Chapter 96

Today of all days, she couldn't afford to have the door of Gabe's lodgings shut in her face. Or for him to stand blocking the way to his room, either. "What do you mean, you want me to marry you immediately? Splen ...you can't come in here. I'm not ... I mean I'm not dressed. Splen ...No ... "
That he was dressed in a bed sheet was of absolutely no consequence to her. Not when she was going to have to confess her little faux pas with the earl. But once that was done and dusted with the proverbial feather one she'd been so good at wielding at Starkadder's, once Gabe knew and understood why she'd done it and just how awful Stillmore was-how awful this was-surely her heart would stop bumping against the velvet confines of her plain, simple bodice, of the plain, simple gown she'd somehow managed to drag on after a plain, simple sleepless night. She and Gabe would run away. Or she could hide here until they could legally marry.
"Fine ... "
Gabe strode to the rumpled bed and dragged on a dressing gown. Not before she glimpsed the curve of his bare buttocks. Stillmore had raised an unfortunate heat in her, and her gaze was magnetized. She hastily shut the door behind her. It wouldn't do for Gabe to think she was looking. To see how on edge she was.
He tugged the gown shut. "Come in, anyway. Don't let me stop you. I never do."
"That's hardly so. I am sure the record will show several things have stopped me. In fact, you will be surprised at what just has."
Actually, the dressing gown just had. The soft, sea-green wool and the triangle of bare flesh framed by the black lapels, were so flashily unlike him, her jaw dropped open around the words she was going to say.
Never mind how-where on earth had he come by it? Did he have a habit like hers? Or was he jealous of the flashy earl in his immaculate great coats and elegantly pinned cravats and was taking action to smarten himself up, in the touching hope of being worthy of her, now that she was starting to move in these glittering new circles?
She had been anyway, until last night when she lost to the earl, which was why it was now vital she draw a definite line under this sorry business. The one that might otherwise gape like a widening black hole, the hole she'd seen herself vanishing down, during the seemingly endless night, a shrinking figure, getting smaller by the second.
Now she stood here, in this shabby dump of a room where plaster peeled and lath gaped like broken teeth, she felt that familiar energy coursing through her veins. The one that had helped her hold her head up in moments of great crisis. Such as when she had lost to the earl last night.
"You? Stopped by something? That'll be a first then Splen, and I don't think. Well, what's so important you got to drag me from my kip?"
He opened the chipped box on the chipped mantel, and her jaw dropped further.
Gabe didn't smoke, but he drew out a cigar. "The-the earl, Gabriel."
"That bedizened old crock of shit. What about him?"
"Well ... " Only now that she said the word, was it well? Despite downing that cup of tea with Topaz not twenty minutes ago, her lips suddenly felt like two dry bones attached to her face. Still she drew herself up. Gabe was hardly going to call the earl out.
No. He'd probably expect her to do that while he was off choosing another dressing gown or cigar. She pushed the thought away, cleared her throat.
"Well, yesterday was unfortunate, as you know. I am afraid I have got myself into trouble."
"So, what's that got to do with ...Wait a minute. Jeez."Gabe dropped the tinder box. Her gaze followed its progress down his dressing gown front. "Splen, what do you mean trouble?"
"Oh, not that sort. For God's sake, what do you think I am? You know I am keeping that for when we get married. And if I'm not for giving it to you, I'm not giving it to any man."
Pray God, given these improper thoughts she'd sometimes had about the earl, it would be soon. She curved her lips. Lately it had seemed her smile was a little faded, a little like a dying morning star. Hopefully this was not one of these times.
He bit on the cigar. "Well, what is it then, if it ain't that? Cos, if it is, it ain't-"
"Oh, just some small amount of trouble having to do with when the chess tournament ended yesterday. Nothing really to worry about as such."
"Trouble? How's that, when you said you was goin' home? And you flew out that toff's paradise like the devil was on your heels."
"Well, I did. Yes. I did go home, as you know because you came there to see where I was, which was very good of you. Exceptionally good, in fact. But then, well then ... " She cleared her throat as if the albatross she felt dragging on her neck had suddenly sprung into her windpipe and spread its wings. "I went out again. We had a small competition, the earl and I."
"What? What do you mean, competition? You went and played that bedizened crock of-"
"Please do not talk about the earl like that. It ... It was for your sake."
"For my sake?"
"Yes."
She struggled to contain a cough as he took a drag on the cigar. "And how's that? For my sake? Jeez, Splen."
"Well, not just you, Gabriel. Us. But only so we could be married as you suggested the other week."
"But you didn't want to."
"Because I ... was a little desperate about the money and that."
"So? What's changed your mind?"
"Changed my ... " At all costs, she must keep her calm. The earl asking me to be his for one night was not the thing to say. "Do I need a reason? We agreed, didn't we? A long time ago. So long there's been times-"
"Yes and last week you said no. Then you cleared off to meet that bedizened, old crock of-"
Did she need to be reminded of that and what she had done there too? Kissed one man while technically betrothed to another, when she'd planned on being a vicar's wife.
"Do I need a reason? I've said yes. I said it to you three years ago in Lan ... "
She broke off. She'd always tried to like cigar smoke. She tried now, but he was puffing white clouds of it in her face.
"Go on."