Chapter 68: Werewolf

I shift as I hit the ground, welcoming my wereshape, the strength it gives me, the supportive embrace of my wolf. I can't cry or sob or crumble when I'm in this body. I'm strong when I'm a werewolf. The weakness of my human skin I leave behind as I race through the California hills after Sage.

He's easy to track, I know him so well, even if his scent wasn't so strong. His energy trails behind him like a flaring beacon. I cut off as much as I can from outside touch, muffling the feeling of him with my own power, though the Enforcers, I'm sure, will find us shortly. They have to. There's no way they can miss the pulse of what is happening to him.

And what is happening? I can't tell, he's too far beyond me though I'm gaining, from the feel of him ahead. He's struggling with something as his magic shivers and shifts, almost like his body did. The ground flies beneath my paws as I push myself harder than I ever have to reach him. To be with him when whatever is coming completes itself.

I have to catch him before the Enforcers do. It's all I can focus on, the only thought in my head while my body runs on autopilot. They might catch us, but they will find us together, Sage and me. And then, come what may.

Just please, please, if there is a Universal mind out there listening, if Creator can hear me and cares even a little, please don't let him turn into a monster. Because if I have to kill Sage, I will die next to him.

I almost stumble over him when he collapses in a heap at the edge of a forest. He's been running for the trees all this time, our haunt, we wolves. I help him up as he shakes, shivering and twisting in pain, guiding him deeper, smothering the outward feeling of his magic. He seems to understand, pushing it down into the earth beneath us. But whatever is happening doesn't stop because I'm there. If anything, it draws on me and speeds up.

Sage collapses another thirty yards into the forest, whimpering, clawing at the ground. I stop and pant, watching him, dying inside. Is this it? Will he break and will I be forced to kill us both? I will not live without him. It's been a good life, though fraught with loss and darkness. But I found the light in the end, and I cling to that. I found Syd and her family. I found freedom for mine. And I love Sage.

It will have to be enough.

He looks up at me, eyes full of agony, but without insanity. If anything, they brim with his wolf. A gasp tears from my chest as his magic shifts one last time, and I understand where it is taking him, worse than any madness, beyond the horror of a revenant and out of my arms forever.

Sage sighs as his body shrinks and reforms, the last tatters of his clothing-shredded when he took werewolf shape-fall from him as the wolf inside him takes over completely and he falls into full lupine form. He shakes himself, like a dog emerging from the water, thick black ruff a mane at his throat. I see a white crescent on his left shoulder, the scar of the bite that has, at last, taken the Sage away from me.

Where once there was my love, now there is only a wolf.

He takes a wobbly step toward me as I allow my own wolf to retreat, finding myself naked and shaking, crying at last. Sage sinks to his haunches, licking his chops before trying again. He reaches me this time, butting me with his big head, tongue sweeping across my cheek.

I reach out for him, bury my hands in his fur, my face in his mane, and weep for his loss. No longer a danger to me or anyone else, he is now a simple beast.

The man I love is gone forever.

Charlie? Am I dreaming? Imagining his voice in my head? I must be. But there it is again, stronger, clearer. Charlie.

I lean away, gaping at him, staring in shock. "Sage?" His name barely clears my lips and he licks me again, joyfully.

Hey, Charlie, he sends. This is awesome. You have to try it.

I choke a laugh, a sob, hug him so hard he whines but doesn't pull away. "Sage!"

It's weird. He cocks his head to one side, ears perked, dark eyes glistening in the moonlight. I can feel me, you know? But I'm a wolf. He snaps his teeth, grinning. So cool, you have no idea.

I stutter before I can get the words out, my lips to work well enough. "Change back." Maybe this is a gift, a chance to save him. He's not all gone yet. If he can push himself into wereform, maybe we can keep his mind intact.

Sage shakes his big head, power fluctuating. Can't, he says. Already tried. It's like I'm locked in here, like I was locked in my human body.

"If you stay like this," I can't stop crying, "you'll lose your humanity." Weres who take full wolf form are lost to us forever, their minds gone to the animal they become.

He shakes again, cold, wet nose on my cheek. I don't think so, he sends. But I guess we'll find out.

