53

AUDREY
Liam Gabriel Cross. Was I hearing things?
My head was suddenly spinning, and I felt colder than ever. There was pressure building in my chest.
“Maya…” I whispered with a hitched breath.
“Is everything all right?”
I held on to the counter, so I was losing balance. My legs felt numb. “Liam… He’s Liam,” I stated.
Maya appeared next to me and held my arm. “Audrey, what’s wrong? You suddenly look very pale. Do you want me to call Gabriel?”
“No!” I refused instantly, almost screaming at her; I didn’t mean to. “No… I’m sorry. I’m going to be fine. I’m just dizzy, I think.”
What I heard was right. I didn’t hear things. All of a sudden, evidence came sparkling in my mind like a storm. Come to think of it, I was already aware. From the moment I saw his face during my interview, from the way he spoke as if we’ve known each other for a long time, Anton’s curiosity, and the way he mistook him when they first met (or met again) and how his interest in him lingered. I was blinded by his new presence—a successful businessman—that I’d never thought Liam would achieve.
And then his death which I thoroughly believed.
I told him my issues.
I told him how broken I was, not knowing he was listening to his own misfortune. He probably hates me, and he just wasn’t saying it.
What was his intention now?
I was such a fucking fool.
No, no, no. I couldn’t believe it. It must be only a coincidence.
It’s just a coincidence.
I jerked at the abrupt knock on the door, and Gabriel’s voice (or Liam) echoed inside. “Maya? Is everything okay there?” He knocked again. “Maya.”
“Yes, but Audrey seems to be feeling okay,” she answered back.
“I’m coming in.”
The door was pushed open, and Gabriel stepped inside. His arm immediately caught my waist. I trembled at his touch, but it was bad that I wanted his every touch. My body was still responding to him—though my head was currently in a daze.
“Audrey?” he whispered softly. “How do you feel?”
“I’m… fine.”
“What happened, Maya?”
“We were just talking.”
“About what?”
“I’m sorry, Gabe. We were talking about you and—”
I grasped Maya’s arm. “It’s nothing. Just take me home now.”
“Are you sure? You can rest for a little,” he suggested, but I firmly shook my head.
“I want to go home,” I murmured. I almost couldn’t hear my own voice. Gabriel’s hand moved to my waist to help me, but my instinct told me to move away from him. I was so confused. I couldn’t picture him being the man I destroyed long ago, but reality was screaming at my face. Damn, why couldn’t I look at him now?
We both bid our goodbyes to the Starks and departed, but no one talked during the drive. A thick, palpable tension was between us. My eyes were shut, trying to take a nap, but I felt restless.
If he was really Liam, did he intentionally hide from me? Why?
Did he know it was me?
Of course, he knew.
I told him about everything.
I wanted to say something, but it was as if my mouth was frozen. I remained unmoving until my awareness, fortunately, went blank.
***
A soft whisper brought me back to life, and when I wished everything was just a dream, I fell into reality. Gabriel was still sitting in the driver’s seat, and he was watching me intently.
“How are you feeling?”
My throat felt dry. “I’m fine.”
His eyes narrowed. “You don’t sound fine to me.”
I looked outside the window, and I saw my apartment building. “I just need to rest. Good night, Gabriel.” I opened the door and pushed it open, then stepped out. I shut the door and headed straight to the building, but footsteps approached, and I was suddenly spun around.
“What is this sudden cold shoulder you’re giving me? Did I do something wrong?” he questioned incredulously, holding my arm.
“You didn’t do anything.” It was me who did something to you.
If he really were Liam, I could understand his reason for not telling me. I needed to process all of this first. However, at the same time, I wanted to get mad, but I couldn’t throw it all on him.
“Then why?” His grip tightened, and so did his tone. “What did Maya tell you?”
“We were just talking!” I snapped.
He wiped his face down to his chin. “She told you, didn’t she?”
“What?” I demanded. “What is she supposed to tell me, Gabriel?”
“God!” He shut his eyes, then ran his fingers to his scalp harshly. “She did tell you something.” A muscle in his jaw rippled, then he set his eyes back at me anxiously. “What did she say?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you can tell me.”
“How was I supposed to know what she told you, Audrey? You’re suddenly getting pissed at me. Was I supposed to guess?” he retorted, and honestly, he never raised his voice at me even once, but now…
“Then maybe you should guess!” I threw my arms in the air. “Good night, Gabriel.” I turned around and then headed to my apartment, but he was always one step ahead. Always was.
He crammed me between his arms and spoke as if in pain. “Face it, Audrey. Don’t run away and face it.”
I looked directly into his eyes. I searched for any trace of Liam in him, and now that I knew, I saw the boy who begged me to save him eight months ago, but I was a coward.
“Face it,” he hissed tightly as if pleading. “Don’t run away,” he said, repeating his earlier statement.
I instead lifted my hand and traced his face with my fingertips, touching his eyebrows, his nose, down to his ever-kissable mouth. He shut his eyes, breathing heavily.
“I’m—”
He abruptly pressed me tight against his body. “What did my sister tell you, Audrey?” he whispered.
I shook my head. “It’s not true, right? You can’t be.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore!” he cut me off. “Who you are, who I am, who we are—it doesn’t matter, Audrey.”
I finally cried, burying my face in his chest. I cried so hard, as if my life depended on it. “How could you forgive me?”
He kissed my shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he responded, completely understanding where I was coming from.
“Liam…” I whispered.
“It’s Gabriel, Audrey,” he corrected. “Liam failed.” He parted away so he could look at my face and hold my cheeks. “Gabriel didn’t.”
“How?” I swallowed dryly, my voice inaudible. “How is this possible? How can you not hate me? Why didn’t you tell me? How are you alive? How did you survive? What happened to you?”
“Too many questions. I told you it doesn’t matter.”
I shook my head, sobbing. “It is to me!” I exclaimed. “I looked like a fool, talking to the person I destroyed. You probably hate me!”
“Come on, you didn’t destroy my life,” he pressed.
“No, that was probably what you thought before. And I actually did. It is something that shouldn’t be forgiven—”
“Redemption, Audrey,” he cut me off and searched for my eyes. “I told you, you are my redemption. Please don’t hold me back.” He set his forehead with mine. “If you think it’s only you who was guilty of what you did, I am, too. I should have known what happened to you. I should’ve looked for you,” he stated agonizingly.
I sniveled, apparently unable to contain my emotions and his words seemed so surreal. I couldn’t believe how it was easy for him to let it all go. He almost lost his life because of me.
“I was in hell. How could I be your redemption?”
“No, you are my angel. We’ll talk about this. I will tell you everything you need or want to know. I will answer you. Please just don’t run away.”
“You don’t understand,” I whispered. “I need time.”
“We barely even started anything, and you sound like you were already breaking up with me.”
“I’m not,” I amended. “But I just need to figure it out myself. You know how much I carried all this weight. I couldn’t move on, but now you’re suddenly here in front of me—”
He exhaled. “I’ve been next to you for a couple of months,” he pressed. “It’s still me.”
“That’s the point. I didn’t know how I should look at you. Outside, you are Gabriel, but you’re completely a different person from what I thought you were.”
“I’m Gabriel, Audrey,” he said tightly. “Inside and out.”