28

AUDREY
I understood the reason behind Gabriel’s outfit, the place where he brought me was the last thing I would expect. He took me to the coast of the Classic Harbor Line, where I found a beautiful view of the Hudson River. Jones was already waiting for him, standing by a fine-looking yacht.
“Mr. Stark, Miss Hopkins, “ he greeted his boss, and Gabriel approached him with a pat on his shoulder.
“Jones.” I smiled at him.
“Is she ready?” Gabriel asked Jones, probably referring to the yacht behind him.
“Whenever you are, Mr. Stark.” Jones gave way to Gabriel first, and he hopped onto the majestic boat, and then he reached out his hand to me.
“Come.”
“Are we riding that?”
He cocked his head. “Yes. Give me your hand.”
I clasped my palm with his, and while he was pulling me to him, Jones helped me step onto the deck, but he didn’t come after us,
“Enjoy your sail, Mr. Stark, Miss Hopkins.”
“What is going on? Are we really?” I cleared my throat. I was still confused. “Is this okay?”
“Don’t worry. Keeping my private life safe is Jones’s duty. Wait for me here.” Gabriel disappeared into the cabin, and while he was gone, I strolled around the deck and leaned onto the railings.
I inhaled the air and lifted my chin as I let the sun warm my face. I wasn’t sure why or how I ended up coming here with Gabriel, but I’d never been on a yacht before, and so this feeling stirring inside me was too brand new. I was a bit overwhelmed.
The wind and the weather were just right for cruising.
“Whoa!” I held on to the railing.
Gabriel appeared next to me, but he settled behind the wheel and handled it by himself, then we began to sail on the waters.
A half-smile played at the sides of his lips. “You okay?”
“Um, yeah, but where are we going?” I grinned. “Are you driving this thing?”
“This thing has a name. Carpe Cross. And yes, I’m driving this.”
Did he name the boat Cross?
I froze. My chest tightened for a moment.
I had only known one Cross in my life—the man I destroyed, I hurt, but still always had a place in my heart. I had suffered a great deal from it. I’d lost, tired, and filled myself with other things, but I couldn’t erase it. My sin in the past remained my wound over the years. Now it was coming back again to me.
What was I doing? If fate was testing me, how would I survive?
I couldn’t contain my emotions. My chest was going to explode before I even knew it.
“Audrey?” he called with a smile across his face. “Come here.”
I hesitated, but when I looked up at his face, the first thing I saw was the shadow of Liam’s features. His eyes, nose, lips, the shade of his hair… My knees collapsed.
“Audrey!” Gabriel panicked, then abruptly stopped maneuvering the wheels, and the boat stopped in the middle. He swiftly moved next to me and held my face. “Are you okay?”
Air abandoned my lungs. “I can’t… I can’t do this…” I said breathlessly. I slipped a glance at his face, but I couldn’t bear it. I looked away.
“What’s wrong, mm?”
No. This was only an illusion. I had survived up to this moment. My fate with Liam wouldn’t be the same as Gabriel—not when I realized a relationship with him was impossible. The huge difference was already in front of me. All was just an uncanny coincidence.
I calmed myself down. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” Gabriel picked me up from the ground and brought me to his arms. “Hold on.”
I slipped an arm to his shoulder and clutched onto his jacket. My throat burned. I’d never lost myself like this for a long time, and I was embarrassed that it had to be at this moment.
We reached the cabin, and Gabriel brought me down to the sofa. I wandered my eyes around and let myself at least admire the yacht’s interior. Only about a ten-foot-tall ceiling, the cabin was decorated with exquisite furniture and fixtures. It had a living room, a kitchen, and a wine bar, compacted in lesser floor space.
Gabriel walked into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.
“Bottoms up.”
“Thanks.” I gulped the water gradually. I set the glass over the table in front of me, and he slumped next to me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I can’t do this. I mean, with you alone like this.”
Gabriel shoved an arm behind me and leaned on the sofa. His mouth was close to my ears.
“Why?”
“Because I’m not ready.”
“Am I rushing you?”
“No, honestly, you aren’t. It’s just going to be too much for me to bear. You see, I’m not in the right state of mind.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “I’m listening.”
“But you’re not. I can’t be with you or anyone else. I deserve to be alone.” I scratched my head. “I hurt people around me, Gabriel, but I don’t know how I can explain to you because I can’t.”
“You don’t want to, “ he concluded. Gabriel lifted his leg onto the couch behind me, then he moved his hand on my shoulder and pressed me against his body. But he was not done. He gently brought my head onto his chest. “Better?”
I nodded.
“Audrey, do you think I’m capable of leaving you alone now that you’re within my grasp?” he whispered.
I shrugged.
“I’m not. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you I’ve waited for this.”
“Will you tell me?”
“I will show you, “ he suggested.
I rolled to my side, wrapped an arm on his body, and then sunk myself onto his chest. I’d never imagined that I’d get to touch and feel Gabriel Stark in my arms when I first walked into his company for an interview. From the first time I saw his face, I knew he was already special.
He fondly stroked my hair. “Do you like it here?”
“I like it very much.”
He chuckled softly. “Is this how you say you don’t want me?”
“I didn’t say I don’t want you.”
“Then do you?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want me?”
I bit my bottom lip, I hesitated to admit it for a moment, but I eventually nodded. “I want you.”
I felt his smile. “Then the feeling is mutual. What could go wrong with that?”
I lifted my head and glanced up at his face. “You don’t understand.”
He cupped my face, and he held my gaze. “Then make me understand instead of running away.”
“I’m not running away. There are things about me that are holding me back.”
I realized I never really talked to anyone about my private life aside from Chelsea, or maybe because I had turned down everyone trying to know me. But with Gabriel… Why was it hard to refuse him? Did I trust him enough to tell him?