Chapter 87

Sam stood in the middle of his living room, dumbfounded.
Your sister is very kind, Evie said.
"Yeah, she can be. Of course, she can be a real hardass at work, but Matt and the baby have softened her up a lot too."
You love working with your family, don't you?
He didn't have to stop and think. "Yeah, most of the time. Having your father as a boss can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but after the first few years it smoothed itself out. It helps that we've each carved our own niche." He went back through to the kitchen and began putting away groceries. "While Noel and I both went to art school, he designs the greeting cards. That leaves me to do ornaments, pillows and other holiday décor items. Nobody had done that before, so I pretty much have the whole department to myself."
You're all so creative. And your sisters are both active in the company too. That was rarely allowed while I was alive. Sure there were dressmakers and a few other women who worked, mostly widows or old maids, but it was frowned upon, and you were certainly expected to stay home once you were married.
"Times have changed. So what would you do today if you had the choice?" He wondered about that. If things were different, if she was here in modern society, what would she be like?
I'm trained to run a household, speak four languages and raise children. He could almost see her shrug. I play piano and sing, but not well enough to make a living at it. And I wrote a few songs - mostly lullabies for my brothers' children.
"So, music? Translator?" He folded up the reusable grocery bags and tucked them into their cupboard. "Corporate CEO?"
A governess or nanny, I think. Someone still has to look after the little ones while their mothers are running the world. Not the most honored profession, but surely one that makes a difference in the world.
"It's called child-care professional now," he told her. "And though it doesn't always get a lot of respect, I think it might be the single most important job there is. I know Shelby is less than thrilled with the nanny she hired, and Summer is already worried about it. They're trying to talk Dad into setting up a daycare at the office." Too bad Evie wouldn't be around to run it. With her blend of sweetness and brains, she could win his parents over to the idea in a heartbeat.
Dwelling on that hurt more than he'd have thought was possible. He knew that losing Evie was going to all but destroy him. That's why he'd asked his family to show up the day after she left. He knew he was going to need their support, though watching all of the others with their spouses was liable to be almost as depressing as being alone.
"Anyway," he said, determined to get his mind off the depressing shit. "Have you ever tried to go outside the house? I was thinking we could go sit on the back porch for a while."
The porch is part of the house. I can go there.
"Cool. Then I'll eat my dinner out there. We can watch Ghengis rampage through the flowerbeds." Having bought the house so late in the year, he hadn't even thought about restoring the dilapidated gardens. That would be next spring's project. For right now, Sam tossed a frozen entrée in the microwave and poured himself a glass of sweet tea. He wasn't in the mood to cook tonight. All his plans and preparations were for later.
Once the oven dinged, he took his glass and plate out to the covered porch on the back side of the house. The tall fence and shrubs that ran wild screened him, so none of the neighbors would see him talking to "himself". He sat in one of the two camp chairs he'd stuck back here until he could find something better and watched Ghengis run through the grass.
There used to be a willow tree in that corner, Evie said. We had a swing hung from it. Father used to push me when I was little, or my brother David. Jeanette and her beaus used to kiss there when she thought no one was looking, but I could see her from my bedroom window.
"A willow tree it is, though it will be a few years before it gets big enough for a swing." Sam ate his food, not even tasting it. He was too busy imagining Evie as a child, swinging with her golden hair bouncing in the sunlight.
Or you could simply build a swing set for your nieces and nephews when they visit. Her tone held a hint of laughter as she pointed out the obvious solution. There are plenty of trees here already.
She was right. Two live oaks and one peach tree were more than enough for one small urban backyard. The front held a huge magnolia and a hedge of azaleas. "That's a good idea. Thanks."
And it will be there, waiting, when you have children of your own.
Evie... He forgot to speak out loud, just reached for her with his mind. I don't know if I ever will. Because anyone he found wouldn't be Evie.
You must, Sam. Promise me you'll try. You need a wife, one who will love you as you deserve to be loved.
"I promise to try." His heart breaking, he whistled for Ghengis and picked up his empty plastic dish. "I have a little work I have to do then a few things I want to get ready for tonight. Do you want to watch another movie?"
No. She was tired of staring at the television. I will wait for you upstairs. If you want to talk before midnight, I'll be in the tower bedroom.
The little turret bedroom was pink, girly, and though it had obviously been decorated in the eighties, Sam suspected it had also been Evie's room in her lifetime. He'd thought of turning it into an office but had chosen a first-floor bedroom for that instead. He wasn't sure now he'd ever be able to associate it with anything but Evie.