Chapter 173: Impotence to Change What Is

Loiza's POV


"Hey! I didn't actually dump you, we weren't MATES and what would be the point after? We already know the stories; they become Chosen Mates and then they find their True Mate and then there's all this heartbreak and drama. We had already sworn this to each other Casi! You know how I was raised, they don't allow childish bullshit like that in Avalon. You follow the way of the Goddess PERIOD, you SAW how Víctor himself took it! We HATED each other, dude! I didn't want that for us, I still don't! Will I have to wait for you to find your mate for YOU to do your duty and deal with me?! By the Goddesses's Mercy Casi, have I LOOKED happy to you this past year?! I still did my duty with HOPE, but those childish romantic notions are just that! A fairy tail and fae are tricky as fuck! You let me know if you want me to go into detail, maybe knowing how MISERABLE I have been will make you feel better! I have done my duty admiral, grow the fuck up and do yours!" I'm already not well at ALL! Kayden is at the door and I run into his arms. Casimar looks like a deer in headlights afraid of a misunderstanding.

"Alpha, I assure you nothing improper happened between the Cac--" He shushes me and lets me draw in his scent with that of the pups and... Pasha?

"It's fine Admiral, I understand, I also had to have a serious discussion with the MANY women of my own past. Everything I had was just lust, nothing more... Nothing really to hash out. Except for the one that I had to take her head for being a Puta Slaver! Remember baby?" Dumbass is trying to make me laugh. A Puta Slaver? Seriously? Ha! I thought he was going to lose his sanity that day!

"Yes, I remember. How could I forget! It's not like I thought you were going to lose your mind that day and stab me with a cursed blade!" Casi stands and looks at Kayden more closely.

"You carry her Mark? You carry Gaia's Mark? You are her Executioner?" Kayden shows him the Mark. His yellow eyes turn from the Mark to Kayden's eyes and then back to me.

He sits down and Kayden holds me from behind.

"How's it feeling so far? I heard that even your physiology changed..." I look at Kayden and tell him to go back, I want this done. He kisses my hands and my mouth deeply marking his territory. Sigh... He goes back to what I assume is The Lagoon.

I sit down... "It feels like I'm a fucking prisoner! I hope your happy! I'm going to be everything you wanted for me... Stay on Island and pop up a half dozen pups!" Ugh!

"Yo! That's really unfair Izzy! I didn't want that for you! I even wanted to MARRY you! I wan---" Ugh!

"You KEEP saying what YOU WANTED PENDEJO! What about what I WANTED! Kayden is going into deep training to catch up to OUR standards so that HE can be escort for me outside! Would YOU have done that? PLEASE Casimar Reyes Miranda! Don't insult my intelligence! You know DAMN well that I'm here because I have worked my ass off for it... Or at least to be a good agent." I would have made an awful Doña Mirabal de Reyes. I think it finally hits him...

"Casi, with how your Mom is... Dude! We would have been miserable! Look at what happened with Kayden and myself! Do you think your mom would have gone full psychopath to achieve that type of untimely withdrawal from the family?" Even if she's only his biological mother, Kayden and Marcus feel awful for what happened. There are nights I dream with what happened and he sees it, after he makes sure that I am okay he has to walk out and smoke a joint and have a few bottles of wine. I had to command him to stop kicking himself and see it as an outside attack. Now that they're here and feel more invested in the island, the harder it is for them to come to terms with it. I have to return to therapy myself... I can't keep reliving this through dreams, I have to let go... It's hurting my mate terribly.

Casimar chuckles... His mother can be annoying as FUCK! But she's no traitor. Karaya itself will always be the LARGEST and most valuable Legacy the Reyes family has given our tribe. They are the ones along with the Spogels navigation systems, who found Karaya. It makes no sense to stain the name that earns you such high status in a pack. It's self sabotage.

"That MUST be rough... I couldn't imagine if Mami ever did something like that... What I wanted? I guess once again The Raven is the great Lady Loiza of Avalon!" He says in a joking manner. I didn't like it back then and I don't like it now. I am full on deadpan. He notices and suddenly he stops chuckling.

"Ugh! You SEE that right THERE?! I used to want to punch your face in every time you did that! I want to do it NOW! The only difference is that NOW I can actually KILL YOU with a THOUGH! I TOLD you how much it sucked! You know what Casi...? I JUST NOW am being REALLY happy for the first time EVER! I am fucking sick and tired of coddling ALL of you and making sure that all of YOUR feelings are intact and to hell with what I have GIVEN UP! Fuck your WANT! I would have wanted to grow up HERE and have a normal childhood! Every weekend I see the children be CHILDREN! I had three days per year that we still had to negotiate! For what?! THIS?! Do YOU want to give it a TRY Casimar? I can tell you right now that the freedom that you enjoy in the open seas will be denied to you inside this guilded cage!" He looks shocked.

