Chapter Sixteen

This wedding flew around quickly, and I’m not stood here Alex by my side preparing to marry a man I’ve not said more than four words too since he told me the wedding would be small.

I’ve spent most nights in my room trying my hardest to work out what’s going on with him, what does he run hot and cold all the time it’s like he has this brick wall build around him and only he knows how to get inside.

I have concluded that this game he seems to play with the people around him has no rules or restrictions and only he can win.

We have only seen each other in passing and at work, he leaves me to my own devices, I somehow get the feeling that he is watching me, I try to avoid him by leaving the building to eat lunch.

I thought people would find it weird, but I just tell them we are trying to have limited contact till the weddings reciting some crap about how I can’t keep my hands of him when we are together, and I want it to be special after the marriage.

The ladies in the office eat it up, not because they think I’m cute but because they didn’t know Greyson had such a soft caring side.

To say I’m shitting myself is an understatement, I’ve already drunk three of the mimosas the hotel staff made, and it has done nothing to calm my nerves.

I’ve smoothed the lines on this dress several times and nodded a thousand more time when Alex has asked me if I want this.

“Yes, Alex I’m sure, Greyson is the one for me “

I hope my wide smile and overly bright eyes are coming across as loving and not as crazy. Alex takes my hands and spins me to meet his gaze.

“Genevieve Hudson, you look amazing. “

“Alex you have told me a thousand times, but thank you “

I go to pull my hands away from his, but he doesn’t let go.

“Gen I mean it, you look amazing. Hell, you are amazing, and I can’t let you marry Greyson without telling you how I feel”.

His words hold determination, and I don’t know how to react to what he’s saying so I say nothing and wait.

“Gen, I want to be with you”.

As soon as he speaks, I wish that he would close his mouth and stop, he can’t be telling me this now. I pull my hands away from him.

“Alex, what are you saying you are with Mia”.

“No Gen I’m not, I only got back with her because I was so jealous of you and Greyson that I got drunk and ended up in her bed and then she stuck to me, she was a mistake that I don’t wish to repeat”.

“Why are you telling me this today?”

“Why? Because I can’t watch you marry a man you don’t love I know you, Gen, you’re not madly in love with him I can tell when you’re lying, I’ve spent a long time looking at you”.

I stare at him and I feel my face move into a frown.

“Not looking at you I didn’t mean it like that”.

He takes a breath and runs his hands through his hair, I notice they are shaking as he brings the backdown.

“Gen, it’s always been you. Every girl since the day we met I have measured against you because I didn’t want to tell you and ruin our friendship. “

“But you asked Mia to Marry you Alex was that all a lie”.

“No, I tried to make it work with her I really thought I loved, and then when I asked you to move here it was to help until I saw you again and I realised that it was always you Gen. I fell for you even more, when you discovered Mia was cheating on me, the way you stood up for me.”

“So, did you break up with her because she cheated or because you liked me?”

I’m not sure why I keep asking these questions but part of me is curious to know and I take a seat on the edge of my bed.

“I was planning to break up with her anyway but it all just happened at the same time”.

“Is this why you helped me move here?”

I look down at my hands now entwined in each other the way they do when I’m nervous. He kneels down in front of me.

“Of course, not I helped you move here because you needed a safe place to live, I never planned on falling in love with you”.

There are words.
The very ones I hoped he wouldn’t say.
The words that are going to cause the two of us pain.

“Alex please don’t.”

I stand up and back away from him.

“Don’t what Gen, tell you how I feel so you don’t end up making a huge mistake. Tell you that I’m so crazy in love with you every time I see you with Greyson it breaks me.”

“Yes, that stop saying that”.

I’ve always known that I loved Alex and I can’t lie I’ve wondered if it would be more, but I realised it did not love like that.

“Alex, I love you but not in the way you want me too, I’m sorry”.

This seems to do the opposite of what I hoped, and he now just seems mad, he stands from his kneeling position and steps towards me.

“Gen, you cannot be serious. Look me in the eyes and tell me you love him; tell me you want him to be your first”.

I can’t and he knows I can’t, for all of the shit he just said the one thing he was right about was him knowing me.

He steps close to me again closing any gap between us.

“You can’t you. You can’t tell me you love him because you don’t and we both know it”.

His body is pressed against mine now my back pressed on the wall, I can feel the heat radiating off him as I search his face not really knowing what to do.

The next thing I know he is kissing me, at first, I resist but then my body starts to betray me and react to him.

I snap out of it and push him away.

“NO Alex! stop”.

He seems shocked and backs away and I feel tears running down my cheeks.

“You don’t get to do this Alex you don’t get to stand here and tell me that you love me today of all days. You’ve had so many opportunities to tell me how you feel, and you choose the day I’m to be married. Why?”

The question was rhetorical, and he tries to answer but I carry on.

