CHAPTER 22: GOSSIP AND TEASING

I expected my first day to be much more different. I have only one two hour lecture and so
much has happened; stuff that I wish hadn't of happened. Everyone always stares at me
every time I walk down the halls, whispering to each other. Some even shout some very
hurtful words. It's like everyone's constantly judging me; they're judging me for a choice that I
didn't make and that I shouldn't even be judged for. I wish that someone knew, knew how I
am feeling and knew about everything. It's sad because I don't even have the guts to tell my
best friends.
Someone coughs as they walk past me saying, "whore." I sigh softly and cup my cheek with
my hand leaning my elbow on the table. That's just another example of what people are
saying to me.
"So Claudia, are you sure you're not just Isaac's toy. Like I'm pretty sure you sleep with him
all the time and you just skipped the boyfriend girlfriend thing and went straight to marriage."
A random girl who I don't even know chuckles.
I stand up from where I'm sitting and face her, I'm taller than her so that's a bonus. This
random girl seems like a complete b*tch. But I give her a fake smile but then scowl. "Honey, I
don't open my legs to anyone with a penis. The difference between you and me is I have
class and you don't, oh and I also have standards. So if you don't back the f*ck off then I'll
take some action."
She stands there shocked for a moment, her mouth wide open but then she snaps it closed
and gives me an icy stare. "Look I just got a manicure and I don't want to ruin these very
expensive perfect nails," I roll my eyes at her and smirk.
"Scared are we? I'll snap one of your perfect nails off if you don't go away." She gasps.
"I'm reporting you to someone," she snaps at me like a piraña. Weird comparison Claudia.
"Oohhh I'm so scared," I wave my hands in the air in 'fear' which makes her scowl at me.
Emma backs away slowly and points at me.
"You'll regret this. My father won't be too happy to hear about this." I shrug and wave at her.
"Well I don't think that I'll regret this, someone needed to tell you that you're a fake b*ch too
invested in someone's life who they don't even know!" She scowls and turns her back to me,
walking away from our argument.
I sigh and sit down again. Joey, Carter and Aaliyah walk into the cafeteria and grin at me
waving like complete lunatics. Shaking my head I laugh out loud. They all sit down with their
food in their hands and look around only to notice everyone's eyes are on me.
"Something happened. Let's hear, are they messing with you again because I swear if they
are-" I cut Aaliyah off from her rage moment.
"Another random." I explain to them what happened and by the end of my story they're all
laughing very loudly and high fiving me. But the proudness and cockiness disappears
because I can't help but think will this happen all the time? For my whole degree will
everyone continue teasing me because I'm now 'married.' It was an arranged marriage! I just
wish people knew... I don't want to be teased for these whole 3 years for a stupid mistake
that my father made, but someday Isaac and my parents will regret this and I'll make sure of
it.
"Claudia, you there?" Carter clicks his fingers in my face effectively snapping me out of my
thoughts.
"Yeah... sorry." They all shrug and continue talking between themselves.
"Hey slut!" The chatter in the group stops and we all turn to the source only to see a football
player, Joseph Jones: people call him JJ the 'star' player. But to be honest he may be a good
player but he looks and acts like crap. He got a scholarship here and I'm guessing he's taken
over the football club again. Aaliyah growls under her breath and flips him off, Joey stands
up angrily and I shake my head. Nothing good is going to come out of this if Joey tries
punching him. Firstly Joey is tall and Muscular but not as muscular and tall as Joseph; plus
Joseph is backed up by tonnes of football players.
"Joey no," I say and he stops in his tracks giving me a look.
"He just called you a slut, I'm not going to sit there and let it slide." I stand up and pat his
chest and I say a quick thank you to him before making him sit down. I sit down too but
Aaliyah snaps at him, shouting any swear word in the dictionary.
"You're a little sh*t head you know that? You think that you are sooo cool because you're
captain of the football team and quarterback but really you aren't. No one would actually care
about you if you weren't the football star, you sleep with any girl so you can't talk and my
best friend doesn't sleep around. She hasn't even had sex with him!" She exclaims, he
scowls at her and grabs her by the wrist.
"You little b*tch," she struggles to free herself from his grasp, I stand up trying to push him off
of her but he doesn't budge. He grips her hips, "you aren't that cool yourself you know." Joey
and Carter both shove his shoulders, he stumbles back and I gasp as Joey punches Joseph
on the cheek. Oh no...
Where are the security team members at lunch time? Incidents like these are bound to
happen! Joseph pushes him off of him and straddles Joey, he punches him very hard to
which I scream at him to stop. Which obviously doesn't help. By now there's a crowd forming
around them, most people chanting the word 'fight' I push at Joseph's shoulder I even slap
him across the face but it's like he's immune to it.
"JUST STOP!" I scream which makes everyone look at me. Everyone but Joseph. Carter
punches Joseph trying to protect his boyfriend but that leads to another blood bath.