I lean into him, hand still buried in his fur. "I guess we will." I've failed, but he's still with me. Tallah mentioned shades of gray. This is definitely one of those. Any other werewolf would assume he was gone, Sage's mind disappeared into the wolf, no matter his ability to communicate. I just have to see what this means, where this new Sage takes us. But I still have to protect him from those who would kill him for what he's become. Still doomed to death because of the means of his creation.

Revenant. Full form wolf. The man I love.

It's been a very long week.

Sage moves beside me, body warm and strong, his scent mingling with the wolf he's become. It's a good thing. I barely believe this has happened. It's solid proof he's still with me. The crash, he sends. Are you okay?

I gasp, lean away. I forgot all about the wreck, about my sorcerer friend trapped inside. My legs tremble as I stand.

"We have to find out what happened to Piers." Guilt rides me, drags me forward. Sage stays with me, leaning against me for comfort, his fur warm. I shift into wereform, no longer chilled and naked, and lope back the way we came.

No Enforcers, Sage sends, our power reaching together to feel for the presence of their magic.

I wonder where they could be. How did they miss what Sage went through? I'm grateful. It means we're safe for now. But it's one time I wish they would make an appearance, if only to help the friend I abandoned. A blessing, I send. Hurry.

We pick up speed, reach the edge of the road faster than I expect. I crouch at the sight of human emergency vehicles, and, at last, the touch of Enforcer and witch power.

They'll take care of him, Sage sends.

I nod, resting my forehead against his fur. Now what? I really don't know. I came here looking for proof of Caine's guilt, only to find he's now wereking, my grandfather deposed. And my search for a cure for Sage has led to him becoming a full wolf.

I've failed far worse than I ever imagined possible.

Don't be silly, Sage sends in a wise voice that's all wolf. We're not done yet, my love.

He turns, leads me away from the crash. I follow, though the defeat in my heart makes it hard to put one paw in front of the other.

***

Sage's heavy head rests in my lap as the boxcar rattles its way over the tracks. I look out the open door over the countryside, trees and water and houses flying by. After a quick theft of clothing for me and a liberated wallet or two for money, we boarded a train heading north. We have nowhere else to turn, nowhere to go. My attempts to reach Syd by magic have done nothing, and my botched tries to reach through the veil have failed. Maybe I need fear or anger or some other powerful boost to push me through. For now, entry to the veil is lost to me.

The black wolf sleeps, grunting softly in his rest, front paws scrabbling a moment at the wooden floor. I stroke his soft ears, tracing the white crescent of the bite on his shoulder, the only evidence remaining of what happened to him. I wish I could offer more comfort. He stills after a moment, the dream of chase over, my fear for him rising. It's a wolf's dream, not a man's. Which means he's losing himself to the creature he's become.

Yes, he's with me now. But for how much longer? I have no way of knowing. He is an anomaly, completely outside my experience. If he is our next evolution, does that mean werewolves are meant to be full wolves instead? But that leads me down a road I can't accept. Like revenant lore, the legend of werewolves who have given in to the full lupine shape tell me he should have lost his humanity already. And I can't believe my people are meant to simply allow themselves to turn to mere animals when we are so much more already.

I think of Femke and the file on revenants. What other information does she have on us that might be relevant? Science and research could say otherwise.

My heart longs to return to Ukraine, to rescue my grandfather. He stood up for me. That fact makes sobs rise in my chest, my throat tightening against them. Even after all I've done, Oleksander loves me and tried to protect me, choosing me over the werenation. Gratitude makes me weep silently for the dear old wolf who I thought had turned his back on me. And I'm just going to leave him there, to be killed by Caine and his people while the false wereking sells us back to sorcerers? I could go back, maybe. Sage is in no further danger from the infection that made him a revenant. I could find a place to leave him, maybe with Syd, or return to California and Tallah.

But if Zoe Helios is to be believed, staying away from home, from the impending death of my grandfather, is exactly what I must do. But can I trust her?

Can I risk not?

And what is this trauma she spoke of? Something I must endure, survive. Whatever it is, I can face it. As long as I have Sage at my side. I stroke his fur again. I will save him. There has to be a way. And this train ride, then another, linked to another, will take me where I need to go.

To her. To Syd. She will save him.

The sun rises in the east, lighting the sky of the eighth day. And I choose Sage. For now. But Cicero Caine and his little pack can watch their backs. Because I will return to my homeland. I will free my grandfather. And if I'm too late, I will avenge him in blood and fire.


END OF BOOK TWO

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