabrina, and then she thought of herself and how she didn’t fit in that equation comparing herself to Sabrina. Ash felt heated. He wanted to kill Sabrina for what she had done to Lee; turning her into the frightened little girl she was all those years ago.
“Lee, you need to sleep.” Ash moved to sit much closer to her but he kept his hands folded on his lap. She could see the restraint it took not to touch her, if he only knew how much she wanted to be in his arms.
“Not now. I want to be too exhausted to dream before I dare close my eyes.” She leaned her head back on the couch, fighting the sleep that was taking over.
“Lee, what do you see in your nightmares?” His voice was flat, but she could tell there was a hint of something odd in it.
“You already know too much about me, I’m keeping this to myself.” Her tone was harsher than she had intended it to be. He shifted and moved an inch further from her. She didn’t want him to think that she was shutting him out as some sort of vengeance. With a lighter tone, she tried to keep the conversation going, “And anyway, if a shrink couldn’t decipher it, what makes you think you can?”
“I just want to try and help. I don’t like it when you’re hurting, even if it’s your own mind doing it.” He sounded tortured, he leaned closer to her, his eyes searching hers in earnest. “I want to protect you, even if I’m going against you or your mind.” He took her hand and held it in his big warm hand, completely hiding it.
She held his gaze, she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. She hadn’t told Steve about her nightmares, but she did tell him about how her family died and he had used it against her numerous times and she wasn’t ready for that kind of torment again. But his eyes, his sweet soft brown hypnotic eyes, she felt consciously recognizably safe looking into them.
“They started the day my family was killed.” She swallowed hard. Suddenly she wasn’t sure about what she was about to do. He squeezed her hand, out of comfort and support; it gave her a nudge to go ahead.
“Everyone keeps telling me that they died in the fire, but I remember it differently, well at least in my nightmares.” His jaw tightened, he was gritting his teeth. Lee found his reaction strange but she kept on.
“I was asleep in the car when I heard my mom screaming, then she was quiet again. I thought Jayson had done something wrong, so I lay back down in the back seat and waited for my dad to come carry me in. I was a stubborn kid, got worse when Alice was born. She’d taken my place as the favorite last-born child, so my dad was very complacent in giving me what I wanted. It made my mom so furious, but my dad never stopped. He always said I was as stubborn as my mom. So when I had a diva moment, he would always bow and say, ‘as you wish mini-mar’.”
She smiled to herself. The memory was still so fresh in her mind. She’d fought hard to keep them—they were all she had of her family. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the emotions welling up inside her.
“What’s mini-mar?” he asked his tone lighter.
“It means miniature Martha.” Remembering her mom’s name hurt her more than she thought it would. “Martha was my mom’s name. I was so much like her, looks and character wise, that’s where the nickname came from,” it came out as a whisper. She took a deep breath and pulled out of the cold hole she had sunk in. “I’m getting sidetracked.” She gave him a weak smile.
“That’s okay. I also want to hear about your happy memories, when they don’t hurt you as much.” He reached up and gently rubbed her cheek, trailing his fingers to the corner of her lips.
“As I was saying…” trying to lighten the sorrow that was weighing heavily in her voice, “…I stayed in the car, then I heard my dad shout, he was pleading. I couldn’t hear the words, but his voice… I remember it scared me.” The sorrow was back in her voice. “So I got out of the car and went to the door.” She was reliving every moment as she spoke, trying to describe as much as she could. “I pushed the big door open and walked in slowly. Dad stood in front of someone—I’d never seen the guy before. Then I saw the living room, it was red all over, and it was as if someone had splashed red paint all over the walls, the floor, and the furniture.”
The lump in her throat was getting bigger, but she was glad she didn’t hesitate on the word red like she usually did. “I said something, but I can’t remember what, my memory is a bit squishy from there. But I do remember running, I was so scared, all I knew is that I had to run and get out of there as fast as I could.”