The Revelation #6

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, she struggled to hold back the sobs, breaking down again wasn’t going to help her, and the only thing it had got her was a shrink for thirteen years.
“The nightmares were at bay, hadn’t had one for weeks, then when your friend said what she did…they’ve been haunting me every night since.” She fisted her hands at her sides, and took deep breaths. She couldn’t afford to fall apart in front of him.
Ash looked at her, glad he had managed to block out the memory of her father dying. He wasn’t sure her little mind could take it but if he hadn’t she would have been far worse. He just wished the block on the rest of the night had held. He could always try again? But what was the point; her memories seem to be coming back worse off as nightmares.
“Lee, I’m so sorry.” His face was full of grief and pity. His arms reached out for her but she stopped them. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn’t take that look in his eyes anymore.
“No, please don’t. I’m trying to keep it together, and I’m in jeopardy of losing it if you hold me. And if you keep looking at me like that…” She wiped her cheeks dry, her eyes still tightly shut. “…I’m going to go to pieces.”
If it weren’t for his heavy breathing, she would have thought he’d left her on the seat alone.
“I think the guys finished all the food you made. Does steak sound good? I promise there won’t be anything with a strong scent on your plate. We don’t want a repeat of last time.” There was a laugh at the edge of his voice. Lee was glad the pity was gone, and he’d changed the subject without a fuss.
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “It sounds perfect, and I no longer spend my mornings with my head over the toilet.”
“Does that mean if I cooked eggs, you’d be fine?” His perfect face was close, challenging her. She could see a dare coming next.
Pushing him as he stood, she said, “Let’s not test my endurance just yet.”
It seemed so long ago since they laughed and played like this. “Don’t burn it, if you do, I’ll have a real reason to throw up.”
“What will it be, ma’am, well done, done, medium rare, or rare?” He held his arm up like a waiter. She was about to answer before she started to seriously think about it. Lately, the smell of blood seemed to rouse her, she used to find it appalling.
“Medium rare.”
He was shocked, she shocked herself too when the words came out of her mouth.
His brow creased. He didn’t move. “Are you sure? I thought you hated the smell of blood, let alone the sight of it.”
She nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Okay.” He turned and walked to the kitchen, he still doubted her choice, but she was sure. She was getting hungrier, more aroused as she thought about it. She shook her head and laughed, as if she wasn’t weird enough!
“What’s so funny?” Ash called out from the kitchen.
“Nothing, I’m just happy.”
“That’s wonderful. Your happiness means a lot to me.” His voice was softer.
He was in a good mood, she was tempted to ask him about the diner, but she didn’t want to spoil the moment. She fidgeted on the couch; the questions were itching to shoot out of her mouth.
*Maybe just one*
“Ash?” She kept quiet and waited for him to respond. *Lee, just shut up. You are going to ruin everything, again.*
“Hmm?” There it was the open door. She was going to regret this.
“Are you ever going to tell me about what happened?” She closed her eyes and waited; it was too late to take it back.
“Tell you about what—” He stopped. The cheer in his voice gone, he’d realized what she was asking.
“I just want to know everything about you, know you, like you know me.”
“Why is it so important to you? Isn’t my loving you enough?” His voice was cold and harsh.
“You know the person you love, inside and out. I love someone who doesn’t trust me enough to let me love him completely. So yes, it is important to me.” She held her breath, expecting his usual reaction.
After a lengthy silence he responded, his voice softer, but strained, “Okay. I’ll tell you.” Lee let the breath out. “Only when the time is right. Maybe after next week, you have enough tormenting you and with your finals around the corner. It would be cruel to add on to it.” It came out like a whisper, his voice even more strained.
She was about to ask him what he meant by that, but she’d pushed him far enough. She rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen. He looked frozen over the stove, his head low and his shoulders collapsed in defeat. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging his back.
“I’ll wait. Thank you.” She held him tighter. “By the way, I love you too, and I’m sorry about pushing you all the time. I just…I just need to know.”
He traced his fingers over her arms. It left a shiver behind. Her heart fluttered. She’d missed that. “I understand. I just hope you’ll still love me once you know.” He sounded like he was dreading it. It made her uncomfortable.
“Trust me as long as you keep loving me as annoying as I can be sometimes, and you keep driving me crazy with your touch, I’m all yours.”
He chuckled, but the dread was still there. “Promise?”
“Promise, just don’t burn my meat.” He laughed louder this time.
“Yes, ma’am.”