CHAPTER 18
Emeliano's pov
I can't think straight.
My thoughts were all over the place as I stared at the door to my study. There was no discernable explanation as to why I said those awful things to Rebecca. None.
But I was quite sure of what I was feeling right now, guilt...
Why did her last words affect me so much?
What the hell is wrong with me? Why don't I think before saying something? Was it because I was in a bad mood? Or was it because I enjoyed our intimate session more than I expected to.
I kissed her again, and to my surprise, it was far better than the first time, the way my insides felt warm all over, the way I felt comfortable kissing her, the way my heart changed pace, was totally different from anything I've felt before.
I didn't want to stop, it was like I had been drugged.
And that is not good. That is not a good feeling at all, I shouldn't be feeling this for Rebecca, there's only one person I should have these feelings for. I've vowed to love her and only her, I've vowed to never ever let myself feel sexually attracted to any other woman.
So why the hell do I feel like I need to apologise to Rebecca again, to tell her that I didn't mean anything I said to her? Why? Why do I feel like turning back the hands of time and take back every word I said to her?
I raked my hands through my hair in frustration.
"This is not good." I muttered.
I should hate everyone from that family, I should be doing more than just insulting and touching Rebecca! So why the hell am I stalling?
There was something different about Rebecca, something promising, if I didn't know better, I would have thought she was different from every other member of that evil family.
But she seems different, she seems too innocent to be capable of doing anything to hurt anyone.
Of course she was stubborn, different from all other innocent church girls out there. But still...
I have to step up on my game, I wouldn't want to fall into the trap I layed for Her and her family.
I can't kiss her again, if I do, then I'm afraid I wouldn't stop, she was just so perfect in my arms, it was like she was molded to fit in my arms, unlike her.
Wait a second... Did I just compare Rebecca to her?
Oh, this is not good.
At all.
Moving to my desk, I picked up my phone and dialed Piper's number.
I needed some advice and I was pretty sure she'd be able to tell me what to freaking do.
She picked up on the third ring. "Emeliano? Why are you calling at this hour?" She asked.
"I'm sorry to disturb, um... I need help."
I heard her gasp from the other end of the line. "Oh my God! Don't tell me you killed her, I can't bury a dead body Emeliano! Why did you kill he
I scrunched my brows. "What? No? Why would you think that?"
"You sounded like you just killed someone, what did you expect me to think?"
I groaned. "I may have not killed her physically but I'm pretty sure I did just that, emotionally."
"Oh God... What did you do now?"
"I said some terrible things to her and I'm feeling so guilty, I seriously don't know what to do."
"Apologize to her."
"What? That's crazy, I'm not going to do that after what she said to me the first time I did apologize."
"That's the only way to make yourself feel better Emeliano- stop it Diego!" There was shuffling in the background.
My eyes widened suddenly.. "Is Diego there with you?" I asked her.
"Uh, yes."
"My God. Why didn't you tell me? He could have heard-"
"He knows about it already, you know I can't really keep secrets from him... He's actually coming to pay you a visit tomorrow... Don't tell him I told you." She spoke softly on the last part.
Groaning, I slumped down on my chair. "She got married, did you hear?" I said to Piper.
"Yeah... I can't believe she married Marcos! That girl is a bitch."
I frowned. "Don't call her that." I seriously don't know why I still had the urge to defend a woman that betrayed the hell out of me.
"You're still defending her? After everything she did to you?"
"I can't help it, I just- I'm trying so hard to get over her, but it's impossible."
"It's not impossible... You don't want to accept the fact that she never loved you, you don't want to accept the fact that she chose Marcos over you... You have to move on and stop obsessing over someone who can never be yours."
I sighed, she was right, I should move on... But I have to make them pay before I think of moving on, I have to make Rafael realize his mistakes...
"I can't just forget about what they tried to do to me Piper... I must make them pay for playing me."
"By hurting someone who knows nothing about this stupid revenge scheme? Someone who had nothing to do with what happened? Rebecca's innocent! Leave her out of this."
"I'll do that, when Rafael or his daughter comes to see me... When I see them beg and plead for me to let her go."
"Do you know how much of a villain you sound like right now?"
"I don't care. I just want them to come to me... They once told me that they'd never set their foot in my house again... I'll like to see them choke on their words."
"Do anything you like Emeliano, but don't hurt that girl in hopes to feel relieved when you finally get your revenge because I know quite well that your taste for revenge will be sated, but your feeling of guilt will never leave you until you apologize to her, sincerely. Think about it Emeliano... I'll see you at work tomorrow. Bye." She hung up.
That didn't help at all.
It only worsened the feeling of guilt I was feeling earlier.
I thought I was doing myself a favor by kidnapping Rebecca, but turns out I was only complicating things for myself, seeing as all I could think of was that heart building kiss we shared.
I'm screwed, big time.
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