“You ignored me at the start of all of this when I wasn’t sure when I needed you most”.
I wipe the tears from my eyes no longer caring if it ruins my makeup the lady made me look like a clown anyway.

“Alex, I think you should leave”.

“Gen doesn’t do this, please don’t push me away”.

“I made my choice Alex; please leave I have a wedding to get to “

I turn my back to him hoping he will just leave, I’m shocked, angry and confused. It feels like my friendship with him was based on a lie.

I feel his arms wrap around me.

“Alex, I said leave “

I try to push his hands down, but he won’t let go.

“Gen I can’t I love you and I’m not letting you marry Greyson”.

“No Alex, please get off me and leave like I asked your welcome to stay for the wedding but please leave me alone”.

My voice is shaky, and I again try to push his hands off but he’s holding tight, and I can feel myself start to panic. He starts pulling me toward the door.

“ALEX PLEASE GET OFF”

“No Gen, we are leaving I won’t let you do it”.

My breathing starts to quicken, and my chest gets tight.

“Alex please I’m having a panic attack.”

He doesn’t let go and continues to pull, I struggle against him and then the weight of him is gone from behind me and I drop to my knees trying to calm my breathing, determined not to pass out.

I can hear scuffling behind me, but I pay no attention focusing on my breathing but the thought of how quickly the person I called my best friend changed before my eyes.

I wasn’t rejecting him because I wanted to lose out friendship, but he wanted me to love him in place of Greyson and the truth is I love neither of them.

“Genevieve, Listen to me. You need to breathe”.

The familiar feeling of warmth scoops me off the floor and sits me on the bed, repeatedly telling me to focus on my breathing my eyes are still clamped shut.

After a while, I feel my breathing return to normal and I open my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

The sound of Greyson’s voice resonates like a calm in a storm.

“Where is he?”

“He’s gone Genevieve, I had him removed from the building and I sent everyone home. I don’t imagine he will be contacting you for a while”.

The last time Alex stopped talking to me it made me feel awful but this time I not so sad about it, he just tried to drag me out of here with him when I rejected him. What would he have done if I still lived with him it makes me shiver at the thought?

I stare at Greyson, He made everyone leave, I guess that means he doesn’t want to marry me anymore, understandable, I guess.

“I see, I guess this means the wedding is off then?”

I search his face for an answer the feeling of sadness at the thought of him rejecting me now after everything with Alex.

“I sent them home because I don’t care about any of that stuff, I just wanted to make sure you were okay”.

“You were worried about me?”

“Of course, Genevieve. You might only be in my life because of a deal but I’m not completely devoid of human emotion”.

I don’t know what comes over me, but I do a robot voice with the arms.

“Greyson has feelings. Greyson is not heartless”.

He laughs at my joke and for the first time today, I feel a spark of joy.

“Good impression Genevieve”

“God will you stop calling me that, you can call me Gen again “

“Oh, I can do this mean we are friends again?”

“I mean sure, but you have been sneaking the odd Gen in their every now and again I just chose to overlook it”.

He takes me hand in his.

“So, GEN, want to get married?”

He has made me feel oddly calm, everything that just happened was so scary but around him, I feel safe for the first time in a long time.

Even when I lived with Alex, I felt secure but not safe, I guess now I know I was right to feel that way.

“Will you give me a minute to clean up a bit? Sure I’ll wait for you in outside the door”

He heads towards the door and I feel like I just met him for the first time, the real him. All those jokes I made with the girls at work and it’s like I’m realising it for myself.

I Head to the bathroom and spot myself in the mirror, I hated the way that woman my did my make up earlier, so I wipe it all off replacing it with my normal light layer of makeup.

I pull out all the weird hairpins for the updo she stuck on my head and let my curls fall down naturally I was grateful that she did straighten it and curl it with a wand it’s a welcome change to my usual tight curled frizzy hair.

After I, a few more minutes I open the door to see Greyson waiting. He looks me up and down and a see a smile on his face before it disappears and returns to his normal state.

“You look nice “

He extends his arm for me to link and we head to the room together. As soon as we walk in, I am speechless, it’s like he pulled my dream wedding out of my brain and executed it. White roses and candles fill the room.

There are only a few seats laid out, I guess for his parents and I see only Beverly and her grandchildren sat and the minister.

“Did you do all this?”

“Yes, I mean I had help from a wedding planner, but the ideas were my own. I always figured if I got married it would be small and intimate and this is the outcome of that.”

“It’s perfect”.

“I’m glad you Like it Gen, now are you ready to become Mrs Maddox?”

I nod and he places me at the end of the aisle while he runs to the few steps to the front, he winks at me when he gets there with a wide grin, the kind that he doesn’t show to the rest of the world, at that moment I knew.

In all the ways he annoys me and drives me crazy.

I have fallen for Greyson Maddox.