"Izz! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that way, you know I was joking!" I am on him in a second and grab his chin and bring him down to my level.

"I fucking TOLD YOU a LONG time ago that I DETEST those jokes! Were you not paying attention those 8 times or did you just not give a shit! It has to be one or the other! Sigh... Casimar, is THIS what YOU want? If you haven't noticed we have a healthy list of enemies. Do you want to continue to be our Admiral or will I be receiving your resignation? Because guess what motherfucker, I'm NOT GOING ANYWHERE and I can't have a pouty, grumpy Admiral every meeting until he finds the mate who will get him out of his moodiness! I was the one who asked for Víctor to be Beta despite knowing how pissed he was at me because I knew he would be the best for the job. I accepted your appointment because I knew you would be the best at it, but tell me now if you don't think you can do it." He nodded rubbing his shaved head. Why would he shave it? He always left some short locks to his mohawk dreadlocks that he braided. It was strictly a Reyes look and he looked damn fine with it!

"SHIT! Izz I can do this, ok? I'm seeing Sandro directly. Are we still picking up the Coven? I was thinking that I could bring all the cars from Blood Moon and whatever else the Coven needs, you know to make up for Hatuey? I know what that car means to you. It will be nice to feel the presence of The Orishas a bit stronger, I still remember how strong Mami Wata's presence would be when I would take you fishing. The sea always LOVED you, maybe that's why it's so hard to let you go. Gimme a break Izzy, yeah I had my fun with women before you, but after... Shit..." He folds over. What's his problem? And I feel it... He's aroused! Shit is right!

"Casi? Do you want me to get Daniella?" He nods.

"Some Jading potion would be nice!" I link her and she's on her way.

"Fine! Izz every fucking time I smell you or just see you I start remembering holding your body naked to mine--" Ugh! Hurry up with that potion!

"OOOOOKAAAAY, I'm going to stop you right there! I REALLY don't want this information!" He rolls his eyes and bites his lower lip and I can clearly see his erection... I have touched him and he is HUGE, I would salivate everytime he would allow me to play with it... One of the reasons why I was disappointed when I didn't get him, there's a lucky woman getting that sometime.

"Do you think this is fun for me babe?! You're Cacique for Goddess sake! Your face is everywhere! I can't believe I left the fucking potion home!" I want to laugh, but I don't dare. For him to have such a strong physical reaction he must have been REALLY hopeful to be mated with me.

Daniella comes in with the potion and manipulates the water inside the blood of his erection easing his need and pain.

"Admiral remember to carry the potion, I'm going to recommend that you're sessions with Sandro be doubled, it's alright Cacique. We have had cases like this before and it's very possible that with the new information we have that you carry the Lycan mutation. The Reyes family carries it to but just like with most active genes being present in the Delta rank. Admiral, I'm going to have more detailed testing or your genome." This could explain this... For a male to reach this level of arousal from a MATED female is unheard of.

"If that's true his body must be desperate to procreate! Casi I'm putting you on leave for treatment for this! Why hasn't Sandro ordered it already? Have you gone to The District for release? For you Adriana would do it for free! I remember how much she hated me when she would see us together!" I know I'm blabbering right now, I can't help it when I'm awkwardly nervous like this. It's like this day never ends!

"Seriously izz that's not helpful. And yeah I've gone to The District, but once I have a woman in front of me it goes away!" Well I'm certainly not solving his problem!

"We're soon going to bring another pack, almost 3,500... Casi I don't know what to do about this!" Daniella hands him a few more bottles and a new therapy schedule before leaving.

"Don't put me on leave Izzy, please. It's always better when I'm off Island and I can keep looking for my mate." Fair enough.

"Fine. But can you perform your duty?" He really is the best, he can read the ocean almost as well as me.

"I won't fail you Cacique... For what it's worth Izz, I don't think I could be the Alpha you are. Kayden is a lucky man, he got the most precious pearl in The Caribbean... I'll take Hatuey with me, keep him out of your line of sight... It'll give me a chance to slap him around for a bit. I'm just grateful that it's you and not some huge chismosa, this is humiliating." As if!

"And what makes you think I won't tell everyone about this?!" He smiles making his features exceptional.

"That's not your style Izz... I always loved that about you. You always were good at keeping secrets, I'll keep working on this." There's no way I would be able to sleep at night if word about this would get out because of me. Still...

"Casi, it's not humiliating either way you know. Your body is giving a natural biological response... Fine, you'll continue your duties, follow Sandro's instructions to a T or I'll cut off your sea legs Admiral, savvy?" I really need to cuddle with Kayden... Who am I kidding?! I need a good fuck from MY MATE to relax all this crazy shit away.

"Savvy Izz." I think we can do this...