No such woman existed

Julian

My head fell into my hands and slipped. Banging off the desk. I was tired but more emotionally than physically. Which was strange to me. I didn’t usually let emotions get to me but it felt like I had lost something and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

Megan maybe?

I had thought she was the one who had saved me the night of my wedding to Cassie but now I wasn’t so sure.

That wasn’t even true. I was certain she wasn’t. If she had been she wouldn’t have said what she had said about me. It wasn’t even her words that stung, it was the tone in which she had said them.

She had almost been dismissive. Like I was someone to be laughed at and mocked and not her future king.

Which meant the woman I had made love to that night was still out there somewhere and it had been making love.

I had never felt a connection like it before and now I doubted I ever would again.

Not with Megan because she wasn’t the one. I knew that now and not with my wife either. Cassie was just Cassie. Attractive but not the woman her friends said she was.

Or at least I had never seen the nice kind giving side of Cassie. If it existed at all I had never seen it.

I never would either. I wanted free of her.

She drove me crazy and there was no way I wanted to spend the rest of my life dreading going home because she was there.

And then there was the fact that her father was a money grabbing scoundrel. Did I really want a woman from a family like that ruling at my side?

No!

No I didn’t. I needed a queen who was quiet and submissive, not some prickly career woman.

“Alpha?” There was a sharp rap of knuckles on the door and it opened enough for Ian to pop his head inside. His eyes swept over me and a tiny but deep line appeared between his eyebrows. And I knew why. I hadn’t been to sleep yet, let alone gone home and changed my clothes. My shirt was creased and there was stubble on my jaw.

“Hey.” I couldn’t even pretend to have energy. Throwing up a hand I silenced the question that I could see forming on his lips. “Don’t even ask.”

Ian’s eyebrows shot up. “So I shouldn’t tell you that Cassie went to see her father last night and came out crying? But you would know that if you went home? Are you still in the clothes you wore to the party last night?”

Rolling my eyes I pushed myself to my feet. “I said don’t ask.” I reprimanded. “Is she here?”

“Megan? Yeah?” Ian’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t ask the questions I could see forming in his eyes. “I was just about to tell you. I didn’t realise that you were still seeing her?” He lowered his voice. “Forgive me alpha but what is it about her? You seem to be bending over backwards to do things for her. Is she important? Other then the fact you think she saved your life.”

“You don’t think she’s attractive?” I asked cocking my head to the side.

He chewed on his lip. Pondering my words or maybe pondering how he should answer them. “Sure.” He said finally with a shrug. “She’s attractive enough but there’s something off about her. She’s not - anything special. Mediocre doctor, no charitable causes. She just seems pretty one dimensional unlike-“ he fell silent and looked away.

“Unlike who?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell her to come in and grab us coffee and food. You look like you need it.” He said with a wink and I laughed.

Megan appeared thirty seconds later. Wearing a smart skirt and blouse. Her heels click clacked on the parquet flooring as she moved towards me with a wide white smile on her face.

“Julian.” She beamed. “It was such a pleasant surprise to hear from you.”

I motioned for her to take a seat and fell back into mine.

“Was it?” I studied her over the top of my steepled fingers, watching as her expression slipped into something that looked like fear but just as soon as I had seen it , it was gone. She schooled her face back into a wide almost sultry smile. Her white teeth scraping at the bright red lipstick she was wearing.

“Of course I did Julian.” She reached across the desk for me and I leant away from her hand. She wasn’t the one. I could see it so clearly now.

“I’ve missed you Julian.” Her voice rose a notch. “Haven’t you missed me.”

I opened my mouth to ask her if she had missed me as much as all the other men she was stringing along but snapped my lips shut again.

What would be the point of that? I could see what kind of woman she was now.

A user.

And Ian was right. She was one dimensional. A woman who relied on looks that were already failing her. Now I could see her properly and with clear eyes I could see how fake her face was. Full of makeup which I didn’t usually mind but on her face it suddenly looked like clown paint.

She wasn’t attractive at all. Not even with the makeup and that’s because her soul was black.

How had I been so blind.

“How is your time in the unit going? Are you enjoying it?” Leaning back I studied her and her face fell.

“Did you bring me here to talk about my placement Julian? I was hoping you wanted to take me out. I am sure you promised me a meal as a thank -“

“But it wasn’t you that saved me was it?”

Her eyes skidded away.

“Was you even working that day?” I knew she knew what day I was talking about because her cheeks flamed red.

“No.” She whispered.

I let out a rattling breath.

“You were on the rota.”

“I was meant to but I had the flu and I couldn’t make it. I’m sorry I lied it’s just-“

“It’s just what?” I snapped. My anger was bubbling up but it wasn’t directed at her. I was angry at myself. “You wanted to see what you could get out of me?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No. No Julian.”

I shot her a look and she quickly threw her hands up and amended it quickly. “No your highness. I am so grateful for all the things you have done for me. You are a a kind and-“

“Stop it now. You want money yes?”

Her face fell but not before I saw the glimmer in her eyes. “Thought so.”

“It’s not for me.” She said in a rush. “My father is sick and the medical bills-“

With a sigh I stood up and turned my back to her. “How much do you need?”

“Twenty-“

“Million.” I gave a mirthless laugh and from behind me I heard her startled intake of breath. “Fine but you quite the unit. Give that spot to someone who deserves and wants it.”

“Like your wife?” She said in a mocking tone and I whirled on her.

“Do not talk about Cassie in my presence. Do not even mention her name.”

Pushing my phone into my ear I waited for Ian to answer.

“Every thing ok?”

“Yeah, have you managed to find out who was on shift that day?”

There was a pregnant pause. “No. They seem to chop and change shifts amongst themselves and don’t leave a paper trail.”

My eyes found Megan’s and a sense of loss swept over me.

“Can you meet Megan at the bank and authorise a money transfer to her please.”

“Sure. How much.”

“Thirty million.”

On the other end of the line I heard Ian gasp but it was at Megan’s face that my eyes were glued. She looked shocked but there was glee in their depths as well.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes alpha.” Ian's voice was quiet. “Anything else you would like me to do?”

I took a deep breath. “Stop looking for the woman who saved me.”

All the women in my life wanted me for one thing. My money and my power. They thought they could use me.

But I wasn’t the kind of man to be used by anyone. I needed to give up on this fantasy perfect woman.

Because no such woman existed.