Chapter 31

As usual, his answer was the same. "I don't want to talk about it." 

Alphose can still remember the ones the Alpha King had been able to tell him on the night his mother was buried...

Some nights he'd howled all night long. Raging. Out of control.
On other nights the females scream all night long. The females he was drugged and forced to breed like an animal.

The Changeling females are brought out bleeding and half-dead.
The human females came out dead. Shredded into pieces.

And yet, he did not give those doctors what they want.
 A child. His child.

Alphose shot down the horrible memories and tried to concentrate on the present. "But, something has to be done. Apart from her dying state, you need her too."

"You are not healing, Wolfariane, and I can feel the wolf's agitation from here." Even the man's lust for the female. But, he swallowed those words, knowing that the leader will not appreciate it at the moment, "You need her."

Turning away from the window, the Alpha King faced him, "You can feel the wolf, but can you feel the cougar?" 

Alphose...couldn't. 
He closed his eyes and allowed his own cougar to reach out...
And still came out with nothing.

"That's weird." His brows knitted in confusion, "No, I can't feel him. That part of you is being... too quiet."

Wolfariane looked him straight in the eyes, "That is because he wants to kill her. My human mate."

"Oh...hell." It dawned on him.

"Yes. That part of me wants to rip her apart so badly, Alphose, I can practically taste it. I feel the urge...fiercely, whenever I get too close to her. It is a struggle. What makes it worse is that I want her. I want her with an intensity that is frightening." Anger laced his voice, directed at himself as if he was blaming himself for wanting her.

Automatically, Alphose looked down and winced audibly. Indeed, he is spotting a huge boner for the small beautiful woman lying unconscious on his bed.

The Alpha King is denying himself of the female, but he hungers for her...badly. How long will his resistance last? 
Most importantly, will she be able to handle a man like him when he loses the battle and gives in to his basic instincts?

The Alpha King continued, "If I touch her, it'll be just like those days in the lab, whenever they throw a human female into my cage. A part of me is drugged and goes right ahead to ravish her to relieve the overriding ache in my body, while another part of me lies in wait...," He stated in curt words, his expression blank but his eyes a blue river of banked fury. "...waiting for me to lose control in the climax, then the rest is history. I wake up to blood and bones of the female I took sexual pleasures from."

He walked past Alphose to the bathroom and stopped at the door. "I have no liking for humans, but no one deserves to die like that. Not even my dying human mate."

With that, he entered the bathroom and closed the door.

***********

An hour later, the healer Alphose called to check on Ismena had left a note that Ismena will be fine for now, but he does not know how long his treatment will last since he has never come across a deadly illness like hers.

The Alpha King had refused treatment. Instead, he sat behind his desk sorting out documents and signing a few of them.

Alphose was about to take his leave, he got to the door...and stopped. "If the urge becomes irresistible, you can have intercourse with her without mating her, you know."

His scribbling hand paused. He looked up at the cougar Alpha who was the only person close enough to him to be called a friend.

"Please, let me explain." He rushed on at the scowl on his face, "You both need each other. I know you want her, and she wants you too. A male changeling's body cannot go for too long without séxual intimacies from females to keep us sane. And feeling the wolf's agitation, I know that part of you is not keen on the thought of being with another female."

"So, you can share intimacies together; your body will be fed, and hers will be fed too. She will live longer, then, return to her world healthier when the ring is retrieved. And, you can go on with your life here, the wolf might let go with the hunger satisfied...maybe." He finished.

"The cougar in me—" he began.

"That part of you lures behind waiting for you to reach climax inside a human female to take over control because that is the only time you are vulnerable...less in charge. So, you can try NOT being inside her when you are about to...uhm...to release." 

His cheeks went faintly ruby, but he pressed ahead anyway, determined to help the Alpha King if he can be able to. "I don't know for sure, but I think that will do it...if you can be able to resist the strong pull to release inside her body."

Wolfariane kept quiet. For long. For too long.
"I have not cum inside any female in the last eighteen years, Alphose." He revealed it finally.

The sentinel's eyes went wide. "Never? Not for once? Not even during the full moon?"

"Not for once. Not even then."

He couldn't hide his surprise. Even during the full moon!? How was he able to control THAT particular urge? It is too overriding. Too demanding. The urges of the full moon. How was he able to control himself all these years?

But then again, with the Alpha King, almost everything is possible. His control is always impeccable, even in front of danger. 
No Changeling male can do the things he can do. No Changeling male has half of the control he does.

It's suddenly starting to make sense. Those roars that tear out of his mouth occasionally during the full moon. He'd thought they were just of pleasure, but they did sound like pain too. 

Now, he realizes that it's both. That effort it takes not to release inside a female's body during the full moon MUST be agonizing. 

Why does he have to put himself through that? "But... why?" However, even as he asked that he already knows the reason.

He picked up the pen again, flipped the pages of the document in front of him, and scribbled down his signature on it. "A child. I do not want to risk getting any female pregnant."

Of course. Alphose lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Placing the document aside, he picked up a new one and flipped through it, "I do not want a child."

But he did. Once upon a time, he wanted a child. He daydreamed about a mate and children too.
Alphose's heart was heavy for him. Humans did way more than any of them knows.

"Go and check for updates on the sentinels we sent to the non-changeling world. Let me know if there's any new development." Wolfariane said, reluctantly.

Alphose knows a dismissal when he hears one. He inclined his head respectfully, made his way to the door, and stopped.

"Think about what I said...please. You are not in the lab anymore. You do not have to mate her. If she consents to a physical relationship, you can take sexual pleasure from her and it will be a win for both of you. Just think about it, alright?" That said, he opened the bathroom door and walked through it.

Long after he left, those soft-spoken words remained in the air.

Wolfariane dropped the pen and allowed himself to stare at the woman lying down on his bed. Even now, his body reacted to her.

His life has always been hard because of past nightmares he has to live with everything single day. Painful, because of a sister who lost her sanity because of him...now trapped in her wolf form for eighteen years. Heavy, because of his duties and the safety of his people.

Now, his life has taken an intensely complicated turn.

His missing ring that might have put the life of his people in danger, a dying human mate, and this craving for her that only gets worse every single day.
The mountain lion growled and flexed his claws inside him. 
.