I fish my phone out from my pocket and call Matthew, he answers straight away. "Claudia
are you okay?" He says straight away.
"No. You need to come to my school, please hurry!" I panic.
"Okay, I'm coming." He hangs up and I put my phone in my pocket.
It is so disgusting how no one but Aaliyah and I are trying to stop the fight. I cry softly as I
see Joey knocked out cold, I feel for a heartbeat and sigh in relief when I feel it. Aaliyah
punches him on his jaw which makes him stop, Aaliyah hisses out painfully and shakes her
hand around in pain. He stands up slowly and grabs her just as Matt rushes through the
crowd. His eyes turn predatory as he sees Joseph's hands on his girlfriend and not in a flirty
way. I feel scared for Joseph but he deserves it. Matthew is big.
Matthew grabs Joseph by the collar and punches him. "You touch my girlfriend or Claudia,
Joey and Carter again and you're dead." Matthew growls in between punches. Joseph tries
to fight back but fails. I think I should stop this.
"Matthew stop." He doesn't listen, "STOP IT!" I scream very loudly which makes him stop
and look at me then Aaliyah. He gets off him and mutters words to two of the footy players.
They nod timidly and Regan walks to Joey, Axel walks to Carter. They lift my best friends up
and Matt wraps Aaliyah up in a hug.
"Let's go back to Isaac's and Claudia's," he says to Aaliyah. He turns to me, "are you okay?"
I blink. No I feel like screaming, crying, hitting anyone and breaking anything. I feel scared. I
feel so alone. I feel like dying.
But I whisper to him; "I'm fine."
||
Aaliyah gave me space. Joey and Carter are getting tend to by Zac's private doctors and
Matt is with Aaliyah.
I feel a lonesome tear running down my cheek but I don't bother to wipe it away. I'm so so
alone. I don't want to exit my room or even the house because I feel like if I do that everyone
will judge me. Maybe what happened today will happen again and I don't want that.
Why am I always crying? Why am I the one who always gets hurt? I scream into the pillow. I
want to end it all. People see a happy girl, they see what they want to see and for a long
time I let them. I didn't let their hurtful words and looks bother me but it does, they don't know
how hurt I really am. All that I want to do is scream my heart out, just cry for hours to let it all
out then sleep and forget about it.
Isaac is still at work so I'm not sure if he's heard what happened or if Matt will tell him once
he gets home. But right now I don't know what I'm feeling, all I know is that I'm hurt; I'm hurt
and it feels like my heart is being torn out of my chest.
*Trigger warning, I do not promote self harm! Skip if you want to*
I'm not thinking as I walk to the bathroom and frantically look through the draws for a razor. I
find one and with shaky hands bring it to my wrist.
"You whore!"
"You're a slut!"
"Sleeping around with older men, nice of you Claudia."
I scream out loud and bring the razor to my wrist. I want the pain to stop, I can end it all. No
more rude and hurtful comments. No more deals. No more lying. No more fake marriage. No
more parents and no more Isaac.
Closing my eyes I slash the razor across my wrist. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I
look up quickly through the mirror and see Isaac looking furiously at at the razor in my hand
and my now bloodied wrist. It's not deep enough, he came in just in time. He storms up to
me and snatches the razor from my hand and grabs my wrist, he looks up and from my wrist
and I avoid eye contact.
"Why?" He croaks out. "What happened? What made you hurt yourself?" He growls angrily.
I look up at him through watery eyes and whisper, "I don't want to feel anymore. I need to
stop the pain. I HATE FEELING!" I scream, the pain in my wrist is pleasurable it doesn't hurt.
He shakes his head and searches through the cupboard, he pulls out a first aid kit and
places it on the basin. He starts cleaning up my cut, "feeling is what makes us human. "
"Yeah and I hate being human! I'm sick of the bullying, the name calling, the fights, my
family. I'm just so sick of everything and I could end it all Isaac! I can end my suffering
finally." He shakes his head furiously, his body starts shaking slightly in anger.
"I thought that you were stronger than this. The Claudia I know doesn't take anyone's crap,
she's brave and tests her limits. My Claudia doesn't give up and this one is not her," I cry
softly.
"You just don't get it Isaac. There's only so much I can take, I'm just a girl." He bandages up
my wound and brings my wrist to his lips, he presses a light kiss to it and I cry even harder.
"Claudia you don't need to resort to this, you have people to talk to. You have friends that
can stick up for you and to live for and if you died.... I'd have nothing to live for," he admits.
I'm slightly confused but I don't question what he says.
I bring a hand up to my chest where my heart is and press down on it somehow trying to
erase the burning pain. I lung towards him and wrap my arms around him in a hug and I cry.
I cry my heart out and he just stands there with his arms tightly around me and in complete
silence.